dentist

[spacerace]

I went to the dentist yesterday, and after I got my teeth cleaned, they had the dentist come and do his exam. The practice is a father and son, and normally I always see the son. He was not there this time, so I had to talk to the father who is probably in his late 60s early 70s.

As he had not yet seen my chart when I met him, he spoke to me like I was a teenage boy at first (word choice and tone), as most older people see me which is always awkward. Then he looked at my x-rays, and it was obvious then I was older and had the F on my chart, so he changed his opinion quickly and it was almost like he was disgusted and could not get out of there quick enough. It was really clear that he was uncomfortable - and he probably just thought he was dealing with a butch lesbian at that.

Really just venting about this, and a lot of it may have been in my head - but I really like my dentist (the son) and feel like I will probably have to switch to avoid the gender change confrontation, and that sucks.

Did anybody else have to switch a dentist or another doctor to avoid these kind of problems?

[aleon515]

I had an amazing experience. I went in and just told them I was trans, to call me Jay and so on. They were so amazing that NO ONE in the whole office misgendered me even though I wasn't passing most of the time then. Teh dentist called me "buddy" etc. I don't know if he has someone trans in his family. But I was pretty impressed.

--Jay

[Jack_M]

Unfortunately there are going to be the people who don't handle it well.  I went in to get blood taken yesterday and the staff were great.  They normally call out first names on the forms (my name change is in the works so not finalised for medical forms yet) and instead they called out my surname - thankfully I have a fairly unique surname.  I really appreciated that because my female name is extremely feminine and I hate it!  But then at my GP there's one receptionist that couldn't care less and makes a thing of calling my first name and even if I hop to it straight away, they say it again and I can feel the eyes on me.  Thankfully my GP is on a street that has nothing but rainbow flags everywhere so no one really cares, but it does really annoy me and I can't wait to get my care card changed so she has to call me the right name.  The GP there is awesome though so I wouldn't change because of one receptionist.

Sometimes it's best to focus on the positive.  I have two people in my life who are in their 50s and have been absolutely fantastic about everything.  They've been both accepting as well as almost taking me under their wing knowing that my father (who's roughly the same age as them both) doesn't accept it.  They've seen a hole in my life and they're making themselves available in his absence and I couldn't appreciate it more.  So for every bad reaction I just think of the two people who actually mean anything to me and my life who have been just fantastic.  That guy is just a dentist, and at that, he's not your usual dentist.  Whatever he thinks, let him think it.  It's not worth the time or energy to care about what he thinks.  Far easier said than done, trust me, I know, but for now, if I were you, I'd take a nice deep breath and think about all the positive people in my life.  All the people I maybe misjudged with regards to how they'd react.  All the people who've gone out of their way to support me, and let their faces and actions squash the reactions of each negative reaction.  I can only hope you have enough positive to squash that reaction.  Just focus on some of us helping to squash him if it helps!

[aleon515]

I have to agree with Jack. There are goign to be people that just don't get it and don't care to. Most of my experiences have been relatively good, despite my age. But there have been some pretty bad exceptions.


--Jay