This board has been a part of the process I went through coming to terms with myself from the very beginning. I combed through pages and pages at first, learning about everything. As I read what people posted and saw the replies to their threads, I began to realize I identified with what they were saying. I found a name for the way I felt for years without knowing what was wrong with me. Then, I learned what I could do to feel better about myself. More so than any other place on the Internet, Susans as helped me get to where I am now with my life and my transition.
I feel like I mention this a lot in posts, so I will save the details, but I was in a really, really rough place at about the same time I discovered Susans. I was grappling with mental illness issues that included extreme crippling social anxiety as part of it. I had to work up serious courage to even make posts on this forum. Then, I realized people here were incredibly and extremely supportive. I made posts and people even replied. I felt support when I had none of it at all IRL. I don't talk to my family, and I had just moved across the country. It is really sad and pathetic, but this board was one of the only places I interacted with anyone at all in the last couple of years.
My post history on here could almost serve as a journal of my self discovery process with all of this. My opinions on issues related to being trans and what I wanted from my own transition have shifted and grown, and it is reflected here.
I formally made an account on the board in Nov 2011 and started T in August 2013. Posters on this board helped me when I had questions every step of the way. I asked about everything from binders to haircuts to shoe choices. People even replied when I asked silly questions I could have just googled about, such as sewing pockets into clothing to try to hide a STP.
When I was feeling like a in-between freak, I would come here and read posts and realize I am not a freak or crazy for feeling this way. When I was super down about everything I made a post about it and the replies I got made me realize I am not alone in any of this. Just the other day, I got important relationship advice.
Additionally, being able to reply to the threads of others and try to help them out had another purpose as well - it made me feel better about myself to think I was assisting them even in a very small way.
Once I did start T, people on here helped me realize I was using the wrong needles for injections. When I was freaking out about a possible infection after an injection last week and made a thread about it, the replies people made calmed me down and think about it rationally. It is a big deal for me to make myself go into to see my doctor, so this sort of advice was crucial for me.
This post could get really long, so I will stop now.
Thank you Susan's, thank you Susan for making this board, thank you moderators for keeping the board such a nice place. Thank you everyone who has posted on here with their details and questions from every perspective. Thank you to the long term posters that have repeatedly shared their advice and perspective.
Thank you to anyone who has ever replied to my threads and helped me along the way. I appreciate all of it and everyone here so, so much.
