Are we the tip of the iceberg?

[Marissa]

I was just thinking about how hard it is to come out as TG, even to yourself!  I know I spent years and years in denial, trying to hide what I am from the world and at times, even from myself, and it got me wondering how many people out there are doing the same thing?  I have a feeling that for each of us who acknowledge that we are transgender, there must be some, maybe many, who are in denial or hiding.

The world in making progress, and I see many young people transitioning earlier and earlier, which is great!  To stop your body taking you through puberty as the wrong sex? Nice bullet-time move!  When I was a kid I got beat up all the time just for being feminine by kids who wanted to 'help me' toughen up.  I'm not sure what would have happened if I went to school in a dress. 

Getting off topic, though.  What do you think the ratio is of how many are hiding for each of us who is out (to at least ourselves)? 5? 50? 500?  I honestly have no clue, but curious what people think.

[Devlyn]

Totally off topic, but we had an article posted on the site awhile back about what not to say, and I had to hold up my hand and plead guilty to using "transgendered"

The article pointed out that you wouldn't call Barack Obama "blacked" and you wouldn't call Vladimir Putin "russianed"

Just saying. Hugs, Devlyn

[Danielle Emmalee]

You wouldn't call Vladimir Putin "russianed"

I would

Back on topic.  I think if I had to guess, I'd say 32:1.

[Beth Andrea]

Totally off topic, but we had an article posted on the site awhile back about what not to say, and I had to hold up my hand and plead guilty to using "transgendered"

The article pointed out that you wouldn't call Barack Obama "blacked" and you wouldn't call Vladimir Putin "russianed"

Just saying. Hugs, Devlyn

But one would say the US has been "Obama'd", and Russia has been "Putin'd." 

OP: Yes, I think we are the beginning. I'd say there are a LOT of transgendered people out there, more proportionately than TS people...if there's 100 to 1 TG (non-TS), there's maybe 10-1 TS. Of course, I am sure I am wrong entirely.

[Danielle Emmalee]

Of course, I am sure I am wrong entirely.

Part of becoming a true Canadian Beth.

[Devlyn]

I think you two are just picking a fighted with me! 

[Danielle Emmalee]

I think you two are just picking a fighted with me! 

I would be so happy if I knew that "fighted" was not on purpose.  Sorry I'm going off topic here lol.

[Marissa]

Totally off topic, but we had an article posted on the site awhile back about what not to say, and I had to hold up my hand and plead guilty to using "transgendered"

The article pointed out that you wouldn't call Barack Obama "blacked" and you wouldn't call Vladimir Putin "russianed"

Just saying. Hugs, Devlyn

The sad thing is that I know that and I usually don't use the 'ed' but it slipped through that time.  Oops!

Thanks for catching it.  Guess I'll go edit it and make your reply make no sense. muahahahaha!

hugs,
Marissa

[aleon515]

The guy head of the trans center here thinks the no. of trans people is something like 1 out of 230. I am not sure what he is going by, but he does include everyone and not just people who we might more traditionally think of as trans. But people who are gender nonconforming in many respects and children who might not continue to be gender nonconforming as they age.
So if that is even anywhere close to being true then we are definitely the tip fo the iceberg. I hate transgendered hurts my ears.

--Jay

[Devlyn]

The sad thing is that I know that and I usually don't use the 'ed' but it slipped through that time.  Oops!

Thanks for catching it.  Guess I'll go edit it and make your reply make no sense. muahahahaha!

hugs,
Marissa

Look everyone, you can tell she's a new member because she thinks you have to do something for my posts to make no sense! 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Aina]

Marissa, I am not sure about the whole iceberg thing- I know that is were I am at is this never ending circle. Today I feel more transgender then I did yesterday. The thing that gets me is when I think of it and list my reasons out in my head I for awhile solidify I am transgender. Yet the next day that feeling goes away, and even when it goes away I find myself practicing my voice, then I wonder why I am practicing and I come full circle.

I don't think it is a easy thing for people to come to terms with.

I think I am rambling sorry!

[Beth Andrea]

Part of becoming a true Canadian Beth.

[Marissa]

Marissa, I am not sure about the whole iceberg thing- I know that is were I am at is this never ending circle. Today I feel more transgender then I did yesterday. The thing that gets me is when I think of it and list my reasons out in my head I for awhile solidify I am transgender. Yet the next day that feeling goes away, and even when it goes away I find myself practicing my voice, then I wonder why I am practicing and I come full circle.

