To the married folks

[Sammy]

Ahhhhk... now I'm wondering what positions you're imagining me in :p (LOL... kidding... sort of.)

Nope, I was remembering myself in them, actually .

The self doubt goes away fast... at least it did for me.

Lucky You... I still get it at times. Anyway, I am trying to remember the excellent post made by one member here, who quoted her therapist: "If You have heard the story of one transgender person, You have heard the story of one transgender person". So simple, yet true and wise:).

[KabitTarah]

I agree. My bigger problem is that I'm convinced nobody (with some exceptions) believes me. Which makes me want to overwhelm them more... I'm not very good holding things back right now.

I'm dying to send this G1 / G3 article to my wife, but she won't read it anyway and she'll just get angry that I want her to understand who I am. Meanwhile, the side comment was that she thinks I'm superficial and spending money on superficial things (when my son told her she's beautiful - that's how she responded... "no I'm not, some people are superficial..."). Yeah - you just told me don't understand me at all.

Sorry for the rant.  bleh

[Carlita]

I think a possible factor in the G1 to G3 disparity is simply sexual orientation. Trans people attracted to the opposite sex (same gender) have more reinforcement to believe they're just a normal male/female with some eccentricities. While orientation and gender identity are said to be distinct, orientation is a huge factor in identity development.

Being into girls would also encourage a male bodied person to take on a more masculine role whether it suited their own inclinations or not. So much of gender roles are based on sex.  Sex is probably the most powerful drive on earth. If you want to attract girls, you're probably not going to play up your girly factor. A young trans girl into guys wouldn't have this disparity to deal with.

This is a really interesting point. For years I told myself that i couldn't REALLY be transsexual because I had girlfriends and I'd never gone with guys.

But here's the thing ... I never, ever had a conventional male sex-drive (gay or straight) where you're basically led by your dick and just want to get laid ... I mean, that is how regular guys feel, right? Whatever, I never did.

I really liked girls a lot. And I loved the way they looked, and how their skin felt, and how nice it was to be close to their bodies. But with three or four exceptions, sex was always really a difficulty. I had some very sexual times in my life, but they only happened when my emotions had really been hyped up to fever pitch, either because I was crazy about someone, or because there was something very very intense - often negative - in our relationship.

And here's the thing ... I have never in my life fantasized about having sex with a woman. I literally don't know how to do make the thoughts come into my mind. My sexual fantasies have always been about having sex with guys ... but as a woman. That's what felt most natural and arousing to me. Still does.

So I wonder whether a G3 transsexual who acts heterosexual is necessarily, truly straight. Maybe she just wants to get as close as possible to the thing she wants to be. I know I almost never made love to a woman without part of me - often the largest part - wishing I was where she was. But since I couldn't be there, I had to make do with the next best thing.

And if I'm being honest, I know that a large element in my desire to transition is that I can't face going to my grave without ever once knowing what it feels like to have a man inside me.