I love the military and everything but...

[wrabbit]

Recently I was trying to transition under the radar, as I've been told others have done before me while in the military... and then a couple of months ago (I was 3 months on T at that point) when a jerk of a roommate ratted me out in order to "get a better roommate". I was not hitting on her or anything, Im not that type of person at all. She's also married!

So they confiscated my T, about 60 dollars worth of it, and effectively forced me to detransition. Their doctor told me that I'd probably feel more tired and sleepy, yet they wouldn't write me a note or anything. THey said if I wanted to start up again I needed to write a letter and get it approved by my commander, then get it approved by a medical board, which could take god knows how long...

I love the military and I love serving in it, but dammit, why can't I transition? I was feeling so much better, my depression was leaving, I was more motivated to work out and do well, I was more confident, and now all that is going away...

I guess I'll just wait it out, I can't find anyone for the life of me who's going through the same thing.

[Kaitlin4475]

That is so terrible, If I were you I would try again, as long as you shave you can hide the effects of T, and they dont test for that in random drug screens. Only roids and other real drugs, I'm in the air force and I wish I could hide the effects of E. I totally identify with the comment about moving forward in your transition affecting your quality of life for the better which in turn makes you a more productive military member, I wish they could see that. The UK and Australia allow trans individuals to continue to serve, why can't we?

[GwynnRae]

wrabbit,
I defiantly feel ya! I served in the armed forces as well. The military is a juggernaut and is slow to accept any change that isn't operational in nature. Look how long its taken to accept gays in the military (I think their still working on that one).
I would recommend  that you go ahead and start the process of getting approval. Blaze that trail if its your hearts desire. Your not the first and you won't be the last.
But I will say, Love yourself and cut yourself some slack. You are important and deserve to be happy (complete). Also keep it real.

Love ya !

Gwyn

P.S. As for me, I served from '86-'92. The military wasn't ready for me. I know that others knew, but I was never called on it. I kept my nose clean until I got my Honorable Discharge because I knew that I would need it if I wanted to buy a house or use any of the other VA related services.

[snowboarderchic]

Wrabbit,
I would REALLY advise against either going "under the radar" or even trying to get approval. I'm also a military veteran and know (very intimately) the procedures of discharge, and the standards of medical fitness. Chances are you will not get approval to transition, and you will then you will most likely be discharged. You will put at risk the many benefits you've earned, including help with your transition from the VA.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm in a profession and a position to give you the real information on this subject. I realize that many have started transition in the military, but none have ever finished and remained in service (at least in the US). I would highly recommend contacting Service Members Legal Defense Network for further guidance. 
Good luck!

[wrabbit]

That is so terrible, If I were you I would try again, as long as you shave you can hide the effects of T, and they dont test for that in random drug screens. Only roids and other real drugs, I'm in the air force and I wish I could hide the effects of E. I totally identify with the comment about moving forward in your transition affecting your quality of life for the better which in turn makes you a more productive military member, I wish they could see that. The UK and Australia allow trans individuals to continue to serve, why can't we?

but I think T is technically steroids, because that's what they were accusing me of at first before I explained myself.
And a lot of people noticed there were changes with me, way before hair started growing on my face.

how is E affecting your PT?? They would still hold you up to the male standards, wouldn't they?

[wrabbit]

wrabbit,
I defiantly feel ya! I served in the armed forces as well. The military is a juggernaut and is slow to accept any change that isn't operational in nature. Look how long its taken to accept gays in the military (I think their still working on that one).
I would recommend  that you go ahead and start the process of getting approval. Blaze that trail if its your hearts desire. Your not the first and you won't be the last.
But I will say, Love yourself and cut yourself some slack. You are important and deserve to be happy (complete). Also keep it real.

Love ya !

Gwyn

P.S. As for me, I served from '86-'92. The military wasn't ready for me. I know that others knew, but I was never called on it. I kept my nose clean until I got my Honorable Discharge because I knew that I would need it if I wanted to buy a house or use any of the other VA related services.

