Dilate Forever?

[K8]

I had GRS with Dr Bowers in 2010.  Her dilation instructions at the time only went through the first year.  I had the impression that after that I could dilate just occasionally.  When things closed down a bit after going 9 days without dilation 15 months after surgery, I had to drop back a size to work them open again and called her office.  They said I should dilate every day for the rest of my life.  When I asked what would happen if I stopped, they said my vagina would close up.

I just saw Dr Nguyen.  He said that after a year or so, everything should be stable and I shouldn't have to dilate.  He said the vagina wouldn't close up.

I read here that Dr Brassard says to dilate once a week for life.

I know that penetrative sex counts as a dilation, but I don't have it and don't want it.  That isn't the issue.  I didn't mind dilation in the beginning.  It was part of the deal to get the vagina.  But life goes on.  Currently I dilate three times a week.  I wouldn't mind once a week, but I'm not willing to do it daily forever.

What is your experience?  What does your doctor say?  Do you still dilate daily X years after surgery?

- Kate

[mrs izzy]

After the 1 year mark it is 1 x a week with the orange monster guage for 15 min the rest of my life or i can replace by intercourse. I am hoping for the intercourse part the most lol...
I am a Montreal girl.
That is what i was told and will do. Once a week to keep things in shape is least one can do without any effect on ones life or schedule.

Izzy

[JennX]

Forever. Dr. McGinn recommends at least 1 time per week after 1 year post-op... forever. I'll probably go twice per week to be on the safe side. Also regular intercourse with a cis-male is not the same thing. I have a cis-male boyfriend, and the feeling and result is much different compared to dilation.

Yep... these things require a good deal of maintenance and upkeep.

[Vicky]

I am a much more recent (9 months) Bowers girl, and my discharge instructions DID say it was "reccommended" to dilate everyday, world without end amen, from now until death do me part, but I have found that even now if I miss one day, I have no issues if I get back on the track soon.  The different doctors do use different techniques, and I suspect that each one's job requires a different regimen based on what was opened, shut, stretched, snipped or sewn.  My prospects of having a viagra-able male at my age are pretty slim, but while a nuisance, I will try and keep the daily routine, but not be a fanatic about it.  If you regained after losing circumference, nuisance not loss. 

[Jamie D]

I am a much more recent (9 months) Bowers girl, and my discharge instructions DID say it was "reccommended" to dilate everyday, world without end amen, from now until death do me part, but I have found that even now if I miss one day, I have no issues if I get back on the track soon.  The different doctors do use different techniques, and I suspect that each one's job requires a different regimen based on what was opened, shut, stretched, snipped or sewn.  My prospects of having a viagra-able male at my age are pretty slim, but while a nuisance, I will try and keep the daily routine, but not be a fanatic about it.  If you regained after losing circumference, nuisance not loss.

Don't underestimate yourself, Toots! 

[Cindy]

Don't underestimate yourself, Toots! 

Do I detect a volunteer!!!!!!

[Ltl89]

I'm pre-op, but know some post-ops very well.  Please take dilating very seriously and listen to your surgeon's advice.   One of my friends missed a few days early on and things never were never the same since.  It sounds like an annoying chore to my pre-op ears, but it is a necessary one (if you want to keep the great results).  I wouldn't leave anything to chance. 

P.S.  I'm super jealous of you all.

[Cindy]

I'm pre-op, but know some post-ops very well.  Please take dilating very seriously and listen to your surgeon's advice.   One of my friends missed a few days early on and things never were never the same since.  It sounds like an annoying chore to my pre-op ears, but it is a necessary one (if you want to keep the great results).  I wouldn't leave anything to chance. 

P.S.  I'm super jealous of you all.

Oh you and me both and lots of other women here!!!

[Jamie D]

Do I detect a volunteer!!!!!!

I am just an outrageous flirt, and you know it.

Besides, if I was going to hook up with Vicky, it would have to be at the piano bar in the Northwoods Restaurant, on Huntington at Rosemead.   

She might even get a steak dinner out of it! 

[Cindy]

I am just an outrageous flirt, and you know it.

Besides, if I was going to hook up with Vicky, it would have to be at the piano bar in the Northwoods Restaurant, on Huntington at Rosemead.   

She might even get a steak dinner out of it! 

