Identifying as trans? and identity in general...

[Natkat]

I see the word trans as an adjective that describes the kind of man I am. It's not exactly a matter of identity or not, it's a matter of just...sorta...being. I don't think white cis straight men identify as white, or cis, or straight...I don't think that they even think of their race, gender, or sexuality that much since it's all considered the default mostly.

I know a white hetrosexual cisguy, he been writting a article about gay rights because his son is gay. as far I remember he said he identified as a straight guy,
Normally he didnt use to think about his sexualety or position but after his son came out as gay he been invold with alot of glbt stuff, and invited to gay parades and goes to gay bars where he felt as the minority. and funny also alot of people (include myself) didnt really belive he where straight first time we saw him, so he had to tell them he where 100% straight.

I think people dont say they identify as anything if they dont think about it.
I think in the opposite world you may had the "straight out and proud people"
-----------------------------------------

[Natkat]

I wonder about something.
For those who don't identify trans.
it's fine identify or not identifying whatever you are, but I wonder if some people rather not identify as trans due to taboo of the word.

some people like to be seen as 100%male or female, they rather identify cis than trans.
I know a transguy who once said "why would you even transition if you identify as trans, then your not transition to be a man but as trans"

For me I dont understand the view. for me transmen are also men. I wont say 100% because I dont belive any humans is 100%male or female, but as male as cisgender.
---

[aleon515]

I don't "identify" as anything. Identifying as something generally implies choice. I simply am male (and happen to have transsexualism)

I found this a really interesting idea, and I don't know really know if I agree or not but it had me thinking awhile which (I think) is a good thing.

@Rositer: Well identifying as cis would be to take on a strong ally role, I mean that's what I would think as I know people who do this. I guess I'd say *normally* I think that it's more a hidden thing. When people take on cis as an identity they make it more open that there are differences this way and that the difference is not "better" or "worse".

--Jay

[chuck]

I wonder about something.
For those who don't identify trans.
it's fine identify or not identifying whatever you are, but I wonder if some people rather not identify as trans due to taboo of the word.

some people like to be seen as 100%male or female, they rather identify cis than trans.
I know a transguy who once said "why would you even transition if you identify as trans, then your not transition to be a man but as trans"

For me I dont understand the view. for me transmen are also men. I wont say 100% because I dont belive any humans is 100%male or female, but as male as cisgender.
---

I think for some people it is about the taboo, but for me it isn't. For me, identifying as trans makes abut as much sense as identifying as cis, or identifying with being born by cecesarean section or being born 1 month early or being born breeched. While we could argue that all those things are some how relavent to who we are, they are not as important as who I have become.The situation of my birth does not mean enough to me for me to constantly remind others or myself.

[FTMDiaries]

I think for some people it is about the taboo, but for me it isn't. For me, identifying as trans makes abut as much sense as identifying as cis, or identifying with being born by cecesarean section or being born 1 month early or being born breeched. While we could argue that all those things are some how relavent to who we are, they are not as important as who I have become.The situation of my birth does not mean enough to me for me to constantly remind others or myself.

Ditto; no taboos here either.

I simply don't define myself according to my membership of any particular group. That's something that extroverts do; I'm an introvert so I don't feel I need to be part of a group in order to be valid as a person.

[AdamMLP]

I don't think there's anything taboo about "trans" either.  Maybe about the word "transsexual", maybe it's just me, or the fact that it contains the word "sex", but that term seems to have some connotations with fetishes and something more taboo than is desirable.  Yes, it's what I medically would be classed as, but that doesn't mean that I want to identify as it, because I'm more than just a medical term, and certainly more than what the general population seems to think a transsexual person is.  Somehow "transgender" seems a much more welcoming term, and doesn't have the bad imagery attached to it for me, and "trans" feels like a shortened nickname for it given by people in the know.  I wouldn't feel threatened by someone who used the word trans because it seems like only educated people use that term.

I still don't identify as either of them though, just that there's no taboo about the word "trans" for me.  For people who do identify with, or like the word transsexual, this post is no reflection on you, I just dislike the word, but that doesn't stop me supporting the people.

[MoonThief]

I like to identify myself as gender neutral, but on the more masculine side. I'm fine with people calling me trans though.

[Rossiter]

I don't think there's anything taboo about "trans" either.  Maybe about the word "transsexual", maybe it's just me, or the fact that it contains the word "sex", but that term seems to have some connotations with fetishes and something more taboo than is desirable.  Yes, it's what I medically would be classed as, but that doesn't mean that I want to identify as it, because I'm more than just a medical term, and certainly more than what the general population seems to think a transsexual person is.  Somehow "transgender" seems a much more welcoming term, and doesn't have the bad imagery attached to it for me, and "trans" feels like a shortened nickname for it given by people in the know.  I wouldn't feel threatened by someone who used the word trans because it seems like only educated people use that term.

