Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on October 29, 2013, 10:58:08 PM
I also have a girlfriend right now and I'm not sure how to go about that either 
That's tricky. I hate to say it, but I never told
anyone until very recently. And I knew since I was 4 years old. It's not easy. But since making the firm decision that I am transitioning, I figured the first step is telling friends and family.
The first person I told is my closest female friend. We play in a band together. She's a lesbian, so I figured she might be more accepting than a straight person. I don't think she knew what to say at first. A few days went by, and then she texted me "what is your girl name?" We have been fine ever since. She often calls me Raven now.
Then I told a few friends I have on FaceBook that I don't know in person, but we talk all the time. All of them are female. They were cool too. Then I told my (older) brother, and he and his wife were very supportive.
I've been changing some aspects of my appearance; I plucked my brows, removed body hair, and I have been wearing nail polish. But it's in a kind of glam rock androgynous kind of way. All my clothes are unisex, and mostly black. I'm growing my hair. I was married for 9 years and been divorced about a year. My ex and I are (were?) still friends, and we have an eight year old daughter. So my ex called me the other day and wondered is I was "coming out"... she thought I was gay. So I explained the whole thing, and she was shocked, but surprisingly offered her support. The next day she said she had to take off from work, just to process the news. She went away this weekend, and our daughter was staying with me. The other band I play in played at an annual Halloween party, and that's where my profile picture is from. I decided to wear a Japanese school girl outfit. It surprised everyone, but I got very positive reactions from people, and surprisingly fooled people that I've known for years. It was a real confidence booster! I posted it on Facebook as my profile picture. Why not?
So my ex sees that, and then today she sends me a rather angry sounding email, where she's fairly freaked out by the whole thing and is worried I'm going to traumatize our daughter and wants to get sole custody, etc. I'm trying to explain that I haven't started anything yet, so there's a good 4 or 5 years ahead of me, and our daughter will adjust. But she's not having any of it. That's very disappointing.
Then I told my closest male friend, and he says I should do what I need to be happy and we will always be friends. That made me happy.
So my point in that story was people will react in different ways. Sometimes not so good. I've been lucky so far. I'm sure if I was still married, this would be the end of it. I like girls, but my ex doesn't. I've decided not to pursue any relationships at the moment, since it wouldn't be fair to them. Unless they are bi. But still. My ex is upset that I never told her the truth about myself, and that's the same as a lie to her. Maybe she's right. So my advice is if you are really sure, you need to tell your girlfriend. It probably won't turn out well, but who knows? Everyone is different.
Best of luck to you! I have to say, I wish I had started at your age, but things were very different then. I'll be 60 in 4 years.
I guess that's not too bad, but I wish I had more time.
