I know it seems like forever baby, but hang on, you can do it. I had to wait for 40 years until HRT, but it is here finally. As for venting, go ahead. Even I had a huge meltdown last night and MANY people here saved me and would not let me quit and go away. This is a VERY special place. It happens and it is OK. Private message me at any time and I will be your vent buddy. I mean, I am your big sister aren't I? Love you lots, stay in touch as I am adding you to my buddy list. Take care sweety. BIG HUG