I kind of miss transsexual being used more, because it's more specific...now trans* seems to be quite popular but that includes a lot of people who really have nothing in common with me - actually sometimes even the word transgender encompasses all these different identities and stuff as well. It's counterintuitive to me to group myself with people who don't have dysphoria and don't want to transition, when that's basically the entire experience for me. When people hear "transsexual" a lot of them think "born in the wrong body" and "surgeries" and that's accurate enough in my case.

[mythy]

Ok, so I identify more as agender/genderqueer but I have been on T for 2+ years. I consider myself both a trans and genderqueer person. I experience gender dysphoria in that I feel discomfort with my genetalia and my chest. I really really really want bottom surgery as that is where most of the dysphoria comes from. However, I just don't feel comfortable taking on either a male or a female role. I am who I am and there are aspects of my personality and my identity that I think fit into both.

[Nygeel]

I know a white hetrosexual cisguy, he been writting a article about gay rights because his son is gay. as far I remember he said he identified as a straight guy,
Normally he didnt use to think about his sexualety or position but after his son came out as gay he been invold with alot of glbt stuff, and invited to gay parades and goes to gay bars where he felt as the minority. and funny also alot of people (include myself) didnt really belive he where straight first time we saw him, so he had to tell them he where 100% straight.

I think people dont say they identify as anything if they dont think about it.
I think in the opposite world you may had the "straight out and proud people"
-----------------------------------------

I'll give an example...if somebody is killed, and an article is written about it, nothing is said of sexual orientation, or gender (cis vs trans) unless the person is gay or trans. It's usually assumed that a person is straight and cis until they prove otherwise, and that is the default. The thing about being white might vary based on where you live, but in the US they won't bring up if the person was white.

[Lexi Belle]

I know I am trans, I don't enjoy the fact that I wasn't born the gender I feel I should have been, but I am trans.  Being trans, I feel it would be in my best interests, as well as the whole of the trans community, to at least acknowledge and support my condition.  I do not think I'd ever say, "I am a trans woman" or simply put I am trans, I'd only ever refer to myself as a woman.  However, I will not distance myself from the fact that I am transsexual.  It is in my best interest to help the community as a whole to makes things better for people like me in the future.

[aleon515]

I know a white hetrosexual cisguy, he been writting a article about gay rights because his son is gay. as far I remember he said he identified as a straight guy,
Normally he didnt use to think about his sexualety or position but after his son came out as gay he been invold with alot of glbt stuff, and invited to gay parades and goes to gay bars where he felt as the minority. and funny also alot of people (include myself) didnt really belive he where straight first time we saw him, so he had to tell them he where 100% straight.

Seems like some cis and straight people will identify that way as a way of being active allies. But it is something that they might take on. I know someone like that. When we go around and say our gender preference, she'll say "I'm a straight cis female".


--Jay

[Kreuzfidel]

I kind of miss transsexual being used more, because it's more specific...now trans* seems to be quite popular but that includes a lot of people who really have nothing in common with me - actually sometimes even the word transgender encompasses all these different identities and stuff as well. It's counterintuitive to me to group myself with people who don't have dysphoria and don't want to transition, when that's basically the entire experience for me. When people hear "transsexual" a lot of them think "born in the wrong body" and "surgeries" and that's accurate enough in my case.

These are my feelings, as well, overall.

[Lexicon]

I've been thinking about this a lot for many years.  I'm 30 now, just started T yesterday but spent the last 12 years really thinking about wether or not T was for me, mainly because of this conversation.

I'm neither.  I truly exist somewhere in between, as I'm sure many of us do.  The world, humanity, whatever, hasn't caught up with that yet.  There's no words, pronouns, consciousness, or emotional space yet that we can inhabit free from this question of one or the other aside from the one's we carve out in our own hearts and minds.

For me, I've never been a woman but I'm also not a man.  The most I can do is make myself comfortable in the body I have and in the culture I inhabit which for me means taking on a more male physiology.  I believe that to be the closest to my truest expression.  I identify simply as my name these days unless I find myself in a situation in which it is both helpful and necessary to identify myself for someone.

5 years ago I was almost killed in San Francisco during a hate crime.  After many months of agonizing pain, emotional and psychological trauma and a grueling legal process, I made a decision.  I am not going to spend one more day of my life being uncomfortable for someone else. 

I admit, I have a life here that I've made for myself that is now a privilege and a gift to live.  I've carved out a safe space for myself at work, at home, in my community in which I'm well respected and appreciated for my experience and perspective and this lets me move through my world without having to explain myself.  I let people figure it out for themselves or talk to other people because I'm not confused and I'm not uncomfortable so their confusion or discomfort is just that -- theirs.  When people lose it on me I have to accept that most people will never understand who I am or how I live or what I've been through. For most people, I'll be the only trans person they ever encounter so I give them permission to be vulnerable, curious, and to love someone they didn't think they could even like.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I kind of feel like it's part of the package, part of my responsibility as someone who exists in the middle -- not to just be angry that people don't get it -- to live as hopeful, happy, healthy example and to educate where I can. 

