lately I've been in this state of mind where i am worrying about everything it seems. im in this foggy mindset, i can't seem to get around it. I started university last week as a freshman and i just feel overwhelmed. the amount of will i need to be successful here is daunting, and what makes it worse isi need a certain gpa to keep my scholarship to go here and i don't even know what kinds of questions to ask my professors to get myself out.
i am majoring in music, and right now i don't know a lot about music, my high school music teacher never taught me anything about theory or history. and now im stuck in these classes where i feel like everyone already knows what's going on. and it stresses me out even more.
i was recently victim of fraud, and only now am i starting to see some of the money i lost come back. and that won't be till monday or friday, and i need that money to buy my parking pass for university, which is 280 dollars and i keep asking my dad for money but i know he can't just keep forking money into my account and it makes me feel guilty and the amount of crap piling up in my life i feel like im drowning.
i keep telling myself I'll be fine but it hardly helps i can't shake it and i am just questioning everything about my life and i am going to explode i know it. this alone doesn't even cover what im stressing about as far as gender, heck that's even been put on the back burner, i don't have time to stress about that too.
im trying to stay focused but im just in this fog, and i can't get out. i can't make progress, and the only relief i get is when i sleep. im young and i should be enjoying myself like the other kids but i just can't see how i can right now...
