I feel like my time is running out.

[Dreams2014]

I'm 23 and I want to start HRT asap.

I know that many people start later in life, but I hear that the best results are achieved before the age of 25, which makes sense as this is a sort of "peak age".

I'm worried that if I miss this window of opportunity I'll be damaging my chances of a successful transition.

There was no real point to this thread I suppose I just wanted to whine, lol

[Nicolette]

I started at your age. What is keeping you from starting HRT?

[Dreams2014]

I live with my parents. I want to be in a better financial position and im in therapy for OCD/health anxiety which is quite a lot to be getting on with atm.

But it's mainly the parents thing. They're sick to death of my OCD, they can't handle it. I don't think they could handle being told that I'm transgender

[Nero]

There are a lot of myths and 'everybody knows' about HRT out there. The best time is before or during your first puberty. After that, genetics determine a lot. Someone could be 20 and have a less satisfactory result than someone 40 depending on genetics. Testosterone isn't an equal opportunity poisoner lol. Arguably, by 20 most the damage has already been done.
I really don't think there's much difference between 23 and 25 or 26 for that matter. The main age difference is probably a hair thing. You'll probably have more hair issues to deal with the older you are. But again, I don't think a couple years will make much difference.

[Nicolette]

Oooh, they don't know yet. I was living with my mum when I started. She took it well. Well, she took it well because of her upbringing, personality and her later studies. She studied sociology and became a social worker. OCD sounds 'interesting'.

[Dreams2014]

Oooh, they don't know yet. I was living with my mum when I started. She took it well. Well, she took it well because of her upbringing, personality and her later studies. She studied sociology and became a social worker. OCD sounds 'interesting'.

Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.

[Madison Leigh]

Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.

I wouldn't say it's cowardly.  But I would caution you to put a lot of thought into it before going down that path.  Before I started my transition I rarely left the house - I have a job as a software developer and get to work from home and I've never been much on "going out" or anything.  Part of my transition has been to get out more.  I've found that little things such as going out to dinner with some friends or even to the store have done wonders for me, both from a mental standpoint and with regards to simple things such as observing mannerisms.  Long term I truly believe I'm going to have a much easier time with things because of this rather than waiting until my "transition is complete". 

I'm not trying to say that what you suggest isn't right for you - perhaps it is - I'm just saying I would really think about it hard before doing it.

[Nicolette]

Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.

I stayed at home during transition. I had a great ally, a business partner who I told and who was ok with it. We both worked from our respective bedrooms until the business grew and I grew. By the time we could afford other employees and offices, I had fully transitioned and no-one was the wiser. Sounds like the same path you want to take. It's very feasible.

[Danielle Emmalee]

Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.

You may pass better as a female by then but passing as a human could be trouble being locked away for so long, some might think you are a vampire. 

[Dreams2014]

I wouldn't say it's cowardly.  But I would caution you to put a lot of thought into it before going down that path.  Before I started my transition I rarely left the house - I have a job as a software developer and get to work from home and I've never been much on "going out" or anything.  Part of my transition has been to get out more.  I've found that little things such as going out to dinner with some friends or even to the store have done wonders for me, both from a mental standpoint and with regards to simple things such as observing mannerisms.  Long term I truly believe I'm going to have a much easier time with things because of this rather than waiting until my "transition is complete". 

I'm not trying to say that what you suggest isn't right for you - perhaps it is - I'm just saying I would really think about it hard before doing it.

It's a valid point to make about observing mannerisms. But I have no desire to learn how to act like a woman, merely to be one physically, and my personality (and hormones) will decide what kind of woman I am. I can't imagine myself being traditionally girly, as I have no love for makeup or dresses. Probably a tomboy sort of gal

[Dreams2014]

You may pass better as a female by then but passing as a human could be trouble being locked away for so long, some might think you are a vampire.

As long as it's not a Twilight style vampire I think I'd be cool with that!

[Horizon]

There are a lot of myths and 'everybody knows' about HRT out there. The best time is before or during your first puberty. After that, genetics determine a lot. Someone could be 20 and have a less satisfactory result than someone 40 depending on genetics. Testosterone isn't an equal opportunity poisoner lol. Arguably, by 20 most the damage has already been done.
I really don't think there's much difference between 23 and 25 or 26 for that matter. The main age difference is probably a hair thing. You'll probably have more hair issues to deal with the older you are. But again, I don't think a couple years will make much difference.

I've never understood why the "myth" isn't true.  For many genetic males, a huge amount of facial masculinization takes place somewhere in the mid to late 20's.  If this can be avoided, I would call that a "better result."

[Nero]

There are a lot of myths and 'everybody knows' about HRT out there. The best time is before or during your first puberty. After that, genetics determine a lot. Someone could be 20 and have a less satisfactory result than someone 40 depending on genetics. Testosterone isn't an equal opportunity poisoner lol. Arguably, by 20 most the damage has already been done.
I really don't think there's much difference between 23 and 25 or 26 for that matter. The main age difference is probably a hair thing. You'll probably have more hair issues to deal with the older you are. But again, I don't think a couple years will make much difference.

I've never understood why the "myth" isn't true.  For many genetic males, a huge amount of facial masculinization takes place somewhere in the mid to late 20's.  If this can be avoided, I would call that a "better result."

I've never heard that. What kind of facial masculinization?

[monica93304]

Hi doll.  It is true that the sooner you start, the better off you'll be...