I used to fight a lot.  I used to lose it on people or I'd take it so personally that I'd be paralyzed by the pain of whatever they said or did.  Sometimes that still happens, but mostly I'm able to stay grounded.  Maybe it's being a bit older than I was when I was at my dumbest or maybe it's just really coming to peace with the fact that I really am different.  I really am something extraordinary and I stopped blaming people for not getting it, I don't know, but either way I'm happy to be undefined.  I'm trans because that's my experience, an experience that has forever changed and shaped the way I see the world and it's an experience that is so unique that I treasure it. 

There isn't a word for me yet, at best, I'm what anyone wants to see in me because I never expect people to know the true character of my spirit and I've finally stopped expecting them to do so.

Hope that wasn't a derail.

[chuck]

I've been thinking about this a lot for many years.  I'm 30 now, just started T yesterday but spent the last 12 years really thinking about wether or not T was for me, mainly because of this conversation.

I'm neither.  I truly exist somewhere in between, as I'm sure many of us do.  The world, humanity, whatever, hasn't caught up with that yet.  There's no words, pronouns, consciousness, or emotional space yet that we can inhabit free from this question of one or the other aside from the one's we carve out in our own hearts and minds.

For me, I've never been a woman but I'm also not a man.  The most I can do is make myself comfortable in the body I have and in the culture I inhabit which for me means taking on a more male physiology.  I believe that to be the closest to my truest expression.  I identify simply as my name these days unless I find myself in a situation in which it is both helpful and necessary to identify myself for someone.

5 years ago I was almost killed in San Francisco during a hate crime.  After many months of agonizing pain, emotional and psychological trauma and a grueling legal process, I made a decision.  I am not going to spend one more day of my life being uncomfortable for someone else. 

I admit, I have a life here that I've made for myself that is now a privilege and a gift to live.  I've carved out a safe space for myself at work, at home, in my community in which I'm well respected and appreciated for my experience and perspective and this lets me move through my world without having to explain myself.  I let people figure it out for themselves or talk to other people because I'm not confused and I'm not uncomfortable so their confusion or discomfort is just that -- theirs.  When people lose it on me I have to accept that most people will never understand who I am or how I live or what I've been through. For most people, I'll be the only trans person they ever encounter so I give them permission to be vulnerable, curious, and to love someone they didn't think they could even like.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I kind of feel like it's part of the package, part of my responsibility as someone who exists in the middle -- not to just be angry that people don't get it -- to live as hopeful, happy, healthy example and to educate where I can. 

I used to fight a lot.  I used to lose it on people or I'd take it so personally that I'd be paralyzed by the pain of whatever they said or did.  Sometimes that still happens, but mostly I'm able to stay grounded.  Maybe it's being a bit older than I was when I was at my dumbest or maybe it's just really coming to peace with the fact that I really am different.  I really am something extraordinary and I stopped blaming people for not getting it, I don't know, but either way I'm happy to be undefined.  I'm trans because that's my experience, an experience that has forever changed and shaped the way I see the world and it's an experience that is so unique that I treasure it. 

There isn't a word for me yet, at best, I'm what anyone wants to see in me because I never expect people to know the true character of my spirit and I've finally stopped expecting them to do so.

Hope that wasn't a derail.

wow. While I do not share your personal identity, this was really well written and beautiful. I am also about to be thirty (though ive been on t for 10 years) and I think that  being a bit older really does put things in perspective. Thanks for writing that post.

[mangoslayer]

I kind of miss transsexual being used more, because it's more specific...now trans* seems to be quite popular but that includes a lot of people who really have nothing in common with me - actually sometimes even the word transgender encompasses all these different identities and stuff as well. It's counterintuitive to me to group myself with people who don't have dysphoria and don't want to transition, when that's basically the entire experience for me. When people hear "transsexual" a lot of them think "born in the wrong body" and "surgeries" and that's accurate enough in my case.

I couldn't agree more. I really dislike the idea of a transgender umbrella since most of the things included under it arent trans, just gender variant. It should be called the gender variant umbrella.

[insideontheoutside]

I've been thinking about this a lot for many years.  I'm 30 now, just started T yesterday but spent the last 12 years really thinking about wether or not T was for me, mainly because of this conversation.

I'm neither.  I truly exist somewhere in between, as I'm sure many of us do.  The world, humanity, whatever, hasn't caught up with that yet.  There's no words, pronouns, consciousness, or emotional space yet that we can inhabit free from this question of one or the other aside from the one's we carve out in our own hearts and minds.

