Introduction

[sassymotif]

Hi folks, I am here to introduce myself - I just joined the site today - excited and nervous as this represents taking action toward transition.  I am a 56 year old male - I thought about transition intensely in my early 20's and then just decided I was a gay male, and then off and on for the next 25 years - for the past 4 years the intensity has returned and I don't know what this means.  I am absolutely certain that I wished I had been born a girl.  I know that I have a female brain, but what does it mean to my life to transition at this stage? Have I left it too long?  I think about it all the time.........I watch transition you tube  videos obsessively - I made a therapy appointment but then cancelled.   Is this typical behavior for an MTF who is on the brink of transition?   I am excited about even being able to speak to you now.  Any comments will be treasured.  Thanks.  Sassymotif

[V M]

Hi Sassymotif 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here

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Hugs

V M

[Danielle Emmalee]

Many people transition at your age, some even later, and they have ended up being happy with doing it.  Its never too late to be true to yourself.  Therapy is usually the best first step.  After coming here of course!

[Miss Jill Thorn]

hi sassymotif and welcome to this site and greetings from alabama,hugs

[Jamie D]

Hey there Sassy.  Good to meet you.

Let me give you my personal perspective.  The level of gender dysphoria is different from person to person, and in an individual, can change over time.

I first felt it as a "tween" and coped the best I could for decades (we are about the same age).  In time though, I had to reassess.

One of our former moderators lived for a number of years as a gay male, before making the decision to transition.  I will give her a knock and see what she has to say.

In any case, welcome! 

[mrs izzy]

Wish you a warm welcome.

As a girl never tells her real age lets say i was born just 2 years before the JFK assassination. Just this year i had my GCS, been in transition since 1999. Its never to late to be yourself.

Keep true to yourself always as you walk this path.

Izzy

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi sassymotif,

Welcome to our little family. Over 6993. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.


Janet  )O(

[Padma]

Hi there - yes, that'd be me Jamie is referring to, and my story is pretty similar to yours. I first let myself know I wanted to transition back when I was in my 20's, but shoved it away, and spent 25 years trying to "pass" as (among other things) a gay man, until one day I woke up and smelled the oestrogen.

I'm now 2 years into transitioning (in the UK), and have my pre-op consultation due next month (since I want gender affirmation surgery, which not everybody wants). I think you could just really let yourself be yourself, and find out who that is now. As has already been said, many people don't transition until they're older, out of fear or uncertainty, or simply because it was that much harder when we were young. In my case it took me longer because (a) I had some abuse issues to sort out first, and (b) it then took a while to realise I was a "real" trans woman, because the woman I am is pretty much a dyke, and not feminine, and most of what you get to hear about trans women (until you dig a bit deeper) is just stories of the ones who "knew since back when I was being potty trained" and who wanted to be princesses and do the dresses and dolls thing as a kid (all my heroines were Trouser-Clad Adventuresses like Amelia Earhart). There are billions of different kinds of woman - and they're all real, all valid. (Come to that, there are billions of different permutations on gender identity, so it's fine if the label "woman" doesn't tell the whole story on its own - there are plenty of people for whom that's the case.)

It's not too late to discover yourself fully - though you may have to go through some grief for not being able to do it sooner, alongside the joy and relief of being yourself. Have fun exploring! I would recommend finding a good gender therapist and a support group to help you do this, and steer clear of anyone who seems to be more certain than you about who they think you are . And be patient with the people close to you who will need time to catch up with you. And be patient with yourself too, don't try to rush a new identity - transitioning is pretty much a fresh adolescence, and you know what *that's* like...

[Susan]

Welcome we are so very glad you are here!

[Amelia Pond]

Welcome to Susan's, where it's never too late to be yourself!

I know, corny line but it's true. There are a lot of people that don't start transitioning until they are in their 50's or later. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether you can transition or not.

Amy

[sassymotif]

This is Sassy.  I just want to extend my sincere thanks to all of you who responded to my Introduction.  The warmth and sense of community that I already feel is very inspiring - I am so glad that I took the step to sign up (though I will admit that it felt a bit like a treacherous track toward a point of no return - but the point of no return seems to be precisely what I am looking for).  I am not as computer savvy as some of you, but I hope to become more acquainted with the site and learn how to get the most out of it.  I have learned already that the very first step is to make an appointment with a therapist.  I need affirmation that I am trans - when I read other trans stories, I cant help but believe that I am - I have thought about transition for over 30 years, always felt more of a girl than a guy although I faked a rather acceptable male presentation, have envied women all my life, and during sex or masturbation I fantasize that I am a woman having intercourse with a man.  Wow, divulging that was not easy!  Never have admitted that to anyone............so these facts alone certainly indicate that I have gender issues that I either continue to live with, or I release myself to my true self.  I am not happy as things are, and believe that my depression and use of alcohol are inherently more related to dysphoria, and not just being the sissy son of an extreme narcissist father?    Thank you all for allowing me to be here and present with my issues - I hope to provide my own support and insight to others in need.  Sassy

[sassymotif]

hi sassymotif and welcome to this site and greetings from alabama,hugs

Hey there Sassy.  Good to meet you.

Let me give you my personal perspective.  The level of gender dysphoria is different from person to person, and in an individual, can change over time.

I first felt it as a "tween" and coped the best I could for decades (we are about the same age).  In time though, I had to reassess.

One of our former moderators lived for a number of years as a gay male, before making the decision to transition.  I will give her a knock and see what she has to say.

In any case, welcome! 

thank you so  much Jamie - I appreciate it - ur sister Sassy

[sassymotif]

hi sassymotif and welcome to this site and greetings from alabama,hugs

thank you Miss Jill - nice to meet u - ur sister Sassy Motif

[Jamie D]

Sassy, working with a therapist is a good idea, especially if you use her/him as a sounding-board.  But really, you have already made the most important first appointment - with yourself!  We all started our journeys with a question: Could I be ...?