public/private conflict

[vegie271]

But that kind of thing is the only exposure that many people have had to trans* people, so when they meet an actual trans* person IRL they tend to think in a continuation of that same frame of mind. So they'll ask what's in my underwear or how I have sex or any of a huge range of inappropriate Jerry-style questions. That's not OK.

I've made the mistake before of answering those kind of questions, and they only tend to escalate as people presume that your reply gives them permission to keep asking even more intrusive questions. So in my experience, it's best to nip it in the bud. So my response is to say: "I'm sorry, but that's a very personal question" because I know that answering those kind of questions generally makes me feel increasingly uncomfortable. I've recently had to drop my Personal Trainer for this exact reason.

This is the problem I have had, I was raped last year and ended up in intensive therapy, people would of course find out about me, and one of the first things they would says is "so you are a man" - my immediate response is" did I ever seem like one before you found this out about me? I was was born female and I have ALWAYS been female! then really weird questions would get asked.

[FTMDiaries]

This is the problem I have had, I was raped last year and ended up in intensive therapy, people would of course find out about me, and one of the first things they would says is "so you are a man" - my immediate response is" did I ever seem like one before you found this out about me? I was was born female and I have ALWAYS been female! then really weird questions would get asked.

So sorry about what you went through.

That's why I say that if you answer the first rude question, they seem to believe you've given them permission to ask you dozens more.

[vegie271]

So sorry about what you went through.

That's why I say that if you answer the first rude question, they seem to believe you've given them permission to ask you dozens more.

Pretty much - so from now on I am practicing stealth - I am moving to a new city within 4 months where I will only let my doctors office know who I am & probably a therapist & at most I will have to tell the admissions office at the college (they will need to see my old records)

[Lo]

Uh, you do know that the internet is effectively run by people who are in their 30s and that every site you use was prolly created from someone around 35? No offense, you must be really young, but anyone who is in their 30s grew up with computers and search engines, this isn't something exclusive to 18 year olds. I am prolly being to senstive but I am 30 and I hardly consider myself some inept old folgie.

Not that young: 24. Maybe it's just me, but 9/10 of the adults older than me that I know are pretty technologically illiterate. The majority of my family doesn't use the internet beyond facebook, email, groupon, and the occasional news website.

I don't really know how my comment could have been extrued as being offensive... I'm trying to cut some slack on people that have no idea how information is cataloged and found on the internet, how search engine indexing works, how to organize keywords to find the information they need. Yeah sure, a couple dozen people invented the internet. Doesn't mean everyone else born in their decade magically knows how SEO works.  Yannow... unless you want me to get frustrated and uppity with my grandmother who still doesn't know that Food Network has a website and that she can go there to find that bread pudding recipe she wanted?

Anyways.

[FTMDiaries]

Not that young: 24. Maybe it's just me, but 9/10 of the adults older than me that I know are pretty technologically illiterate. The majority of my family doesn't use the internet beyond facebook, email, groupon, and the occasional news website.

I don't really know how my comment could have been extrued as being offensive... I'm trying to cut some slack on people that have no idea how information is cataloged and found on the internet, how search engine indexing works, how to organize keywords to find the information they need. Yeah sure, a couple dozen people invented the internet. Doesn't mean everyone else born in their decade magically knows how SEO works.

The majority of people of all ages don't use the Internet extensively. Even teenagers only ever use FB, Instagram, Twitter and websites dedicated to their particular interests. And very few people know or care how SEO works - it's generally only those of us who have an interest in the subject, or have studied web design/development, who understand it.

I guess the reason why your comment may have been construed as offensive by some of us is because it was we over-35s who built personal computers and the Internet in the first place and taught you young whippersnappers how to use these tools. It is also inappropriate to discriminate against people based on their age.

So... what was our topic here again?

[Lo]

It's all about expectations. I don't expect most of the people I know to know the first thing about trans* concerns, I don't expect them to know how to look it up and find information that doesn't make us look worse. I'm not going to go up to an aunt or uncle and laugh at them if I find out they don't know what ctrl + alt + delete is. Young people are far more literate than previous generations-- if we don't know how to do something, we're quick to look it up and figure out how. That's something that I generally see less of in older people. Everything I know about running websites and building computers I practically learned on my own, thank you very much.

Again, it's all about expectations. People get hurt if their expectations are too high. I see kids on tumblr ranting and raving about how their parents don't know what stuff like "omnigender" means, and how that's oppression, and god why can't they just educate themselves?? It's a little much if you ask me. I'm just trying to keep it real.

[Joanna Dark]

Not that young: 24. Maybe it's just me, but 9/10 of the adults older than me that I know are pretty technologically illiterate. The majority of my family doesn't use the internet beyond facebook, email, groupon, and the occasional news website.

I don't really know how my comment could have been extrued as being offensive... I'm trying to cut some slack on people that have no idea how information is cataloged and found on the internet, how search engine indexing works, how to organize keywords to find the information they need. Yeah sure, a couple dozen people invented the internet. Doesn't mean everyone else born in their decade magically knows how SEO works.  Yannow... unless you want me to get frustrated and uppity with my grandmother who still doesn't know that Food Network has a website and that she can go there to find that bread pudding recipe she wanted?

Anyways.

I was just joking really lol I wasn't offended and knew exactly what you meant. Plus I'm not even 35 so yeah. Hehe