Feeling very lonely...

[Xhianil]

You are a gamer so I know you must have a vivid imagination.  Picture the yelling as geese farts of different colors and let her quack away.  That is easy for me to say and it does sound like you are having a tough go of it.  You do have the resilience of youth and can likely imagine a much brighter future? 

Where would you like to live and work?  What kind of people float your boat?

I appreciate anyones need for privacy and a sense of security.  Play safe

If i smile cause of doing that a few might then proceed to yell more or hit me.

New Mexico or Colorado, i forget the town in Colorado but in New Mexico itd be somewhere close to Albuquerque but not in the city.

[Tessa James]

Honey no one has the right to hit you.  I guess you know that.  They are lucky I am not down there as I swing a mean purse.  Honestly tho I do not feel more violence is the answer but maybe State Childrens Services is.  I am guessing you are a minor so yes, you are very vulnerable to the adults around you.  You would want to be certain that any appeal for State assistance ensures your continued physical safety.  A very serious and consequential step but again, no one has the right to hit you.  You may have to keep your better smiles to yourself for awhile?

I lived in Colorado near Pikes Peak and think of it as another outdoor paradise.  I was a totally broke 17 yo soldier and my gang would go spelunking in the caves around there.  I can't believe, looking back, how gutsy or dumb we were.  The recent floods around there have likely rearranged the caves and creeks we played in.  Ya, life is change.

So you envision staying semi rural or country huh?  More fun places to run with a dog!

[Xhianil]

I think I'd rather stay, at least here i know how to act, somewhere else could be worse.

Bet it was fun at least! Thats what matters.

Yea, i do, and i plan to get a husky when i move!

[Tessa James]

OK, but knowing how to act in response to bad stuff means letting them off the hook for the time being maybe? 

Thrills, risks and adrenalin rushes are fun.  My last physical thrill sport was paraglidding.  Basically a controllable parachute that I launched off a big open hill in Oregon.  I was way afraid of heights and the falling thing.  I still wanted to fly and was too impatient to go thru flight school--plus that costs a bunch of time and money.  So after a weekend training course I got to really fly and OMG that was so excellent.  One of those peak life events for me.  Not sure if I am strong enough to try it again but it really did help me face my falling fears.

A husky huh.  I love their looks but you do know they are a sled dog, a working breed and often not as companionable as your little chi/pug mix?  You are likely knowledgeable about training techniques.  Even pit bulls can be the sweetest and friendliest dogs if trained with a consistently gentle touch.  Way too many folks want then to be tough and aggressive for all the wrong reasons.  How would a husky do in the heat?  Cool at night enough to run?

I look forward to you being free to move and be more of yourself.