For me, I've never been a woman but I'm also not a man.  The most I can do is make myself comfortable in the body I have and in the culture I inhabit which for me means taking on a more male physiology.  I believe that to be the closest to my truest expression.  I identify simply as my name these days unless I find myself in a situation in which it is both helpful and necessary to identify myself for someone.

5 years ago I was almost killed in San Francisco during a hate crime.  After many months of agonizing pain, emotional and psychological trauma and a grueling legal process, I made a decision.  I am not going to spend one more day of my life being uncomfortable for someone else. 

I admit, I have a life here that I've made for myself that is now a privilege and a gift to live.  I've carved out a safe space for myself at work, at home, in my community in which I'm well respected and appreciated for my experience and perspective and this lets me move through my world without having to explain myself.  I let people figure it out for themselves or talk to other people because I'm not confused and I'm not uncomfortable so their confusion or discomfort is just that -- theirs.  When people lose it on me I have to accept that most people will never understand who I am or how I live or what I've been through. For most people, I'll be the only trans person they ever encounter so I give them permission to be vulnerable, curious, and to love someone they didn't think they could even like.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I kind of feel like it's part of the package, part of my responsibility as someone who exists in the middle -- not to just be angry that people don't get it -- to live as hopeful, happy, healthy example and to educate where I can. 

I used to fight a lot.  I used to lose it on people or I'd take it so personally that I'd be paralyzed by the pain of whatever they said or did.  Sometimes that still happens, but mostly I'm able to stay grounded.  Maybe it's being a bit older than I was when I was at my dumbest or maybe it's just really coming to peace with the fact that I really am different.  I really am something extraordinary and I stopped blaming people for not getting it, I don't know, but either way I'm happy to be undefined.  I'm trans because that's my experience, an experience that has forever changed and shaped the way I see the world and it's an experience that is so unique that I treasure it. 

There isn't a word for me yet, at best, I'm what anyone wants to see in me because I never expect people to know the true character of my spirit and I've finally stopped expecting them to do so.

Hope that wasn't a derail.

I appreciate a post like this. I've got 10 years on you and I'm not transitioning, not because I'm not transsexual (or not male inside) but for a variety of reasons both health-wise and social. I have a pretty nice life. I even have a few select friends who treat me as male, no questions asked. Somehow, I made it through many years of absolute hell because of my gender issues and bad choices I made to "hide" from those issues and I've come out the other side to be where I presently am in my life. I have my off days. Sometimes when I do I come here.

[Lauren5]

Personally, I don't want to identify as trans. I want to identify as a woman. Unfortunately, pre-transition, unless I want to identify as male (which I don't) and I don't appear female at all, I feel as if I have to identify as trans.

[KingKai]

I know I am trans, I don't enjoy the fact that I wasn't born the gender I feel I should have been, but I am trans.  Being trans, I feel it would be in my best interests, as well as the whole of the trans community, to at least acknowledge and support my condition.  I do not think I'd ever say, "I am a trans woman" or simply put I am trans, I'd only ever refer to myself as a woman.  However, I will not distance myself from the fact that I am transsexual.  It is in my best interest to help the community as a whole to makes things better for people like me in the future.

>__> I noticed your Miqo'te, and had to say hello to a fellow FFXIV player. Balmung-er over here!

Anyhow, I agree with this post. I simply am a man, and "identify" as one. But sometimes I will identify as a trans as well if the situation calls for it. (ex: This really amazing guy ended up liking me, so I felt it only fair to let him know I do not have the right.. uh.. equipment, down there. But he doesn't believe me xD He kinda just laughed it off and thinks I'm lying. Which is weird, I'm not even on T!)

[Lexi Belle]

>__> I noticed your Miqo'te, and had to say hello to a fellow FFXIV player. Balmung-er over here!

Anyhow, I agree with this post. I simply am a man, and "identify" as one. But sometimes I will identify as a trans as well if the situation calls for it. (ex: This really amazing guy ended up liking me, so I felt it only fair to let him know I do not have the right.. uh.. equipment, down there. But he doesn't believe me xD He kinda just laughed it off and thinks I'm lying. Which is weird, I'm not even on T!)

Yus! I have a couple characters on Balmung, but my mains are on Zalera.

And that's not exactly what I meant though I do agree with doing that.  All my good friends know, and I told my current boyfriend too.

What I really meant was- I'm a woman and just a woman.  That's all.  In the background of course I am trans, but that's not something I'll advertise about myself, nor will I distance myself from the trans community. 
In my eyes being trans is more or less having a deformity or being sick, and what we do is try to counteract it.  Until people who are Diabetic start saying "Hi, I'm Lucy and I'm a diabetic female"  I'm not going to run around saying I'm a trans woman.  I'll tell who I feel should know, but it will not be a part of my social identity.