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Stuff a cis female would deck you for, but makes us smile :)

Started by Lesley_Roberta, October 16, 2013, 01:38:03 PM

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KabitTarah

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 17, 2013, 07:23:59 AM
Everyone has weaknesses. A woman that has done case worker counseling for my wife and I for several years now, she's a LARGE girl. I'd be surprised if she could casually laugh off weight jokes.

Me, it's my education.

Some terms, they get used by both genders, but it is generally known the term does have a gender target. You don't call a male a c*nt, and you don't call a female a d*ck. A female is generally a b*tch while a male is generally an a*shole :)

Hey the best cooks are generally men, just need to watch TV. But, men are generally stuck in the hunter role, not the fire tending role.

Tailors are men but we do have seamstresses. It's just we are used to the notion that mom fixes your clothing, not dad.

Mom is assumed to be the person that does the dishes, dad is assumed to be the person the cuts the lawn.

But there all just chores, and if you are single, you get to do all of them.

And as it stands, the worst of the chores performance levels among my friends, have all been females :)

But I was raised in a cliche 50s home. Mom never cut the grass, and dad never did the dishes. Mom was a housewife, and dad worked. And I was so not raised in this century :)

My current cane screams out masculine. It has a handle designed to look like a handsaw. My mom mentioned it looked too dissimilar. I'm thinking of making a new topper for it to either look like a steam iron or a blender :) The thing is, the design needs to have a handle in the end. I realize my two choices are overly sexist seeming though. I just don't care :)

I love this... in part because my family (well before I came out) was the opposite.

My wife always mowed the lawn. I always cooked and cleaned the dishes (and kitchen, though poorly and infrequently). Those are just two examples, but overall I think our roles were pretty well reversed.
~ Tarah ~

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Jane's Sweet Refrain

Hi, I hope I am not repeating any ideas that people have already said, but these sexist comments are ironically confirming because when we MTF's became women, we did not do so to escape problems all together. I find so much affirmation in knowing that I share in the struggles other women have, whether it's loss of strength or loss of respect. When my friends joke around with me, I feel accepted in my identities both as a woman and as a transwoman. Context means so much. When we call each other "bitches," we are doing so because it's absolutely the last thing we are thinking at that point. Should the word and the concept be expunged from our society? Yes. In the meantime, is it better to use play to get  control and power over what oppresses us? You betcha.

Jane 
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Carlita

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 16, 2013, 09:32:52 PM
Missy likely is not aware I am the most male hating girl on the forum :)

But all the same, it is such a major hill to climb to be given credit for even being female for those of us that are MTF.

So that is why some of us who have truly good friends, will often goof around with us in silly forms of vintage male bad behaviours that are obviously as fake as the day is long.

Ok first off, even if I was a randy wench and would gladly drop his pants and help myself to his pride and joy as a thank you for yet again fixing some damned thing on my computer, the reality is my buddy A. would rather drop dead than let ME play with it, and B. he has no need to worry, because I'd rather have you pull the trigger on the gun aimed at my head, than do that for a man (unless I was married to him and he had previously done something to earn it, and let me tell you it would be expensive).

This isn't me saying sexual slurs are acceptable at all. It's me saying a good friend will know, that we face a seemingly daily battle up a very steep hill, and they will say silly things tailored to the person that that person will think is funny and make us laugh. As such, each of us will have our own special acceptable funny things that may well only be funny to us.

Believe me, there are things you better not say to me, but there are lots of things that will make me laugh too.
But generally speaking, most cis females don't need re affirmation of their being female.
This is all about TG people realizing we sometimes need to laugh at some of the stuff we never dreamed of needing to care about before.

Well said ... My closest male friend is always bemoaning the things that are going to happen as I transition ...

'You're going to start believing in horoscopes, aren't you?' ... 'You realise we won't be able to have a serious conversation once you're a chick ... All you'll want to talk about is diets.' ... 'Just don't start flashing your tits at me, OK?' Etc .. Etc ...

I always play along with the joke. 'You only say I'll like horoscopes because you're a Pisces' ... because what he's really saying is not that women are dumb, or can't have a proper conversation - he doesn't actually believe that for a second. He's letting me know that we're mates, and we'll continue to be mates, and that he'll support me during and after transition.

And I love him for that ...
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Sammy

The most hilarious thing my best male friend told me... That was shortly after I came out to him - I made quite a long lecture before actually leading him to the thing I wanted to say, like giving him chance to step out of our relationship if he would find the truth to be too shocking. Well, afterwards, he told me that he will keep in mind that I held for being close-minded xenophobic (now he knows the proper term - transphobic, lol) bigot, but luckily that was not the case. He told me that he has a lot of female friends and he is very cool about that and always defends them if anyone tries to say something bad behind their back.
I replied that we both know - and he cant deny - that all his female friends have been his lovers at some point of the time.
And he told me: "Dont worry! You will have to have the SRS first!"
At this point my jaw dropped and I just stared at him. Now, I probably would have mockingly slapped him... so that he would feel it a bit. It was sort of confirmation of my gender, but I also felt like a sex object for a couple of secs...


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KabitTarah

Quote from: Carlita on October 17, 2013, 08:46:01 AM
Well said ... My closest male friend is always bemoaning the things that are going to happen as I transition ...

'You're going to start believing in horoscopes, aren't you?' ... 'You realise we won't be able to have a serious conversation once you're a chick ... All you'll want to talk about is diets.' ... 'Just don't start flashing your tits at me, OK?' Etc .. Etc ...

