Avatars

[Sephirah]

I'm not even saying anything in this thread.

*backs away slowly and considers changing avatars again*

>_<

[Shannon1979]

Mine is me. i decided that i was 100% out like a few others so i dont care what anyone thinks. i am just me. pre HRT and everything else.

[AdamMLP]

Mine's me.  Its getting a bit old now I suppose, but it's the best cut I've ever gotten so I don't want to change it.

[E-Brennan]

So, despite semi-crappy makeup, my current avatar!

If I could put makeup on even half as well as you, I wouldn't have tossed mine in the trash!  You look great.

[Dreams2014]

I'd use a selfie, but I haven't started transition yet, and I've not told anybody about my desire to transition yet. So just in case anybody I know comes along and stumbles across these forums...yeah I'm not using a selfie.

As for my current avatar, I like Lightning (Final Fantasy XIII) and I connect with her and relate to her as a character.

[FTMDiaries]

Mine is me @ 5 years of age, back in 1976 - which is when I first realised I was a boy. I'm dressed in my pink ballet outfit because I took up ballet lessons on the suggestion of a friend (who lived in the house with the red roof you can see in the background). My Mum said I was rubbish at ballet: clomping around the stage with all the natural grace of a carthorse.

We became friends because her mother invited me to her 5th birthday party, and my mother insisted I go because she was worried about the fact that I seemed to gravitate towards playing with boys. I was very nervous about that party: I didn't know how to get along with girls and I far preferred the easy companionship I had with my brother & male friends.

My friendship with that girl was a very interesting - and weird - experience. She was a very 'girly' girl who loved to play social games, and whilst I tried to become interested in the things she did (because everyone told me I was supposed to like them too, being a girl & all) I found it all very alien and baffling. I was very intimidated by the weird games she liked to play - games which I later learned were perfectly normal for little girls. I felt so out of place because I just didn't get why those games were supposed to be interesting. I'd much rather go exploring with my male friends in the African bush across the road from our house than play dolls with that friend.

My mother made me play with that girl because she wanted me to be more feminine. But it was through studying this girl up close that I first figured out that I wasn't a girl at all. So I chose my avatar because it represents the beginning of my transition: the first moment I knew something wasn't right with my gender.

[nepla]

My avatar reflects how I feel inside - not so noticeable on the avatar, but the eyes exude a profound sadness - which just resonated with me.
I've only recently added it to my profile but have had it as a screen background on the computer for some time. I have downloaded a huge collection of fantasy , elf and fairy backgrounds and pictures and this one is my favourite.

[CalmRage]

My avatar depicts my favorite Elder Scrolls character: the old orc warrior Amro, who late in his life discovers he is a dragonborn and then has to save the world. Unfortunately he also has a very twisted sense of morality and is not a good guy even though he exterminated the dark brotherhood. I just liked my design on him. The grizzly old PONYTAILED (can't see that on this picture, but hey) orc.

[Donna Elvira]

My avatar is also of me, just a few weeks ago. I really have no idea how I appear to others except that I seem to pass pretty well except under really close scrutiny.  However what I can say without any doubt is that is that the avater image  reflects the level of comfort I have gained about who I am, an evolution that has surprised even me as two years ago I was as scared about all of this as many of people who sign up here every day and who are just at the beginning of their journey.
Yesterday evening I had dinner with all three of my kids, something that doesn't happen very often as none of us live in the same region and France is quite a big country. Anyway, I showed up in a summer dress very similar to the one in my avatar picture and my eldest daughter couldn't help but remind me that only two years ago, I would have been in baggy shorts and tee-short or  similar summer wear, looking every bit the advanced middle aged guy that my ID papers said I was. There was some regret in her voice but she has also noted just how much happier I seem to be.
I have been helped enormously by surgery and know I wouldn't be where I am without it but I guess the fact that such options are now available to us should be a cause for optimism for everyone, even those who can't afford it for now. A good FSS surgeon really can do miracles as anyone who looks at my photo album on ffs-support@yahoogroups.com can find out. The pictorial history illustrates just how much of a miracle was required...
Hugs
Donna

[Ltl89]

My avatar is Rhinoa from Final Fantasy 8.  I choose her because I love the game and relate with the character.  I'm a very idealistic person who very much wants to help be part of the solutions in the world.  Throughout the game, one can see that Rhinoa is very much that kind of person through her political activism.  I would also say we both have a bit of a radical streak, desire to find our purpose, be important in some fashion and one day find true love.  Just my interpretation of the character and how I related with her.

As for my own picture, I doubt I could ever do that.  I'm just way too uncomfortable sharing photos at this point in time.  I'm not bad looking or totally hopeless, but I'm early in the process and want everyone to see the beautiful girl I am inside (come one you all know I'm amazing)!  I will pass in time, but it will take a little more time and effort.  However, I don't know if I could even share at that point.  I have this nagging fear of being outed and then bullied for the rest of my life.  You never know who lurks around on the internet.

[Carrie Liz]

Well, hey, Leslie, I started out with an anime avatar as well. For MANY months, people knew me as the following image of Nausicaa from the Studio Ghibli film "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind." And just like you, I chose her because I believed she was a lot like me... a nature-lover, a pacifist, one who hates conflict, and loves animals, and has a calm demeanor.



