HELP! I Can't Handle My Trans Truth!

[FreshGuy]

How do you expect us to help you? How do you WANT us to help you?

I want to handle my trans truth, I want help handling my trans truth. I need to learn how to handle my trans truth. I thought the other t-girls and t-boys and others could help me.

[Lo]

That's a very tall order for a forum full of people who don't know you and who aren't gender therapists.

If you're expecting more than what folks have already tried, then you're out of luck. It seems like there's been a dozen times where someone has said something to comfort you only to have you come back yelling for help again 5 minutes later.

Like someone else said, we can't help you unless you want to be helped. you need to do the work of accepting yourself. None of us can do that for you.

[Shodan]

I want to handle my trans truth, I want help handling my trans truth. I need to learn how to handle my trans truth. I thought the other t-girls and t-boys and others could help me.

And we're telling you how to handle it, to be honest. See a therapist. Look, I know it's scary, but, honestly, it's the best thing to do. The only thing we can do is give you comfort and anecdotal help, where as a trained and credentialed therapist can help you work through your issues, both trans and non-trans. Additionally, if you decide that you want to HRT, you're going to need to see a Therapist anyway to get the letter for your endo.

[FreshGuy]

And we're telling you how to handle it, to be honest. See a therapist. Look, I know it's scary, but, honestly, it's the best thing to do. The only thing we can do is give you comfort and anecdotal help, where as a trained and credentialed therapist can help you work through your issues, both trans and non-trans. Additionally, if you decide that you want to HRT, you're going to need to see a Therapist anyway to get the letter for your endo.

Can you point me towards the post telling me how to handle it? ta.

[FreshGuy]

That's a very tall order for a forum full of people who don't know you and who aren't gender therapists.

If you're expecting more than what folks have already tried, then you're out of luck. It seems like there's been a dozen times where someone has said something to comfort you only to have you come back yelling for help again 5 minutes later.

Like someone else said, we can't help you unless you want to be helped. you need to do the work of accepting yourself. None of us can do that for you.

It's not really a tall order, it is a simple request. If all of you can handle your trans truth then why can't I?

I dunno how to do it. I admit I am a mtf transsexual, there I said it, now what?

[Danielle Emmalee]

It's not really a tall order, it is a simple request. If all of you can handle your trans truth then why can't I?

I dunno how to do it. I admit I am a mtf transsexual, there I said it, now what?

First you have to face your trans ignorance before you can face your trans truth.  Are you ready to do that?

[FreshGuy]

First you have to face your trans ignorance before you can face your trans truth.  Are you ready to do that?

Yes I am, how do I do that? Thank you for finally giving me some advice I can use.

[Danielle Emmalee]

Yes I am, how do I do that? Thank you for finally giving me some advice I can use.

Ok what does transsexual mean to you?

[FreshGuy]

Ok what does transsexual mean to you?

a person who undergoes surgeries to become the gender that they truly are (they don't always have surgery but they usually do) it is an identification label who people who want to go from one gender to another, it is sometimes done to relieve discomfort, in other cases there is less dysphoria. some people know they are a girl (if they are born male) when they are kids but other people don't have their transsexuality triggered until later in life.

[Danielle Emmalee]

a person who undergoes surgeries to become the gender that they truly are (they don't always have surgery but they usually do) it is an identification label who people who want to go from one gender to another, it is sometimes done to relieve discomfort, in other cases there is less dysphoria. some people know they are a girl (if they are born male) when they are kids but other people don't have their transsexuality triggered until later in life.

Ok good, that's a definition.  Now what does it mean to you personally?

[FreshGuy]

Ok good, that's a definition.  Now what does it mean to you personally?

It means that I am a transsexual and I will have to change my body and get rid of my penis and live as a woman in the future.

When I was at work today I kept on getting images of darts going through the skin connecting the head of my penis to the rest of it, the thoughts are horrible. I dunno why I keep getting them

[Danielle Emmalee]

It means that I am a transsexual and I will have to change my body and get rid of my penis and live as a woman in the future.

When I was at work today I kept on getting images of darts going through the skin connecting the head of my penis to the rest of it, the thoughts are horrible. I dunno why I keep getting them

No, no, no, you misunderstood the question, I didn't mean what does it mean you will have to do.  I mean what makes YOU a transsexual.

[FreshGuy]

No, no, no, you misunderstood the question, I didn't mean what does it mean you will have to do.  I mean what makes YOU a transsexual.

I was born with it in my brain

[Danielle Emmalee]

I was born with it in my brain

How do you define transsexual for yourself?  What about your thoughts makes you feel you are transsexual?  Why does your brain come to the conclusion that you are transsexual?

[Ltl89]

I understand where you are coming from.  When I finally stopped denying that I was trans, I went crazy to from not understanding how to accept it.  I really feel for you.  However, there are no magic words.  Believe me, I would have found them in the past if there were.  All you can do is work on yourself and try to accept you for who you are.  That takes a lot of effort and introspection.  I realize you are afraid, but having a therapist to help you sort these emotions out CAN help.  You need to accept this for yourself.  There is nothing we can do to make that happen other than offer encouraging words or share our experiences.  The acceptance has to come from you which is an internal battle that will require some work.  I myself am still working on embracing the difficult dealing with fear and other issues.

