Long Term Unemployment and Severe Depression/ Suicidal Thoughts.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hang in, LTL.  It will get better. 

[mrs izzy]

Just please step back a second and look at where you are today. Can you honestly say you have not made progress on anything from when you started?


I love everyone of my GID sisters and brothers, my extended family. I wish this world was just a little smaller so i could give real life hugs to all.

Hugs
Izzy

[MadeleineG]

I can't absorb the positive messages as I've tried to improve things in my life and keep failing.

Too bad. I'm going to bombard you with positive messages anyways.

LtL is eloquent, analytical, thoughtful, driven, pugnacious (which is a good thing!), deliberate, critical (which is a very good thing!), playful, and fun. Stop flagellating or I'll carpet-bomb you with more adjectives.

I love everyone of my GID sisters and brothers, my extended family. I wish this world was just a little smaller so i could give real life hugs to all.

I keep thinking how wonderful it would if we all met in real life! There would be many hugs and much love.

Maddy

[JLT1]

A few month's back, we hired a couple of temps.  One had an MS degree and was working constructionwhile the other had a PhD and was waiting tables. I looked at that as a positive and they started in the temp position. Last Friday, we hired them both as regular full-time employees.  It's a start.

[Ltl89]

Thanks everyone.  I'm wondering if this is a chemical reactin because I have been sick and feeling flu like symptoms in addition to the depression and constant crying.  I've been feeling like passing out all day. Maybe this is just a phase of me learning how to deal with the emotions hormones can cause as it was brought on by the unemployment thing.  Now its like a physical sickness along with the depression.  I'm hoping this is all normal.

A few month's back, we hired a couple of temps.  One had an MS degree and was working constructionwhile the other had a PhD and was waiting tables. I looked at that as a positive and they started in the temp position. Last Friday, we hired them both as regular full-time employees.  It's a start.

Thanks.  That makes me feel better to know.

[Jamie D]

LtL is eloquent, analytical, thoughtful, driven, pugnacious (which is a good thing!), deliberate, critical (which is a very good thing!), playful, and fun. Stop flagellating or I'll carpet-bomb you with more adjectives.

Maddy

You left out "sweetheart."      

[TheLance]

It's definitely normal (at least in my world) to become physically sick because of depression, stress, or any other extreme emotions. I get dizzy and nauseous, and I shake a little and feel weak. It's hard to not let this happen. I've actually been feeling like that the past few days...anyway, point is, don't panic, It's normal, just something you have to learn to control.

[Aina]

Thanks everyone.  I'm wondering if this is a chemical reactin because I have been sick and feeling flu like symptoms in addition to the depression and constant crying.  I've been feeling like passing out all day. Maybe this is just a phase of me learning how to deal with the emotions hormones can cause as it was brought on by the unemployment thing.  Now its like a physical sickness along with the depression.  I'm hoping this is all normal.

Thanks.  That makes me feel better to know.

I hope you feel better LtL, all I can say is don't give up - finding a job is really tough. I got a part time graphic design job this summer - this is my first job in years  and I mean years. Last summer was so bad I was mowing yards for my neighbors and off and on through the years I've only had retail jobs that never really last or were just bad.

Just keep sending emails out to places your interested in. My Dad always said "eventually you'll be in the right place at the right time." I am wishing for your success! -hugs-

[Ltl89]

It's definitely normal (at least in my world) to become physically sick because of depression, stress, or any other extreme emotions. I get dizzy and nauseous, and I shake a little and feel weak. It's hard to not let this happen. I've actually been feeling like that the past few days...anyway, point is, don't panic, It's normal, just something you have to learn to control.

I'm hoping you're right.  It would be preferable if there was a more chemical component to this and I just need to learn how to deal with it.  Honestly, I haven't been myself and it's a very weird feeling because it's been a very bad and bizzare reaction.  I've been crying like a crazy person and just losing the will in general. 

Well, I'm off to bed thanks to melatonin.  Hopefully, I will be able to wake up and feel better.

I hope you feel better LtL, all I can say is don't give up - finding a job is really tough. I got a part time graphic design job this summer - this is my first job in years  and I mean years. Last summer was so bad I was mowing yards for my neighbors and off and on through the years I've only had retail jobs that never really last or were just bad.

Just keep sending emails out to places your interested in. My Dad always said "eventually you'll be in the right place at the right time." I am wishing for your success! -hugs-

Thanks.  I hope you are right. 

[Rachel]

Do you think a walk in a park would get you out and about and be uplifting? Perhaps volunteering at a hospital would get you in a work place and make connections even though not collecting a check. If you could volunteer to deliver Hospital Mail you would see so much and be able to make an opportunity.



Examples of a small psychological gifts are:
Pen with your contact info,
Index sized picture  (nature) with contact info,
Cool calendar with your contact info on it,
A recordable greeting card with a thank your for the interview and reinforced desire for the position.

The point is stand out and be noticed as creative, motivated and team oriented.