I don't think it is a easy thing for people to come to terms with.

I think I am rambling sorry!

Don't be sorry, by  all means, ramble on!

I understand what you mean; it is incredibly difficult to come to terms with.  I wasted decades turning circles and while I have no doubt now that I am TG, I don't know if I'll ever be confident.  I just know I need to keep moving forward to survive...OMG maybe I'm a shark!

[Taka]

Don't be sorry, by  all means, ramble on!

I understand what you mean; it is incredibly difficult to come to terms with.  I wasted decades turning circles and while I have no doubt now that I am TG, I don't know if I'll ever be confident.  I just know I need to keep moving forward to survive...OMG maybe I'm a shark!

that would explain all the transphobia... most sharks don't eat people, but too many weird movies have convinced people otherwise.

[MaryXYX]

I tend to use transgender - I don't think I've heard transgendered.  What's the difference between transgender and transsexual?  Some people use transgender to mean pre-op and transsexual to mean post-op.  Some people just seem embarrassed to pronounce the word "sex" at all.  When I was at school nouns had masculine or feminine (or neuter) gender and birds and animals had male of female sex.  These days it seems we have to have masculine or feminine gender as if we were just words and not people.

Actually I prefer just to be a woman.  If it's relevant, like here, I'm a t-woman.  Most of the time it isn't.

[Marissa]

that would explain all the transphobia... most sharks don't eat people, but too many weird movies have convinced people otherwise.

Actually, my joke was accidentally perpetuating a myth about sharks.  My understanding is that some of them (like nurse sharks) are fine staying still.  I think some of them need to keep moving to keep water moving across their gills but I haven't studied marine biology or anything so that just falls under the heading of 'stuff I've heard.'

[Marissa]

I tend to use transgender - I don't think I've heard transgendered.  What's the difference between transgender and transsexual?  Some people use transgender to mean pre-op and transsexual to mean post-op.  Some people just seem embarrassed to pronounce the word "sex" at all.  When I was at school nouns had masculine or feminine (or neuter) gender and birds and animals had male of female sex.  These days it seems we have to have masculine or feminine gender as if we were just words and not people.

Actually I prefer just to be a woman.  If it's relevant, like here, I'm a t-woman.  Most of the time it isn't.

The wiki page for 'Transgender' has a pretty good explanation I think of the terms but of course it's all open to individual interpretation.  Here's an excerpt from it:

Distinguishing transgender from transsexuality

Transsexual was defined by Harry Benjamin in his seminal book The Transsexual Phenomenon.[16] Benjamin invented a classification system for transsexuals and ->-bleeped-<-s; he called his system the Sex Orientation Scale (SOS). In the SOS, Benjamin assigns transsexuals and ->-bleeped-<-s to one of six categories based on their reasons for crossdressing, and the relative urgency of their need (if any) for sex reassignment surgery.[16] Many transsexuals believe that to be a true transsexual, a person needs to have a desire for surgery.[17] However, it is notable that Benjamin's moderate intensity "true transsexual" needs either estrogen or testosterone as a "substitute for or preliminary to operation."[16] There are also people who have had sexual reassignment surgery (SRS), but do not meet the definition of a transsexual,[18][19] while other people do not desire SRS, yet clearly meet Benjamin Scale definition of a "true transsexual", such as Miriam Rivera.

In addition to the larger categories of transgender and transsexual, there is a wide range of gender expressions and identities which are contrary to the mainstream male-female binary. These include cross dressers, drag queens, drag kings, ->-bleeped-<-s, genderqueer, etc.

Well, that's  just 1 definition.  A lot of people use 'transgender' as an umbrella term to describe everyone who doesn't adhere to a traditional gender binary defined by your birth gender.  The issue with transgendered vs. transgender is that the former makes us sound like we've been victimized and the latter is just who/what we are.  That's why I usually avoid the 'ed.'

[MaryXYX]

I'm fine with "transgender" meaning a wide spectrum, and "transsexual" meaning someone who has at least an intention of making physical changes.  That seems a common usage.  I'm on hormones and planning surgery but I prefer TG.

[Kia]

I always say trans*, with the asterisk, since it is meant to include people who identify as transgender, transsexual, crossdresser, or gender nonconforming

[Sammy]

I'm fine with "transgender" meaning a wide spectrum, and "transsexual" meaning someone who has at least an intention of making physical changes.  That seems a common usage.  I'm on hormones and planning surgery but I prefer TG.

I am on hormones and intend to have surgery someday and I identify myself as TS .