What could have made things better?

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

I'm recently out to the university where I teach and will be returning to work as myself in a few weeks. I've been asked to speak about gender variance and living authentically at a training session for dorm resident assistants (r.a's). I have no trouble with the statistical information that is available about transgender and other gender issues, and talking about living authentically should come easily. But I imagine that I'm going to get questions about what they can do to help a student who might be struggling because he or she is trans.  Not trusting myself to speak on behalf of others, I thought I would pass the question to my sisters and brothers here. Was there anything done at your university or high school that made you comfortable with your identity or that could have been done that would have made you more comfortable with it?   

[Cindy]

I'm a Prof at a University in Adelaide in South Australia.

The Uni position is not my only position, in fact they don't pay me, they give me Academic status and that is it. I work in a Medical School attached to the Uni.
Enough.

We follow the sex discrimination laws strictly, we have positive affirmation and we use it. I'm sort of high profile but I doubt 1/500 students know me. I do get contact from the GLBTQetc  group if they have someone who would like to talk. I usually arrange a coffee meet in a place they nominate. Or in my office which is totally private. I ask if I can voice record the conversation, mainly for personal protection.

What do I do?
Listen.

Cindy

[Natkat]

the toilets where unisex and for gender things like sleeping together on a trip I where asked what I would like by my teacher privatly, so I could sleep with the boys if that was no problem.
for bathing I could either go somewhere myself or they had curtains in the shower so you wouldnt see anything.
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my biggest worry is always like what to do with those kind of situations, I grew up in a school where it was very no-go from the start to enter a boy toilet. I noticed as I moved to other classes or schools where this where acceptable how more easy it makes my life.

[Shantel]

Jane, congratulations on your personal triumphs! Perhaps you could suggest that they leave their pre-conceived notions at home and steer clear of any tendencies to have an "ICK" reaction to any particular individual and make every effort to treat them fairly and with a compassionate heart and above all be a good listener as Cindy suggests.

[Northern Jane]

What is the university's dorm policy? Are TG people housed according to their birth sex, co-ed, or self-identified sex? It makes a difference.

What is needed is:

#1 - Understanding, tolerance, and respect! Treat everyone the way you would want to be treated and insist others do the same.

#2 - Privacy. No matter what stage a person is at, they need privacy for toilets, showers, and changing - NOBODY should be made to feel uncomfortable.

It is probably too much to hope that the university would use the student's chosen name and gender .....

[suzifrommd]

Was there anything done at your university or hight school that made you comfortable with you identity or that could have been done that would have made you more comfortable with it?

I would like to see transgender be part of the required high school health curriculum. Every student should receive a lesson on it.

[ZoeM]

I would like to see transgender be part of the required high school health curriculum. Every student should receive a lesson on it.

A sufficiently neutral lesson that it won't offend anyone's parents, right?

[ZoeM]

so in other words the lesson would be "some people are different, the end."  Anything more than that and someones going to get offended

Pretty much.

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

There's some great advice here. As far as I know, my institution does not offer the support in terms of privacy and accommodations that would help the trans-population. Actually, this meeting will be a perfect time to bring up the omission. And we do have trans-students. Within two weeks of my coming out to faculty and staff, two students approached me to tell me they were transgender.

Shantel's point about limiting the "ick" factor is especially good. It may be hard to eradicate it entirely, but I think that having the R.A's state directly that being trans or gay is acceptable and perfectly normal mind go a long way toward nudging us toward that environment.

You folks are all beautiful. Thanks!