Hang in there.  I really wish I could say something and make you accept or handle these emotions.  All I can tell you is that many have been there and have come out of this phase successfully. 

[FreshGuy]

How do you define transsexual for yourself?  What about your thoughts makes you feel you are transsexual?  Why does your brain come to the conclusion that you are transsexual?

Well I have thoughts that say "I am a transsexual" and things like that. I also get images of my penis damaged sometimes, these thoughts are horrid. I have described them in previous posts. I have always been into feminine things and I get on better with girls (for the most part) especially bubbly girls but I have had male friends too

I am quite feminine in many ways

I am likely to be in denial about my trans-ness (lack of a better word lol)

My brain comes to the conclusion I am cos I am.

It was triggered after an event where I dressed up as Sporty Spice from the Spice Girls. I started to worry I was transsexual about a week later, although I did have anxiety in my first year of uni when I read about a disease that makes men randomly chop off their penis but I forgot about it and then remembered it after a few months. Maybe this was prominent as an anxiety point due to my transsexuality.

Edit: I don't really want to start learning more female mannerisms and stuff so I guess I could be a manly woman.

[FreshGuy]

I understand where you are coming from.  When I finally stopped denying that I was trans, I went crazy to from not understanding how to accept it.  I really feel for you.  However, there are no magic words.  Believe me, I would have found them in the past if there were.  All you can do is work on yourself and try to accept you for who you are.  That takes a lot of effort and introspection.  I realize you are afraid, but having a therapist to help you sort these emotions out CAN help.  You need to accept this for yourself.  There is nothing we can do to make that happen other than offer encouraging words or share our experiences.  The acceptance has to come from you which is an internal battle that will require some work.  I myself am still working on embracing the difficult dealing with fear and other issues.

Hang in there.  I really wish I could say something and make you accept or handle these emotions.  All I can tell you is that many have been there and have come out of this phase successfully.

Ok I see, thank you for your help

[Danielle Emmalee]

Well I have thoughts that say "I am a transsexual" and things like that. I also get images of my penis damaged sometimes, these thoughts are horrid. I have described them in previous posts. I have always been into feminine things and I get on better with girls (for the most part) especially bubbly girls but I have had male friends too

I am quite feminine in many ways

I am likely to be in denial about my trans-ness (lack of a better word lol)

My brain comes to the conclusion I am cos I am.

It was triggered after an event where I dressed up as Sporty Spice from the Spice Girls. I started to worry I was transsexual about a week later, although I did have anxiety in my first year of uni when I read about a disease that makes men randomly chop off their penis but I forgot about it and then remembered it after a few months. Maybe this was prominent as an anxiety point due to my transsexuality.

Ok, lets straighten this all out. You're feminine, you have intrusive thoughts about genitals being damaged, and you get along with girls.  You like having a male body, you like having a penis, you don't want to lose it.  You have dressed up as a girl but you're not sure if you liked it but mostly you didn't.  You like presenting as male.  You like being referred to as male.  Yet somehow through all of that, you came to the conclusion that you are transsexual.  Am I on the right track here?

[kelly_aus]

No, no, no, you misunderstood the question, I didn't mean what does it mean you will have to do.  I mean what makes YOU a transsexual.

I'm going to answer this, just for interests sake. I'm transsexual because my heart, mind and soul tells me I'm a woman - just my body seems to disagree.

And FreshGuy, I never wanted to be trans.. I never wanted to transition - never even planned on it. But I did transition, in the end. And I'm glad I did, I've gotten to a point where I'm happy with my life and happy with myself.

But getting to this point has taken a lot of work, including some very heavy work with my therapist.. It's also required that I accept 100% that I am a woman.

[FreshGuy]

Ok, lets straighten this all out. You're feminine, you have intrusive thoughts about genitals being damaged, and you get along with girls.  You like having a male body, you like having a penis, you don't want to lose it.  You have dressed up as a girl but you're not sure if you liked it but mostly you didn't.  You like presenting as male.  You like being referred to as male.  Yet somehow through all of that, you came to the conclusion that you are transsexual.  Am I on the right track here?

Yeah I will dissect your points.

You're feminine Yeah I am in some ways

you have intrusive thoughts about genitals being damaged Yeah I think they are intrusive thoughts and they are horrible but maybe they are secretly my wishes ? the thoughts do scare me though.

ou get along with girls correct

You like having a male body, you like having a penis, you don't want to lose it. I could be in denial about liking those things. Now I just don't know anymore. Maybe I am just in denial and I think I like it but I don't

you have dressed up as a girl but you're not sure if you liked it but mostly you didn't mmhmm but being a transsexual is about more than just clothes

You like presenting as male.  You like being referred to as male yeah I don't really have issues with those things

yet somehow through all of that, you came to the conclusion that you are transsexual.  Am I on the right track here? yes