Calico, making peace with my past was the most important factor in being able to maintain my peace of mind.
I really love the serenity prayer: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
My past is 100% in the category of things I cannot change. So I pray to accept it. Doesn't mean I like it. There are a lot of regrets and unhappy moments. I let the bad feelings wash over me, allowing myself to feel them. They pass. If I pray enough for acceptance of my past, the acceptance comes.
It helps if I make amends to people in the past whom I've harmed, when I can (If this lingo sounds familiar, I learned it from reading 12-step literature). Amends are more than just apologies. I try to find a way to make up for the harm I've done. Once I do that, the past is much easier to let go.
As for misreading people, sweetie, we all get stuff wrong sometimes. Luckily we're not required to be perfect at it. We can expect our friends to be understanding when we get it wrong. Anyone who won't forgive you for misreading something they said, has their own issues.
Congrats on taking the step to stop meds. I know how much courage it takes to face depression without them (heck, it takes courage to face depression even with them). I hope that continues to progress. You deserve to be happy.
And post whenever you want. I'm here.