Now I'm jealous! You are my favourite silver fox and you know it!!!!

[K8]

The different doctors do use different techniques, and I suspect that each one's job requires a different regimen based on what was opened, shut, stretched, snipped or sewn.

Good point, Vicky.  Dr. Bowers gave me my life and I will be eternally grateful, but I didn't understand the long-term commitment of daily dilation.  I dilate for 15 minutes three times a week now using the brown (orange?) Mr Big without a problem.  Circumference is not a problem, but I'm losing depth.  I also have spotting after every dilation.  I went to Nguyen to see if he could stop the spotting after dilation but he couldn't find the source of the bleeding. 

Perhaps I just need to change my attitude about the whole thing, accept the limitations, be grateful for what I have, and get on with my life - my new, wonderful life.

- Kate

PS to Vicky: I was 66 when I had GRS.  I was sure that with my age and my background (living male until age 65, transsexual, etc.) I would live alone for the rest of my life.  But I have fallen in love with a wonderful woman who loves me deeply.  Hang in there girl.  You never know what delights will come your way once you can be your true self.

[anjaq]

Keep dilating, seriously. I regret to have slacked on that. My doc said to dilate or have it with a boyfriend weekly for ever. At first that worked fine for me, with time i got lazy and went to monthly with a dilator way too small.
So if its 3 times a week for now, keep that schedule, in some months or a year you can surely try carefully to get to the weekly schedule that everyone seems to suggest.

[Doctorwho?]

Well it could be argued by some that as I am AIS and therefore not properly trans things might be a little different - but I actually had a broadly similar operation to you girls, when I was a young adult around 30 years ago...

Fact is for the last ten years I have not been sexually active. During all that time I only dilated very occasionally (one a week or less) to keep a check on things. Despite this I've absolutely no evidence of ever having lost any capacity to stretch over that time (I have a hugely elastic lining to my vagina).

In fact a few years ago I bought myself a couple of soul source - the blue and the orange. 30 years on from my original op both will go in with ease past all the dimples and right up to the hilt. It surprises me when I read people complaining about Mr Orange being a challenge because I reckon that like most natal females I could almost certainly stretch to around twice that diameter if needed. Clearly that isnt the case for many, which I find genuinely quite surprising, because my Op was done a long time ago, and I would have imagined that surgical techniques were a lot more sophisticated now than they were back then.

I've recently got a new man - and sex is wonderful - So no, I'm certainly not dilating for life, and from the evidence of the last 30 years I would say I absolutely don't need to.

[Vicky]

I am just an outrageous flirt, and you know it.

Besides, if I was going to hook up with Vicky, it would have to be at the piano bar in the Northwoods Restaurant, on Huntington at Rosemead.   

She might even get a steak dinner out of it! 

They no longer have the piano in there, but I was literally in that place last night!!  OMG!!  Bar I can't do (in fact last night was my 5th sobriety birth day) but throwing the peanut shells on the floor is fun after you take the peanuts out of them!!   I can be cheap about it and go to The Boat (Clearmans Galley) for a chili size too!!

[Northern Jane]

Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does!

[K8]

I would have imagined that surgical techniques were a lot more sophisticated now than they were back then.

You would think so, but perhaps many of the advances have been in the cosmetics and healing of the surgery.

Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does!

I hope to get there someday, but for now it's just uncomfortable and a bit painful.  I'll keep working at it.  I look forward to the day when it is a joy.

- Kate

[Gina_Z]

Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does!

THAT is an encouraging post! I won't forget it. <insert big smile>

[mrs izzy]

Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does!

Nope never in a million years will these hard plastic things ever do anything for me. Maybe for me it is a mental thing?

Izzy

[anjaq]

Hey, no one said you have to use the originals in the long run. there is a good variety of toys out there that certainly will work for long term "maintentance", or not?

[Doctorwho?]

Hey, no one said you have to use the originals in the long run. there is a good variety of toys out there that certainly will work for long term "maintentance", or not?

Hmmm I think you may have just given me an idea. 

The answer is yes and no... A vaginal stent (to give it it's proper name) does have a particular profile which is different to a lot of dildo's and the shape and size does matter... - however I can see no fundamental reason that one could not make a hollow example of something like the soul-source orange and incorporate a vibe.

Now who do I know who manufactures medical accessories...