Coming out to my 11-year-old daughter

[Megumi]

That is wonderful news Robin! I'm so happy for you and your family reading your post made me tear up.

[suzifrommd]

"Daddy," she said, "I want you to do whatever you need to do to be happy.  Your happiness is important too." 

Sounds like you totally won the daughter lottery!

[Robin Mack]

Thank you, all... I always knew I was lucky to have her as a daughter (she is so much like me, it's like watching a CIS version of me grow!)  She's proven it again, I love her so! 

I think the best thing, for me (beyond getting to spend girl time with her now, of course ) is that a tightness and heaviness in my heart has lifted.  I'm mildly concerned about how well my mother and extended family will take this, but I know now that I have all I *need*.  I haven't lost my biological daughter.

*happy dance*

HUGS all around!!

[jynx81]

I'm very glad everything worked out so well for you robin. It was a very informative post for me as ive been struggling to come out to my stepson whos pretty close to the same age.

[Robin Mack]

I'm very glad everything worked out so well for you robin. It was a very informative post for me as ive been struggling to come out to my stepson whos pretty close to the same age.

I wish you luck!  I do know that boys and girls are different in how they are indoctrinated and how they socialize, so I would advise proceeding with caution and feeling him out/prepping him a bit beforehand like I did with my little one.    Also, if you have any doubts, talk to your therapist about it.

I'd imagine, though, like the previous posters said, it would be better to let him know sooner than later, and certainly better to let him know rather than having him figure it out for himself.  How long have you been in his life?

*hugs*

[jynx81]

     I definately agree about talking to a therapist first, I've just been putting it off because the nearest therapist i can find that has experience dealing with gender issues is a 3 hour drive away. I've been with his dad for 6 years, but only met his son a few years ago(3 or 4), he just recently started living with us. I think hell probably handle it fairly well, his dads been gay a long time, so are most of our friends, so he knows a bit about lbgt issues. I imagine hell have alot of questions though which I'm not really sure how to answer (another good reason to get into therapy).

[Robin Mack]

That's a great place to start!  My daughter had a good grasp of LGBTQ issues, too, and I think this made it easier.  In my case, I did not wait for the therapist since I knew my daughter well... We were supposed to discuss this on Monday a week from now, but I couldn't take hiding from her any longer.  I read everything I could about the issue sand asked for advice here, and, well, relied on her huge reserves of awesome to get us through.

Maybe not the most prudent advice, but the only choice I could make given the circumstances.  *hug*

Whatever you and his dad decide, you are ahead of the game with having a kid who understands the LGBTQ situation.  Good luck and much love!

*hug*