I always play along with the joke. 'You only say I'll like horoscopes because you're a Pisces' ... because what he's really saying is not that women are dumb, or can't have a proper conversation - he doesn't actually believe that for a second. He's letting me know that we're mates, and we'll continue to be mates, and that he'll support me during and after transition.

And I love him for that ...

LOL... the first one of these I said myself on ->-bleeped-<- - shortly after coming out.

Re: <duck face photo> - wait... going on hormones doesn't mean I'll be forced to take selfies with a duck face, does it?!

of course the replies were yes.
~ Tarah ~

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Ms. OBrien CVT

Quote from: learningtolive on October 16, 2013, 10:57:24 PM
Is bitch really female oriented?  I don't know but I'm so used to hearing it for both genders.  My sister always says what's up bitch to me (in a playful way), so I always so it is gender nuetral.   My dad even used to call me his "little bitch"  (again playfully).  I feel like "guys" get called that as often as girls do nowadays.  But I guess when anger is placed behind it the meaning does change.

It is generally directed at women. 

Quote from: Dictionary.combitch  [bich]
noun
1. a female dog: The bitch won first place in the sporting dogs category.
2. a female of canines generally.
3. Slang.
     a. a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman.
     b. a lewd woman.
     c. Disparaging and Offensive. any woman.
4. Slang. a person who performs demeaning tasks for another; servant: Tom is so her bitch; she just ordered him to go fetch her some pizza—and he went without a word.
5. Slang. a convict who is in a homosexual relationship and/or dominant relationship willingly or unwillingly in the prison setting: The new inmate was immediately forced to be the bitch of the prison's top dog.

However it can refer to a subservient person.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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KabitTarah

Quote from: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 17, 2013, 11:19:30 AM
It is generally directed at women. 

However it can refer to a subservient person.

I think when women use this jokingly or in a "good" way, it's in that subservient meaning. There was a Friends episode where that came up.
~ Tarah ~

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vlmitchell

At first, comments of this sort made me smile inside and out a little because it was all "woo, so confirming!" but, yeah, I'm with the others who have been out a while. Once you get comfortable in your own skin, so to speak, you realize that these comments are just wisecracks and to treat them as what they are.

On the other hand, if anyone says something genuinely sexist and means it... I'm gonna hand them their ass on a platter... well, unless they're correct about some aspect of myself or another, I suppose. There are parts of my personality and self-discipline that fall into negative female stereotypes. When someone points these out, I generally just get petulant.  ;D
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Carlita

Quote from: kabit on October 17, 2013, 09:07:32 AM
LOL... the first one of these I said myself on ->-bleeped-<- - shortly after coming out.

Re: <duck face photo> - wait... going on hormones doesn't mean I'll be forced to take selfies with a duck face, does it?!

of course the replies were yes.

And have you taken any duck-face pics yet???

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on October 17, 2013, 11:51:05 AM
There are parts of my personality and self-discipline that fall into negative female stereotypes. When someone points these out, I generally just get petulant.  ;D

Haha! That's just the kind of 'typical bloody woman!' behaviour that my friend is worried about!  ;)
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gravebecky

I used to work in a video game store and generally at 5:30 we would have to clean up Hoover mopping etc. One day one of my mates walked by as I was hoovering and I said Jen would like to come in and finish the hoovering. Why would I do that. Because your a woman and don't ye all live for that stuff. Needless to say she was unimpressed. However a few days after I came out I was walking past her house and she comes tearing out. Tristan Tristan here's a mop and bucket go clean my house b#tch. Priceless laughter from me
This is what I think of when people give me their damning verdict: The Rock "It doesnt matter what you think. It just doesnt matter.
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vlmitchell

Quote from: gravebecky on October 17, 2013, 12:40:25 PM
However a few days after I came out I was walking past her house and she comes tearing out. Tristan Tristan here's a mop and bucket go clean my house b#tch. Priceless laughter from me

You. Totally. Had. That. Coming.
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KabitTarah

Quote from: Carlita on October 17, 2013, 12:22:24 PM
And have you taken any duck-face pics yet???

I'm not on HRT yet... what month does that usually show up at?
~ Tarah ~

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Jenna Marie

Yeah, I knew I'd settled into my new life when I became a humorless feminist. ;) Partly kidding, but partly true - when I noticed that the "little feeling of validation" at a sexist joke/comment had been *completely* replaced by annoyance, I knew I'd started to take it for granted that I was a woman.

Which is nice in its own way... but not as exciting as the early days.
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Lauren5

Someone said "that's what she said" at the transgender meeting to me.
Made my day :)
Hey, you've reached Lauren's signature! If you have any questions, want to talk, or just need a shoulder to cry on, leave me a message, and I'll get back to you.
*beep*

Full time: 12/12/13
Started hormones: 26/3/14
FFS: No clue, winter/spring 2014/15 maybe?
SRS: winter/spring 2014/15?
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Carlita

Quote from: kabit on October 17, 2013, 04:15:20 PM
I'm not on HRT yet... what month does that usually show up at?

I'll let you know when I get there!  :)
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KabitTarah

Quote from: Carlita on October 18, 2013, 05:21:57 AM
I'll let you know when I get there!  :)

I bet I can tell from the pictures!

The worst part of this conversation is... when the time comes, I'm going to have to take that selfie... even if just humorously.
~ Tarah ~

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