A lot of people along the way of me getting in trouble were very reluctant to give me that much trouble about it because they didn't believe i was doing anything morally wrong. In fact a lot of other people thought the same way, that i should be that trailblazer for transgender service members to come but I really couldn't see myself doing that at all, I have no confidence and there's no way I could represent the whole population of TG in the military, you know?

It was kind of that way for me at my training base too, everyone knew but they didn't really care.
I don't really know yet what my next move is going to be

Wrabbit,
I would REALLY advise against either going "under the radar" or even trying to get approval. I'm also a military veteran and know (very intimately) the procedures of discharge, and the standards of medical fitness. Chances are you will not get approval to transition, and you will then you will most likely be discharged. You will put at risk the many benefits you've earned, including help with your transition from the VA.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm in a profession and a position to give you the real information on this subject. I realize that many have started transition in the military, but none have ever finished and remained in service (at least in the US). I would highly recommend contacting Service Members Legal Defense Network for further guidance. 
Good luck!

Do you think if I applied to be approved and they deny me, would they then come after me/discharge me?
what could the defense network do for me?

[Kaitlin4475]

I just know the GID is a disqualifying condition and is grounds for discharge, I can only seek incognito therapy (disguised as marriage counselling) sadly no E 

[Devlyn]

Thanks to all who are, or have served. I will now make a shameless plug for my Roll Call thread! Hugs, Devlyn

[Miss Jill Thorn]

hugs wrabbit being x military I  understand the hurry and wait  you can experience in military

[Jess42]

Wrabbit. The only thing I can tell you is be careful. They can discharge you for GID. If you can, I would just ride it out. I did and even though it was rough, I made it through. Being trans and with my attitude and personality I was extremely lucky to have made it past the first year but did finish the four years though. I won't lie 'cause if you go this route it doesn't do anything but get harder but at least it strengthens your intestinal fortitude. If worst comes to worst and it becomes unbearable, talk to somebody about getting out early because of GID. It's not worth trying to finish your contracted time at the expense of your mental health. I know because there is no way I could have done six years and barely finished four.

BTW, thanks for your service and safety throughout your military career.

[MaidofOrleans]

This sucks.

One of the many reasons I could never be in the military. I value my individualism too much and it drives my managers at work nuts. I hate taking orders or doing anything other than my way. Trying to start my own business...

[wrabbit]

Wrabbit. The only thing I can tell you is be careful. They can discharge you for GID. If you can, I would just ride it out. I did and even though it was rough, I made it through. Being trans and with my attitude and personality I was extremely lucky to have made it past the first year but did finish the four years though. I won't lie 'cause if you go this route it doesn't do anything but get harder but at least it strengthens your intestinal fortitude. If worst comes to worst and it becomes unbearable, talk to somebody about getting out early because of GID. It's not worth trying to finish your contracted time at the expense of your mental health. I know because there is no way I could have done six years and barely finished four.

BTW, thanks for your service and safety throughout your military career.

Thanks for your advice.
Unfortunately yes i did sign up for the 6 year so that's going to be a bit troublesome... But i think that i'm better equipped to ride it out because of my 3 months on T, i pass now so it shouldnt be too stressful- i think my troubles were amplified because i wasnt passing.

And thank you too.

[Jess42]

This sucks.

One of the many reasons I could never be in the military. I value my individualism too much and it drives my managers at work nuts. I hate taking orders or doing anything other than my way. Trying to start my own business...

You described my attitude perfectly. Being trans was hard enough to deal with while in but also having a wild rebellious streak on top of that made it really hard. Toward the end I started to get a really bad attitude with putting down the Army and my "superiors" in a humorous sort of way. The freakin' ironic thing about it is that my platoon leader put me in for an award when I ETSed for keeping everyone's moral up in the field and at NTC. Go figure, even if I try to be a butthole seriously, I still make everyone laugh. I'll never figure people out.

