Same here, I would speak my mind about whatever topic someone wants to talk about, but just was not able to come out to anyone. Not sure how you'd go about alert people without saying anything yourself, I think you'd have to do something blatantly obvious - whether or not someone they know being secretly trans is not really something that would ever cross peoples minds (even though it's probably constantly going through yours), would people you know not appreciate you just being straight (so to speak!) with them?
Eventually I sat down with my best friend after running out of work early because things were getting too tough to deal with. Basically ended up just breaking down in tears when I told her how I felt. Afterwards I got some massive hugs and plenty of pink wine while we chatted about things, I felt so relived and better with myself.
Slowly told my close friends and got awesome responses and lots of hugs from everyone, even people I thought would be a bit weird. One housemate didn't believe me at first (thought I was kidding and took the piss in a playful banter...tears ensued! Though after a couple of minutes when she realised I wasn't pulling a prank on her she said sorry and gave me a big hug (I think the "curling up into the fetal position crying" thing kinda gave it away that this was the real deal. Then she got angry but only because loads of her old clothes fit me a lot better than her!
One of my brothers sent me a supporting message from him and his wife as soon as they found out, but I other brother hasn't contacted me and GF has defriended me on facebook, but 2 people being off out of everyone I know is a good result I would say! There are even people that I've not seen for a few years sending congratulations and virtual hugs via FB.
Depending on your friends/family/colleagues it could be rather painless, some of the tales that I've online really frightened me into a worst case scenario headspace, when in fact it wasn't that bad after the first conversation. However coming out isn't a one size fits all scenario, it's very dependant on the other people in your life and when/how you come out is something that only you can figure out.
