'Guy Talk' - A Heightened Sensitivity? Or WHAT?

[rhonda13000]

Perhaps; self-realization and transition has significantly altered many perceptions.

But, I have always loathed that kind of puerile, sexist dialog; I received a heavy dose of it, yesterday.

That is the first time in which I have been subjected to a heavy concentration of such, since I began the journey toward life.

I found it.....I don't know. It constituted a psycho-emotional assault, but not traumatically so and the character of the reaction was...odd.

It was strange and I thought to myself, "If you guys only knew...."

I don't know. The perception was not that of outrage, but of contemplation, but not solely and exclusively, for I did feel assaulted.

How so very odd that was.

The thing too is, that I care about these guys.

[Seshatneferw]

I've also noticed the same thing once or twice. I don't think it's really heightened perception as such -- that sort of thing has been a little uncomfortable about as long as I can remember. My guess is it's more a matter of having a new perspective: you don't see yourself as a guy who doesn't like that sort of chatting, but instead you are now a girl spying on the same. There's no longer a need to reject it in the 'but  I don't want to be included in this fraternity' sense; instead, it's possible to treat it as 'boys  '.

  Nfr

[Natalie_Danielle]

I know exactly what you mean.  For the last several days I've been working in a VERY industrial environment.  This is far removed from my normal job duties behind my keyboard.
I've always disliked the crude testosterone filled language/actions when a bunch of guys get together, but WOW, I wasn't prepared for what I have seen and heard.
It really doesn't offend me, but I just can't see what makes them tick. Why does one need to talk and act that way. So, I just tend to ignore them. Perhaps if I don't acknowledge their existence when they act like cavemen, they won't try to include me. So far it appears to be working.


I too had the "if you only knew" thought.

[Pica Pica]

i work as a waitress, and the interplay between male porters and female waitresses is incredible. really opens my eyes.

[rhonda13000]

I know exactly what you mean.  For the last several days I've been working in a VERY industrial environment.  This is far removed from my normal job duties behind my keyboard.
I've always disliked the crude testosterone filled language/actions when a bunch of guys get together, but WOW, I wasn't prepared for what I have seen and heard.
It really doesn't offend me, but I just can't see what makes them tick. Why does one need to talk and act that way. So, I just tend to ignore them. Perhaps if I don't acknowledge their existence when they act like cavemen, they won't try to include me. So far it appears to be working.


I too had the "if you only knew" thought.

There is much resonance felt, relative to the replies posted.

What really sort of fumes me, is when some guy says to me in effect,

"I've had some [women] bad lovers and some great ones in bed and I'll bet that you have too."

This is usually accompanied by the 'fraternal grin'. 

In semi-amusement, semi-disgust I say to myself,

"Yes, I know what you mean, but not in the sense that you are thinking of. If you only knew. Methinks that you would be in shock."

I remember one dialog amongst several where they were talking about another girl's breasts. Again I said to myself,

"Please. I'll show you some breasts and you'll need to pick your eyes back up off of the floor, afterward."

It's not like I am going to get vociferous or 'militant' about this; I've heard such conversation many times before.

I would agree that the difference was not so much a change in intensity of the perception, but rather a change in perspective.

I am not subjected to a steady dose of such talk; it's no real problem. But it was interesting to view it from a different perspective.

[Hazumu]

I always loathed that kind of talk, but I learned/knew what was good for me and ignored or went along   But I always wondered why guys thought that way and I didn't.

Somewhere I saw it mentioned that guys compartmentalize -- especially sex.  They essentially see women as a collection of parts, which is why you have leg men and [insert crude name of body part] men.  I don't have to tell you what's said if you've spent any time in hypermasculinized environments...

I would say rather than heightened sensitivity, you're experiencing a displacement of your point-of-view.  Maybe you're seeing an uglier side of it.

Eventually, as they start seeing you as female (or super-effeminate -- whatever they conjure up as a comfort-buffer for their unease,) they will be less likely to say those things around you or to you.

my two cents

Karen

[rhonda13000]

I would say rather than heightened sensitivity, you're experiencing a displacement of your point-of-view.  Maybe you're seeing an uglier side of it.

I find the way that you phrased that to be interesting.

I'm pretty certain that they whom I work with are possibly at once, confused, quite 'off-balance' and perhaps in denial to whatever degree. This is stated here purely from an analytical and dispassionate perspective, void of amusement.

I think that I have them very confused and it's very likely advantageous at this point in time, that this is the case.

Much has changed with me, but I am still me, if you understand my meaning.

The time will come and it is not prudent to push the boundaries assertively or aggressively, as far as presentation.

I think that my 'secret' is out, relative to the results of the BA and I have noticed myself overcompensating 'slightly' with this awareness, but not to the degree where I would also engage in 'guy talk'.

I never would anyway even before beginning transition and this was commonly known to be characteristic of me.

While this 'discourse' was flowing, I continued to study; it is known and accepted that I will not engage in such.

I don't find it so much offensive, as I do nauseating and puerile.

[Mattie]

I know the talk well having lived on a guys floor in the college dorms.  I had no desire to engage in that sort of conversation.  It was worse when I worked construction.  I couldn't believe the mouths on some of these guys!  I just remember thinking there's no reason to speak that way.  But when you're on the job site, I guess you can talk how you want because there's no one else around to hear.

I agree that the conversations aren't offensive as much as just unnecessary. 

[Barbara Ann]

Everytime that I'm in one of those "man-talk" situations, I think to myself, "If you guys only knew ...." Alot of times, I feel like a "gender spy."
The name's Barb --- Barbara Ann