It took me over five and a half months of HRT before I decided that I was finally ready to change my avatar to a picture of myself. So yeah... a lot of it is just self-confidence. Pre-HRT, and in the beginning, I felt like Nausicaa was a better depiction of my true self than an actual picture was. So I don't think there was any shame in using her instead of myself. And that's really what an avatar is all about. It's about having some sort of image that everyone can associate with you, which when they see it they think of you. Whether that's an image of your real self or a hypothetical self that you believes represents your true self, I don't think it matters.

[JLT1]

Mine is me @ 5 years of age, back in 1976 - which is when I first realised I was a boy. I'm dressed in my pink ballet outfit because I took up ballet lessons on the suggestion of a friend (who lived in the house with the red roof you can see in the background). My Mum said I was rubbish at ballet: clomping around the stage with all the natural grace of a carthorse.

We became friends because her mother invited me to her 5th birthday party, and my mother insisted I go because she was worried about the fact that I seemed to gravitate towards playing with boys. I was very nervous about that party: I didn't know how to get along with girls and I far preferred the easy companionship I had with my brother & male friends.

My friendship with that girl was a very interesting - and weird - experience. She was a very 'girly' girl who loved to play social games, and whilst I tried to become interested in the things she did (because everyone told me I was supposed to like them too, being a girl & all) I found it all very alien and baffling. I was very intimidated by the weird games she liked to play - games which I later learned were perfectly normal for little girls. I felt so out of place because I just didn't get why those games were supposed to be interesting. I'd much rather go exploring with my male friends in the African bush across the road from our house than play dolls with that friend.

My mother made me play with that girl because she wanted me to be more feminine. But it was through studying this girl up close that I first figured out that I wasn't a girl at all. So I chose my avatar because it represents the beginning of my transition: the first moment I knew something wasn't right with my gender.

I cry when I read this.  It epitomizes so many of our lives.  It was told so well.  Even though it brings tears, thank you for sharing.

[Lazarus]

Don't think I post enough to have an avatar yet. What you think? 

[LordKAT]

15 posts for an avatar, You are at 26.

[NathanielM]

It's me! People here give me confidence so I thought why not, no face though because you never now who wanders the interwebs.

[Jaelithe]

If I could put makeup on even half as well as you, I wouldn't have tossed mine in the trash!  You look great.

I got started with a tutorial make over at the MAC store. Since then I've studied the competitors on RuPauls Drag Race and generally gotten tips wherever I could get them.

[FTMDiaries]

I cry when I read this.  It epitomizes so many of our lives.  It was told so well.  Even though it brings tears, thank you for sharing.

Thanks for the kind words.

If there's one thing I've learned from my friends here at Susan's, it is that whilst our lives and experiences may be different, and our triggers may be the exact opposite of each other's at times... one thing almost all of us share is the horrible sense of wrongness that we experience when society tries to force us to conform to the wrong gendered behaviours & expressions. I first felt that at five, which is why I picked this photo. It is an honest representation of how lost and alone I felt before I learned that there were other people like me out there.

[thatboyfresh]

Mines also a selfie.
I hate taking photos even though I have been told that I am photogenic. I guess I just see "all the wrong things" when looking at myself in a picture.
I love this picture though and I use it a lot. All I see is the man that I am on the inside nothing less.

[Erin Kay Howell]

This expressionless selfie was taken at my first attempt to go in publc dressed up (which failed) and is the reason there is no smile lol

Im supposed to try again for more pictures.... probably a few to be taken at the pride parade in austin tx in september.

[SaveMeJeebus]

Mine is me @ 5 years of age, back in 1976 - which is when I first realised I was a boy. I'm dressed in my pink ballet outfit because I took up ballet lessons on the suggestion of a friend (who lived in the house with the red roof you can see in the background). My Mum said I was rubbish at ballet: clomping around the stage with all the natural grace of a carthorse.

We became friends because her mother invited me to her 5th birthday party, and my mother insisted I go because she was worried about the fact that I seemed to gravitate towards playing with boys. I was very nervous about that party: I didn't know how to get along with girls and I far preferred the easy companionship I had with my brother & male friends.

My friendship with that girl was a very interesting - and weird - experience. She was a very 'girly' girl who loved to play social games, and whilst I tried to become interested in the things she did (because everyone told me I was supposed to like them too, being a girl & all) I found it all very alien and baffling. I was very intimidated by the weird games she liked to play - games which I later learned were perfectly normal for little girls. I felt so out of place because I just didn't get why those games were supposed to be interesting. I'd much rather go exploring with my male friends in the African bush across the road from our house than play dolls with that friend.

My mother made me play with that girl because she wanted me to be more feminine. But it was through studying this girl up close that I first figured out that I wasn't a girl at all. So I chose my avatar because it represents the beginning of my transition: the first moment I knew something wasn't right with my gender.

Love the story . I believe I have seen you around, but I passed your avatar off as some random photo from the internet.

This expressionless selfie was taken at my first attempt to go in publc dressed up (which failed) and is the reason there is no smile lol

Im supposed to try again for more pictures.... probably a few to be taken at the pride parade in austin tx in september.

Have you told that tale on here before? Failing to go out in public. Have you tried again since?