starting therapy?

[luca]

hello so recently I started seeing a therapist for the first time and I'm not crazy about him but I also have no idea if the way he's going about things is normal or not because I have no experience with this. so I was wondering if any of you could tell me if these are normal steps during therapy or not and what else I should expect ??

The thing that surprised me the most is that he wants me to do genetic testing to see if I have xy chromosomes instead of xx (or something like that I didn't really even know this was an option) or if there's a hormonal problem like too much estrogen or whatever, because he thinks there's the possibility I have some sort of physical problem "that makes me think I'm a boy when I'm really just a girl with a medical condition." I guess this makes sense, although I didn't even know this was a possibility which might just be because I'm uninformed but ??

He also asked a lot of questions about how I feel about sex and why don't I have it and relationships and why don't I have those and he kept questioning that I'm a boy but I also like boys, and I didn't really see how any of these were related to me being trans but I didn't want to say anything because I figured he knows more about this than me.

So I guess overall I'm not too happy with the way things are going with him but I also don't know if maybe I had too high expectations going into therapy so if anyone can clear things up for me that would be excellent.

[spacerace]

First - are you going to therapy to meet a requirement or to discover how you feel about your gender? If to meet a requirement, have you found a doctor or clinic first and know they have this requirement, or are just you assuming it will be necessary?

The thing that surprised me the most is that he wants me to do genetic testing to see if I have xy chromosomes instead of xx (or something like that I didn't really even know this was an option) or if there's a hormonal problem like too much estrogen or whatever, because he thinks there's the possibility I have some sort of physical problem "that makes me think I'm a boy when I'm really just a girl with a medical condition." I guess this makes sense, although I didn't even know this was a possibility which might just be because I'm uninformed but ??

There is no need to have a genetic test. It will not prove anything. Someone who is intersex can be trans but not every trans person is intersex. There is no physical biological proof that needs to be verified before someone is trans.

He is ignorant. Too much estrogen or too much testosterone never makes a cis person think they are trans.

He also asked a lot of questions about how I feel about sex and why don't I have it and relationships and why don't I have those and he kept questioning that I'm a boy but I also like boys, and I didn't really see how any of these were related to me being trans but I didn't want to say anything because I figured he knows more about this than me.

Therapists used to deny people the right to transition because they were not "straight." Someone may respond and say that the above is just him doing his job and making sure, but it seems more like doubting than questioning.

[aleon515]

I agree.

I have never heard of anybody doing a chromosome test. SOme people may be curious but they are curious at your expense. Funny thing. It isn't chromosomes, but some doctor did an amino acid assay. A pretty odd test actually. Turns out I have a rare genetic inability to handle some amino acid. So I got sent to a geneticist. So they were VERY interested in this and that. And the doctor wanted to do this more advanced test (sounded painful actually). SO I asked "well how would this help my life exactly?" Well exactly not at all, he admitted. If I were an infant they could give me a formula!! So I said good bye and never saw him again. He might have been disappointed. So exactly no way would it help you. Having intersex doesn't prove you are trans and not having it wouldn't either.
And maybe you have some weird XXXXXY or something. Why the heck would it matter?

Blood tests for hormone level won't prove anything. Some doctors do it as a baseline. But I don't think it proves anything. Sounds like if T were high they'd want to lower it first.

I think you need to find someone who knows about transgender.

--Jay

[BrotherBen]

 Personally, as long as it was clear from the start that these tests were  just for the sake of curiosity, I'd be cool with it, but it sounds like this therapist's approval of your transition is contingent on the results, which is entirely wrong-minded. Time to find your next therapist.  Better luck next time!

[aleon515]

Personally, as long as it was clear from the start that these tests were  just for the sake of curiosity, I'd be cool with it, but it sounds like this therapist's approval of your transition is contingent on the results, which is entirely wrong-minded. Time to find your next therapist.  Better luck next time!

Sounds EXPENSIVE for her entertainment though.

--Jay