But...be patient.  I'm going to be 43 next month.  I started HRT in January 2012.  It's going well.  I couldn't have began transition at 20.  Everything was stacked against me.  But I never lost hope.

You'll be fine. Hang in there.

M.

[Ltl89]

Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.

You remind me of myself a few months ago.  I was 23 hoping to start hormones soon and wanted to get enough finances to be able to move and hide from society.  In my case, that was a fantasy.  I am now 24 and starting everything and feel glad.  It's awkward to come out, but it needs to be done.  Why not act now?  I do understand wanting to be able to provide for yourself.  If you can do so, then great, but be aware that this isn't the most welcoming economy for young recent college grads. If it's possible for you to transition at home, it may save you a lot of headaches and costs.  Plus, you will have a support system right there for you.  If not, you can always act on your plan when you are 24. 

[Dreams2014]

You remind me of myself a few months ago.  I was 23 hoping to start hormones soon and wanted to get enough finances to be able to move and hide from society.  In my case, that was a fantasy.  I am now 24 and starting everything and feel glad.  It's awkward to come out, but it needs to be done.  Why not act now?  I do understand wanting to be able to provide for yourself.  If you can do so, then great, but be aware that this isn't the most welcoming economy for young recent college grads. If it's possible for you to transition at home, it may save you a lot of headaches and costs.  Plus, you will have a support system right there for you.  If not, you can always act on your plan when you are 24.

Maybe. But my parents already deal with my OCD, which is tough enough. I ideally wanted to put many miles between myself and them before I told them about how I feel lol. We'll see how it plays out.

[Nero]

Honestly, I don't think the starting early thing is all it is cracked up to be. I would say that genetics plays a larger role in this than anything else. I don't pay attention to studies because you can sway them to say whatever you wish at the end of the day. As long as you start rolling the transitional ball down the road, then that is all that matters. It isn't a big deal if it is 19, 39 or 69, just get going with it. No point in lamenting what you didn't do. Just do it now and move on.

Yep.
And to the OP, I really don't think a couple years are going to matter. 10? yeah maybe. But 23 to 25? People always like to draw lines of demarcation for various ages but 25 really isn't any different than 24. 25, 30, and 40 etc are not magic lines bestowing all kinds of things once crossed.

I think the only aspects which age matter for this past puberty are the hair ones. Receding hairlines and bald spots are pretty masculinizing. Another possible difference is you may be better able to grow a beard the older you are (again this is genetics). But I doubt a couple years will make much difference in either case.

I would just relax and get on HRT when you are able. The stress of worrying about it will probably make more difference in your looks than a year will.

[Joanna Dark]

I've never understood why the "myth" isn't true.  For many genetic males, a huge amount of facial masculinization takes place somewhere in the mid to late 20's.  If this can be avoided, I would call that a "better result."


I've never heard that. What kind of facial masculinization?

None. That doesn't happen. Not that I've ever seen.  The whole 25 thing is bizarre. Why 25? What happens then? No one ever answers this. It's all genetics. That being said I agree the earlier the better. Why suffer more?

I am 30 and I know a lot of people and no one looks much different or at all different between 25 and 30 or even 35. maybe a little more aged but nothing else. Maybe their face is fatter. Masculinization is done by 20. You do not grow after that. Ever. In fact, I looked less masculine at 29 then I did at 22. One reason for that: weight. I think this is a dangerous myth because it forces people into transition when they may not be ready.

But you are right fitter admin: I couldn't grow facial hair at 22 or even 25 but I can now. It's horrific. It's probably what pushed my dysphoria over the edge to where I had to transition as my androgny was dissapearing from beard shadow. My nose looks different too. But that's from being beat up three times.

[Ltl89]

Yep.
And to the OP, I really don't think a couple years are going to matter. 10? yeah maybe. But 23 to 25? People always like to draw lines of demarcation for various ages but 25 really isn't any different than 24. 25, 30, and 40 etc are not magic lines bestowing all kinds of things once crossed.

I think the only aspects which age matter for this past puberty are the hair ones. Receding hairlines and bald spots are pretty masculinizing. Another possible difference is you may be better able to grow a beard the older you are (again this is genetics). But I doubt a couple years will make much difference in either case.

I would just relax and get on HRT when you are able. The stress of worrying about it will probably make more difference in your looks than a year will.

I agree with this.  The only real benefit to doing it earlier is that you will reach your goal sooner.  If I had waited another year, the end result probably would be the same.  Yet, I couldn't wait another year.  I gave up my dream of transitioning when I was 19 and waited till I was 24 to actually take action. Honestly, I sort of regret it.  As much as I have enjoyed my life in those past 5 years,  I always had the yearning to be myself.  So a year isn't much in terms of results, but it is a long wait to remain patient.  Having said that, if the op can wait it out for another year, it won't make a difference.  If that will allow her to move forward and she can wait patiently until that time, then that sounds like a good plan.  There is no use worrying about one year if your main concern is whether it will change your likeliness of passing.  It's a non issue. The reasons to start earlier are more about getting to where you want to be.  However, you need a way to get there , and taking the time may allow that to be possible.   So do what's best for you and don't fret such a little amount of time. 

[Vicky]

I am 65+ and the avatar picture is little old me.  I started E at 61, and can't pass for a day over 50.  The best thing about my legal gender change on my DL is I can prove that this old trans broad is old enough for the senior citizens specials at restaurants.