New Member~My SO Intro

[GypsySoul]

   My name is Gypsy, I am new to Susan's Place, just wanted to introduce myself and tell part of my story.

On Christmas night, after we had tucked our children into bed, my husband, C, revealed to me that almost his whole life he has felt like he should be a woman. We have been married 3 years. Together 5. And I have known him just under half of my life. I felt very stupid for not knowing there was something amiss before now. I felt betrayed that he had never told me. I was angry and I was hurt. I felt that I was in part to blame for this.

  After I had had some time to calm myself I made the decision to stay with the person who was my husband. I hadnt fallen in love with C because he was a man, though it helped seeing as I do not consider myself to be BiSexual or Lesbian. (Guess I have some thinking to do on that one ) I love C because of all he is to me. He is the father of my youngest child and acting father to my daughter. He is my supporter, my lover, my confidant, my best friend. He is also the only person I have ever truly loved or trusted. While this came as a very heavy blow to me came to realize that I feel in love with C as a PERSON and not as a man.

  I made the decision to love and support C through her transition. We are now seeking a therapist for her and also going to be starting marriage counseling. BUT, she has requested that I not say anything to our friends or family members for the time being. I suppose that is why I am here. After 2 months of keeping this in my head it is starting to get a little crowded in there. This is what seems to be a safe anon place where I can stand up and scream that MY SPOUSE IS TRANSGENDER! AND I LOVE HER ANYWAY! (I know that seems a little juvenile but hey, like I said, 2 months alone in my brain with this.... o.O)

  This is very new territory for me and I will probably have millions of questions before her transition is through, and likely plenty after. I just thought it may be polite to introduce myself beforehand =D Thank you for reading. And thank you Susan for providing a place for people like me to find that they are not alone!

GYPSY

[Dragonfly]

Gypsy,

I kept everything inside and never confided to anyone for about two years.  You are definitely taking the smarter path!  This can be a very stressful situation and I'm glad you found Susan's.


Blessed be,
Shannon

[chloe23]

I would keep quiet till you both get a chance to talk with a therapist or marriage counsler.  They can help you and give you direction to help both of you thru this and when is the right time to come out. There really is no good answer to this and you just have to hope for the best and you both make it thru this together.Your partner will need all the support from you during this and she needs to support you also. This is both of yours journey. I wish you the best of luck Gypsy thru this.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Gypsy,

Please feel free to scream and rant as much as you want/need. It's your one and only pressure relief valve, under the circumstances. I believe once the pressure is released through whatever means; clarity of the matter is perceived.

I mean to say, in just under two months, you have just had to take on board what C has been fighting with for most of her lifetime. That's no easy call in anyones terms. Sorry to repeat myself, but your courage and strength of resolve to see this through is nothing short of heroic.

Ask what you need, when you need, We are all here for you. Strength to you both, and a double portion for yourself.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[justmeinoz]

My previous post seems to have been eaten by Cyberspace so I'll try again.

Firstly, sticking by C as you travel the transition road is truly admirable and exceptional.  Have a great big hug from Aunty Karen.   

Feel free to rant and scream as much as you want,it is good to get things out.  I bottled them up for 50 years and it didn't do me any good at all.
Last year  I actually went up to the top of the mountain that overlooks my city, went out onto the viewing platform and screamed, " Hey world, this is what a transsexual lesbian looks like, and you are just going to have to like it!"  It felt very therapeutic. 

C will not change overnight physically, so you will have some time to get used to the changes until she has been on HRT for a while.  Emotional changes will happen sooner, and you may find she understands your responses a lot more than pre-transition.  Some partners seem to find the change from a male-dominant relationship to a more equal one a relief, and even joked that they love finally being able to take their partner shopping all day without a problem.

Seriously though I think you are an absolute gem, and deserve all the support we can give.

Hugs, Karen.

[Catherine Sarah]

As Karen said.  +1

[SerenaExpat]

It's difficult when your SO comes out as being transgendered, but I completely applaud and agree with your love. With my SO we are not married or have children, but there's no way I would ditch him/her and I am 100% supportive and endorse this process.

I am covering too with family and some friends, but so what? I have lost a lover, and gained a close friend. You don't share real secrets and closeness with your husband anyway.

All we need now is to get my SO in employment and then the financial pressure is off me.

[SerenaExpat]

Oh, I thoroughly endorse and approve of the process now. It's completely right for my SO.

Lover's come and go, now I have a friend for life. I know everything about her soul now.

[cheonsa1017]

I'm trying very hard to wrap my mind around the idea that my husband has made a decision that's going to change my life, and that of our daughter, forever. I really don't have any idea what to do yet, as it's only been a few days, but we go to our first counseling session together tomorrow and I hope that will be good and help me to understand a little bit.

I love him unconditionally, and I guess this is just another part of that, but I'd appreciate help from anyone on the matter. Thank you.