Fear of coming out massively holding me back.

[Zoe Louise Taylor]

Hey Zoe,
I think your in good company here. I've recently moved to the pacific northwest and made a commitment to myself that I be honest with  myself and others about being trans. I'm planning to start "part-time" next month (meaning just in my personal life, not professional) and I've found myself becoming a shut in. Afraid to make friends (I've only one left since coming out) I find myself becoming a hermit. Luckily, I've found a group of great trans people here and try to attend gatherings when I'm able, and I go to an accepting church where I've come out to the pastor and the deacons. Other then that, I tend to turtle up as I'm afraid that I will be rejected once potential friends find out. I just make it a point to "just get out" (I've probably a touch of social anxiety). Yeah, its definitely hard and I have to work at it one day at a time.
Zoe, find a support group in your area. With a bit of research on the internet and a few phone calls, you can find your sisters/brothers what will just be there for you. It may be a good step in normalizing being trans and find some self acceptance.

Love ya Sis,

Gwyn

Thanks chick

Ive actually just joined a support group in the Rotherham area called transupport.
Im hoping to go to there monthly meeting on monday, im a bit nervous, but so exited.
Its my first big step in the right direction!!!

x

[Jamie D]

Zoe I am sort in the same boat, I am completely mortified and scared to say anything, and I just turned 30, I've had ups and downs about my desire to be female. I think some were when I was around 20 I pretty much wanted to be female 24/7 - turning 30 has only amplified my desire to come out and say something, so maybe I can move froward.

Honestly I am on the fence about therapy, I am not really sure what they could say to me about what I can already say about myself. Ha if that sentence made some sense to me maybe I do need therapy  .  But I find coming out important to me others may not and what is important is what you believe is important for you to move forward, but as I said I am very scared to do it all I can do is point out that everyone here is cheering for your success!

The one thing I've learned since joining, everyone here is looking out for one another since we are in the same boat per-say.

So good luck, what ever your do!

I agree that one's first coming out must be to themselves.  A therapist can help guide your path, point out potential pitfalls, and give you the moral support that might be lacking from others.  And a good therapist can help with coming out strategies.