[Ltl89]

A little update.  I'm feeling a little better today.  I won't say I'm no longer a mess, but a good nights sleep really helped me out.  For example, I haven't felt the need to cry today.  I'm starting to think it is a combination of hormonal influences and my shambled life.  Perhaps I just need to learn how to deal with my issues better know that I have an increased emotional capacity.  Though, the underlining cause is my messed up life, so I am going to have to figure out a way to fix that if I will get better.  Unfortunately, I don't really see a path for that, but I'll keep trying. 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I ran across an interesting article.

Op-ed: What's Wrong With Executive Recruiters?

I met my first out transgender candidate for a corporate position 13 years ago. We had arranged to meet at a coffee shop north of Los Angeles, and I awaited our rendezvous with some trepidation. At precisely 10 a.m. a very tall and stylishly dressed woman arrived for our meeting. Ms. R, as I will call her, would not have passed easily as a woman. She had the broad shoulders and height of an athlete and a resonant voice.

[Jumpingcats]

A little update.  I'm feeling a little better today.  I won't say I'm no longer a mess, but a good nights sleep really helped me out.  For example, I haven't felt the need to cry today.  I'm starting to think it is a combination of hormonal influences and my shambled life.  Perhaps I just need to learn how to deal with my issues better know that I have an increased emotional capacity.  Though, the underlining cause is my messed up life, so I am going to have to figure out a way to fix that if I will get better.  Unfortunately, I don't really see a path for that, but I'll keep trying.

I just noticed this thread and your original post. I've been in a similar boat, pretty much unemployed for a year, pretty sure i've filled out more than a 1000 job applications. I graduated college 6 months ago, started HRT as a gift to myself, then abruptly had to stop because couldn't find employment and lost my housing. A lot of us are in this situation of not enough experience or getting told were to overqualified. It might help to know your not alone and others are having trouble as well. My-self, I've been having trouble with fighting suicidal thoughts as well. I know how you feel. Im currently living in a motel and soon will be in my car. :/



Some tips that have helped me get interviews though:
-When you talk to the company/person in charge of hiring, you'll want to have a "elevator pitch" you can tell them. After I've been applying to businesses, I've been going in and asking for an interview. I've kept going in and following up unless they told me "no were not going to hire you". Thats been getting interviews, and 2nd interviews after that. I've yet to land a job yet , but I keep getting to the third or 2nd stage interview.

I saw a work shop actually a few days ago on interviewing and job resumes, maybe this will help:
For example:
-I worked three years in customer service and a cashier building relationships with clients helping to increase the companies profits.
-Business Administration degree that taught me Accounting and past work experience helping complete payroll and helping company process time cards.
-etc

Use bulleted points that show your experience and how it benefited previous companies you worked for. You'll want to do that in your cover letter and resume. You'll want to get their attention and be able to convey that what you can offer is something they are looking for.

During the interview, you'll want to keep a short response that answers the question, and finish each answer with something you learned during the experience you told them about. Do not blab on and on making them bored, keep each response short.

[Taka]

I'm hoping you're right.  It would be preferable if there was a more chemical component to this and I just need to learn how to deal with it.  Honestly, I haven't been myself and it's a very weird feeling because it's been a very bad and bizzare reaction.  I've been crying like a crazy person and just losing the will in general. 

Well, I'm off to bed thanks to melatonin.  Hopefully, I will be able to wake up and feel better.

Thanks.  I hope you are right. 

A little update.  I'm feeling a little better today.  I won't say I'm no longer a mess, but a good nights sleep really helped me out.  For example, I haven't felt the need to cry today.  I'm starting to think it is a combination of hormonal influences and my shambled life.  Perhaps I just need to learn how to deal with my issues better know that I have an increased emotional capacity.  Though, the underlining cause is my messed up life, so I am going to have to figure out a way to fix that if I will get better.  Unfortunately, I don't really see a path for that, but I'll keep trying. 

there is a chemical component to this. the reason you feel fatigued, can't sleep even though you're supposed to be tired enough, nauseous, feeling of impending doom, uselessness, inability to stop the thoughts that are bothering you, don't feel like eating etc. all these are caused by chemicals that the brain releases, mostly due to stress. it's supposed to make you more alert to possible dangers, but since threats don't work the same way in modern times as at the beginning of humanity, we end up in an evil spiral where stress makes you overestimate the threat, adding to the stress, feeling the threat even more, and in the end, lose control over it.

and the only way to fight it is to do the opposite of what your brain tells you. get enough sleep, eat enough food, stay away from sugar and caffeine, get some fresh air and move your body a little around midday and before you go to bed. laugh. cry your heart out (but only for a limited time). stress hormones are evil, and can mess up your other hormones, the physical changes can help you get enough peace for a moment that you can relax enough to get rid of some of them. makes it a little easier to think constructively.

not that i'm good at following this advice myself, but i've managed to get good enough that i at least eat every day. it took me over a year to get that far after finally getting a job. if i can get a healthy sleep schedule as well, i might finally be able to deal with my anxiety, the one that can get so bad that i drive myself into a suicidal corner. (i'd never act on it, but the feeling is still worse than just a little unpleasant)

i have also noticed that my anxiety increases after the full moon. it stabilizes after a few days, and then i become rather acid in the last few days before the new moon. after that i can relax a little more for a half moon before it starts again. finding any kind of regularity in mood swings can help you handle them better. it's good to be able to tell myself that today is just a very bad day, so i should avoid saying or thinking too much, and try again tomorrow. i can't control my emotions, but i can control my actions to some degree, and on certain days it's better to withdraw when the facade starts to crumble.

