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What gave them the right?

Started by Joe., October 14, 2013, 05:08:46 PM

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Joe.

I had an appointment today regarding looking for work. I was speaking to the woman and she said 'it says here you're depressed because of your operation?' I was baffled. 'What operation?' I asked. I haven't had any operation. She said 'it says here you've had a sex change operation which has lead you to depression.' I was gobsmacked. I laughed in her face. I told her I haven't had any operation and yes I am depressed, but that's nothing to do with me having an imaginary operation. What gave them the right to assume I've had an operation and then have the cheek to say it's made me depressed? I told the man I was depressed but mentioned nothing about my transition. Why is it ok for him to go and make assumptions like that, making up false operations and blaming my depression on something he knows nothing about? He doesn't know me. She eventually took off the part that said I had an operation but kept on there that I suffer from depression which is fine because that is correct. I'm so angry.
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DriftingCrow

Wow, that sucks Joey. Where'd that information come from? Did you tell a job recruiter you're trans?

Some people just don't fully understand what trans is, they probably don't really know anyone who is trans, so it's easy for them to make assumptions. Try not to let it get to you, but I hope it doesn't get in the way of your job search.

Perhaps you can see if there's any LGBT friendly employment agencies nearby.
ਮਨਿ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗੁ ਜੀਤੁ
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Sephirah

Places like that, Joey, they have very little idea what on earth they're talking about. What will have happened is that something you said to someone, somewhere, at some time, will have been recorded with a HUGE degree of interpretation, and passed on to someone else, and someone else. Often it seems like the old game of Chinese Whispers where something you said out of hand will have been embellished, added to, turned round, and made into something else entirely.

Someone at an appointment I once went to asked me what happened to my dog walking business. I had to do a double take and ask what on earth they were talking about. It turns out that I'd made a passing comment to someone in an organisation which that organisation drew upon about having two dogs and enjoyed walking them. To which they're written down "walks dogs".

You may have mentioned your transition to someone totally uninformed about what the process actually involves, who wrote down what they thought it meant, and that got handed on to whoever you were seeing.

Life lessen #14 - incompetence can be endemic. Never trust that someone has done a good job unless you've done it yourself, lol.

*hugs*
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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King Malachite

Wow Joey, I've noticed that the people around you lately have been nothing but douchebags.  You know, I admire that you have such good strength to continue in going full-time in spite of what's been happening to you lately.  That's a good quality to have.

-sending much hugs your way-
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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Joe.

Thanks everyone. The only way the first guy would have known was because I gave him my deed poll. I simply told him I have changed my name and title since my photo ID and he photocopied it and said no more. He asked me about medical conditions and I said I suffered from depression so he put that on my notes. As well as adding I've had a major sex change operation when I haven't. I've only met him the once, and nobody else knows me there, so he based this information entirely on my name change. Not only did it upset me that he made up this operation, it's the fact he said my depression was because of the operation. I can tell you now, if I suddenly had the right parts, it certainly wouldn't cause any depression.

Thanks Malachite. People are idiots, and very ignorant. I was expecting that when I started full time. Sometimes I question myself if the whole going full time thing is really worth it, but then I look at myself in the mirror and I know I'm so much happier. I know I don't pass all the time. Heck, I don't even pass most of the time, but I'm happier with myself by miles, and that's all that really counts. I went full time for myself, to feel happy. And if anybody can gain anything from my experiences then to me it's all worthwhile.
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