Thanks for your advice.
Unfortunately yes i did sign up for the 6 year so that's going to be a bit troublesome... But i think that i'm better equipped to ride it out because of my 3 months on T, i pass now so it shouldnt be too stressful- i think my troubles were amplified because i wasnt passing.

And thank you too.

No problem wrabbit. I hope you can make it but don't sacrifice too much of who you are or your mental health just to prove something. Two or four years was the common times when I was in. Did they change it to six years now?

[snowboarderchic]

Hi Wrabbit,
Sorry for the late reply 
If you do request permission and are denied, you have essentially made your intentions clear that you want to transition. While this may not lead to immediate discharge, it most likely will down the road.
If you have already been caught with HRT and they already know, then chances are the info is making it's way through the chain of command. It's really hard to say what will happen. It really depends on your chain of command. The moment someone has an issue with it they can start the discharge procedure. The discharge itself will most likely be administrative and not medical, even though GID fall under the standards of medical fitness. THat is why I said contact SLDN, pretty much to cover your own butt if/when someone decides to push the issue.
Hang in there, you'll be OK!

[wrabbit]

No problem wrabbit. I hope you can make it but don't sacrifice too much of who you are or your mental health just to prove something. Two or four years was the common times when I was in. Did they change it to six years now?

4 years is the standard now, from what i know. But there is a 6-year option that depending on what job you're in, gets you some sort of a bonus and an early promotion to e-3.
and thank you, i'm trying my best to get through each day

[wrabbit]

Hi Wrabbit,
Sorry for the late reply 
If you do request permission and are denied, you have essentially made your intentions clear that you want to transition. While this may not lead to immediate discharge, it most likely will down the road.
If you have already been caught with HRT and they already know, then chances are the info is making it's way through the chain of command. It's really hard to say what will happen. It really depends on your chain of command. The moment someone has an issue with it they can start the discharge procedure. The discharge itself will most likely be administrative and not medical, even though GID fall under the standards of medical fitness. THat is why I said contact SLDN, pretty much to cover your own butt if/when someone decides to push the issue.
Hang in there, you'll be OK!

Heya
As soon as I made it to my first duty station, they were going about it via the drug abuse route. What basically happened was the name on the bottle of T didnt match my birth name, because that's the way the doctor prescribed it. But i was able to get a re-written one, written as "BirthName, (PreferredName)". So they had to dismiss it (or so I'm guessing so far? I don't think its quite over yet) and they said I could keep taking the T as long as I informed my pharmacy on post and spoke to my doctor about what i wanted to do in the future. So as it stands now, im just waiting for the appointment, and I'll hand the pharmacy a copy of my perscription while im in the clinic, and I have my T in hand.
Thanks for your suggestion to talk to SLDN, the legal people actually were a huge help to me.

[Jessica Merriman]

I hate to say it, but you are on the radar now and we all know how they love to track. I really hope you get to stay, but with GID on a record somewhere it might be prudent to consider what to do next. You're time might be limited. I hope not, but the eventuality is there. Good luck and don't let anyone take your dreams from you. HUGS 

[wrabbit]

I hate to say it, but you are on the radar now and we all know how they love to track. I really hope you get to stay, but with GID on a record somewhere it might be prudent to consider what to do next. You're time might be limited. I hope not, but the eventuality is there. Good luck and don't let anyone take your dreams from you. HUGS 

i was speaking to a civilian psychologist with the military and we decided that he wouldnt diagnose me with GID because it would be on my record. Im glad I got such an understanding professional!
Im still working on at least getting my T back for now and have it be properly done so no one can give me any crap about it. Using that info I'd want to help others.

[Jasriella]

Well it sounds that things are working in your favor. For sure though your chain of command knows by now, and given it's waited this long they're probably wanting to keep you in the service still but need a medical clearance to do so.