This is the letter I came up with, once more, any suggestions are welcomed.
Dear Colleagues,
I am writing this letter to inform you of an important change that is currently taking place in my life. It is not easy to explain, but I am going to try. I have wondered a long time about who to tell, when, and how. I am not certain that this is the best way, or even the most opportune time, but I have come to a point when I cannot hide any longer. I would have liked to reach out to each of you individually, rather than in this somewhat mechanical way, but this is clearly impracticable. I must ask you to believe that I do regret the impossibility of contacting each of you personally.
For most of my life I have struggled with what is medically referred to as Gender Dysphoria, a collective name for a condition in which the biological/physical sex is not consistent with the perception of gender for the person. I have begun an important process that will result in significant changes as I intend to live the rest of my life as a woman.
If I have decided to reveal so much about me today, it is just because I cannot accept any longer the minimisation or denial of what and who I am. I want to be able to communicate normally and honestly about my life, without subterfuge, lies, and fear. I hope that no matter what your reaction is, you'll take the time to read this letter entirely.
At this point, I would like to be clear: being transsexual (admittedly I prefer the term Transgender though this is an umbrella term for anyone who does for 'People who were assigned a sex, usually at birth and based on their genitals, but who feel that this is a false or incomplete description of themselves is neither a choice nor is it a life-style'). For me, this has nothing to do with being transvestite, cross-dresser, drag queen or female impersonator. It has also nothing to do with sex (or desire or preferences) but everything to do with perception of gender identity. Unfortunately, most people equate the concepts of gender and sex, but it is - really - not the same thing. Sex is the fact that a person's physical characteristics are essentially male or female. These features include both visible components (the external genitalia) and invisible components (internal genitalia, hormones, chromosomes and genes). Gender refers to the general presentation, to the physical characteristics, to belief, to behavior which society relies upon so as to classify a person as "masculine" or "feminine." Gender identity refers to the inner conviction of a person because it is defined as belonging to one of these categories. Gender Expression of a person (what that person chooses (or not) to reveal to Society) may or may not match their gender identity, because our behavior is often conditioned by strong social pressures. For most people, sex, gender identity and gender expression, the social role we play, are consistent one with another. However, sometimes some people feel that their body does not match what they feel to be, and the way they are expected to interact in society is very different from what they would like. When this happens, it causes a very strong and constant discomfort, which is at best extremely difficult to control. Various degrees exist, and unfortunately it is a condition that worsens over time. This is not a mental illness and is a recognized medical condition for which treatments are appropriate in only certain cases.
A few years ago some inner reflections made me realize that I was growing unhappy and although I was unsure at the time what it was, I was determined to discover what was making me so unhappy so that I could have what had felt was always denied to me. I realised that while I had established meaningful friendships, I could never be really myself, I could never be truly open. I also realised I was increasingly questioning who I really was. I did not want to impose a miserable life upon my family, so I started therapy with the hope to achieve balance. After a few years of struggling and eventually getting a lucky break, I have started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and I have felt at peace with myself for the first time sense I can remember. After what I have experienced with the HRT I had come to a decision and that was to recognise the truth, be brave and seek medical help so I could live the rest of my life in a manner that will make me happy.
Ok, If you managed to read this far, it is quite possible that you do not know how to feel. Most of us have no personal experience with transgendered peoples, and lack even a basic language to describe it. If you find this strange, embarrassing, or even wonderful, just know that your reaction is not atypical. For what it is worth, most people's reaction to my news have been remarkable in compassion, understanding and support.
I have recently been placed under Hormonal Replacement Therapy and will hopefully enter a so-called "real-life" stage part time hopefully around Christmas depending on how confident I am in my ability to pass, I have no intention of embarrassing the company, nor the people I work with doing this, and this is the reason that I will be taking things perhaps a little more slower. I have already talked with Tyler about this and we agreed that this slowness will be an adjustment time for those who co-work with me and allow me to slip into my new potential roles a little more easily. You can expect to notice increasing physical changes in small steps or small clusters at a time. I will continue to dress pretty much the same way as I do now at work, though there may be times when I may come into the store as a customer dressed differently as Rozelynn before eventually presenting as my true self at work, though I will certainly let everyone know ahead of time before this happens so that there is no uncomfortable surprises.
I know this is going to be hard for many to adjust to, even with the best will. I know there will be an adjustment period where you will unconsciously use he, him or even Rusty/Russell instead of she, her or Roz/Rozelynn. I will be patient, and in fact do understand. It's taking my family a while to switch, too. So do not worry about it, I am not touchy, and I think that a good dose of humor about the whole thing is necessary. I will not get upset because of genuine mistakes, but I would appreciate if you make an effort. I will continue to answer to my former name without any resentment or embarrassment when done without malice.
Beyond this, there is no need to treat me differently. I am still the same person, and I hope you will continue to relate to me like you do now. I want to assure you that I will still be the person you have worked with. It is important for me that you understand I did not play a character when I interacted with you during this time. I had just muted certain aspects for what I hope to be now obvious reasons. This means you can count on my professionalism throughout and after the transition process. I will try my best to minimize any disruptions caused by my transition on my work and on the team. I shall continue to carry on my duties as before, and hope you will find no difference in your dealings with me as my new appearance starts to unfold. With luck, this will all be a short and simple easing into my new role over a period of time, and eventually new perceptions will overlay the image of the person I was, and life will go on. I welcome your suggestions about making this easier for all of us.
I am currently trying to address all the people who need to know before end of this year as I feel it is important to be who I am supposed to be, and who I choose to blossom into. I would appreciate you introduce and refer me to others as Rozelynn when I start to fully present as such, I understand that this will take some adjusting and perhaps even a while to get used. I will not be nasty about this nor expect this to be enforced while I still present largely as male. While I am open about being a transgender woman, it's not courteous for you to tell others about this. It is definitely not a secret, but it is my job to tell people if and when I feel it is important. So please, just refer that person to me.
It is not my intention to either embarrass or upset my friends and colleagues, although I am realistic enough to know that I will not be readily accepted by everyone and that some may have difficulty accepting me. I will respect this right, but know that I am not interested in engaging in futile arguments if you strongly disapprove of what I'm doing. I do recognize the fact that to some people I will seem to be carrying out an act which is morally wrong. But this is a road I must take, whatever the consequences. I do not expect you to understand or approve of my decision to change gender. However, I ask that you to respect my decision and that you recognize the fact that this decision has been reached after years of unhappiness. I ask for your tolerance, and, if you can supply it, a continuation of your friendship.
So, what if you have other questions? I am prepared to talk with anyone who wants to know more about my situation, and would rather do this than have misconceptions exist due to lack of knowledge about those who identify as Transgender. Everyone is welcome to stop by and talk with me. I'm happy to answer any questions (well, almost any), and I assure you I will tell no one what you asked me. Obviously, I'm pretty good at keeping things secret. If you don't feel comfortable talking with me, you may talk with Tyler or any of the other Store's Management, who can then get an answer from me and get it back to you anonymously. Please also feel free to contact me if you feel this will help our relationship in the future. Communication seldom does any harm. I am very flexible and open to suggestions that minimize difficulties and awkward situations so we all can work together. I acknowledge that it may be difficult for you and i am eager to help things go smoothly.
Best Regards,
Rozelynn
