I'm not sure what to say about this rather than giving you hugs.
This is probably best left to a trained psychologist. If you feel they're too intense, call yours now, or if you don't have one, call your GP to set up a meeting with one. It may be kind of hard to do eithert of those because for most of the world it's late at night and/or still Sunday. Promise me, though, if you're feeling downright terrible, that you'll go get some professional help.