as for the unemployment thing, it has nothing to do with your worth as a human being. this is one of the most unfair things ever, most employers would choose someone they know over someone they've never seen before. the right contacts matter so much that i want to curse and scream and tell people to go f[better censor this one]s. a good education can be useless, some times it can even work against you (i do know of a few cases). i never found a job in the city, it was impossible as a single mother with a young child. so i moved back home, to the rural parts where there were no more jobs than in a city, but after a year of unemployment and increasing depression, one of my qualifications was suddenly needed right here. after getting that job, not through applying, but talking to the right people, they started headhunting me (for temporary work, but still...) hopefully i can make this one at the local government permanent. hopefully you'll happen to get along with the right people so you can find something permanent.

here in norway, they tell job searchers to call the workplace and ask relevant questions about the job before sending an application. show interest, let them know that you understand what kind of job it is, give them a nice a voice to remember, and refer to the conversation in the application letter. the chances of getting a job are often higher that way.

_________________________________________

and while waiting for a miracle...
hang in there. it's ok to be weak. me and you are both only human. there is only so much we can do, and so much we can handle.
life is tough, but we can beat it by surviving one day at a time.
worrying about tomorrow is pointless, let it worry about itself while you handle today (this one's not easy though, i fail constantly).
if you feel like pouring some of your burden onto someone else, i'm only a pm and a few time zones away. the burden gets lighter by sharing it, don't wait with doing that if you feel too weak on your own (this is also one where i fail, but... i'll still say it, the offer is genuine, my intent is pure. really.)

love from yet another failure and fraud.

[DEANA]

When you are in between jobs it's a good idea to do some volunteer work to help fill in the period between jobs. That way it proves to your potential employer that you"re not sitting on your hands, while unemployed.

[Taka]

volunteer work, where that is possible, might also be a good way to raise your self esteem. just a simple "thank you" can work wonders when you're feeling down, makes the light in the end of the tunnel shine a little brighter. if you're lucky you might even meet people who understand some of your worries and will support you the best they can.

[Ltl89]

Thanks everyone for your input.  I've tried most getting hired methods.  I don't think it's what I'm doing wrong.  I think it has more to do with me and my luck.  I suppose I shouldn't be too upset as unemployment is not great in NY as of now.  So perhaps I should count my blessing that I have a temp job coming and will be up for consider for two different potential jobs in the next two months.

I've done lots of volunteer work in the past.  I sort of live for others and give everything that I can.  But at a certain point, it's upsetting that everyone else can find a way to get compensated for their labor, and I have to give without any return.  I guess I have become more callous from my past work.   It's all about who is friends with who and not about what you can get done and what you know.  Sort of sad that patronage is still part of the system and those who play politics the best are those who get moved up.  Well, it's apparent I choose the wrong field since I'm now complaining about politics,lol. 

[Taka]

make it a goal to find a job somewhere you can try and change the system from within? i got that kind of job just two months ago, and i'm going to use it for all that it's worth.

of course it's upsetting not to get anything for all the work that you do. a little bit like housewives never getting any pay for practically running a 24/7 kindergarden... no wonder the ones who work get mad if their husband refuses to do his share of the chores. better tell this unfair life that you'll beat it and become the happiest person ever. spoken word has a tendency to become reality even when you don't mean it, so make sure you never say anything about giving up at least. you may tell us, but do knock on wood if you happen to say it out loud in the wrong place. (i'm of the opinion that some superstition is just healthy. anything that can make life more interesting is good to me...)

[Ltl89]

Update: good and bad. 

Good-  I feel a lot better emotionally today.  I think the hormones are making me feel things I never had to experience before.  I suppose it is a learning experience that I will need to adjust to.  And I'm on a slightly better footing with my family, so that makes me happy.  So things are drastically better than they were this weekend.

Bad.  Well, I got another rejection letter today.  I was sort of expecting it, but yet it never feels good.  I still have two opportunities that may come through and I'm waiting to hear more about the temp position.  So I'm keeping my hopes up.

Bad.  I kept on reading news today suggesting that Larry Summers will likely be the next chairman of the Federal Reserve which confirms that this isn't a simple reoccurring nightmare.  This, of course, diminished my emotional improvements for today,lol.      Just a joke everyone, calm down.   

[Ltl89]

I should also note the point of this thread wasn't to pain a glossy picture.  It was to share the hardships of my life.  They may be lesser than someone else's, but they are real hardships to me.  Otherwise, I wouldn't write an honest thread about my suicidal feelings.  I don't know everyone else's situation, so perhaps it's wrong for me to write that disclaimer, but try to understand why it's there.  So please try to give me the benefit of the doubt.  I'm aware others are struggling with depression and suicidal feelings and would never belittle what they go through.