Should I tell the teacher that some of the things she says make me dysphoric?

[Brandon]

Or should I tell the counselor, Anyways I take a psychology class and the teacher is a really fun teacher and is the same one who knows I'm trans,, But she has a habbit of talking about sex because it can sometimes relate to the brain, But she still refers to me as a she, And some of the stuff she says is aimed at males, And the guys tend to joke around but I can't because I don't know how some of the stuff she talks about or her teaching us how to be parents today, Or about stds and telling the guys to wrap their willies, And the thing about it is everyone in their sees me as a female and I feel awkward because everyone thinks I'm just a lesbian or either they know I'm trans but thinks I'm weird, even though I know everyone in the room

[androidnick]

I remember you saying she calls you Brandon but I think that might have been in a private conversation. She might not be calling you "he" for your privacy. She might not know if you are out or whatever. I think she seems like a cool lady so if you talk to her and tell her you want her calling you he then I bet all would be fine. That being said you really shouldn't expect her to change her topics just cause it makes you dysphoric. Some of the things she is talking about are relevant to what she is teaching. Just take it in stride. We all know how it feels

[Nero]

I would mention the pronouns if you want. The other stuff about sex I wouldn't mention because it would just draw attention. And the more you move as male in the world, the more sex jokes and talk you'll hear, much of it centered around a certain organ. If you're stealth, you'll just have to endure it or look awkward. If you're not stealth, you don't want everyone watching what they say because they're remembering you have or don't have certain organs? right?
Either way, stealth or not stealth, you don't want to be the guy people can't talk freely around (that's what it'll seem like to them).

I know how dysphoric it can feel when people start talking about certain parts. But the alternative (everyone watching what they say - just highlights the fact you're different and reinforces it in their mind and yours) is worse. So, I would just try to get used to hearing sex talk that feels awkward or excluding given your situation.

[Brandon]

I remember you saying she calls you Brandon but I think that might have been in a private conversation. She might not be calling you "he" for your privacy. She might not know if you are out or whatever. I think she seems like a cool lady so if you talk to her and tell her you want her calling you he then I bet all would be fine. That being said you really shouldn't expect her to change her topics just cause it makes you dysphoric. Some of the things she is talking about are relevant to what she is teaching. Just take it in stride. We all know how it feels

No she calls me Brandon out loud she still refers to me as a she, It just messes up my mood, Like I can come feeling alright but then it just hits me like a slap in the face

[Brandon]

I would mention the pronouns if you want. The other stuff about sex I wouldn't mention because it would just draw attention. And the more you move as male in the world, the more sex jokes and talk you'll hear, much of it centered around a certain organ. If you're stealth, you'll just have to endure it or look awkward. If you're not stealth, you don't want everyone watching what they say because they're remembering you have or don't have certain organs? right?
Either way, stealth or not stealth, you don't want to be the guy people can't talk freely around (that's what it'll seem like to them).

I know how dysphoric it can feel when people start talking about certain parts. But the alternative (everyone watching what they say - just highlights the fact you're different and reinforces it in their mind and yours) is worse. So, I would just try to get used to hearing sex talk that feels awkward or excluding given your situation.

It's only when the teacher brings it up in class, And I was gonna do it in private

[androidnick]

It's only when the teacher brings it up in class, And I was gonna do it in private

I would talk to her about pronouns then. But again what she discusses in class is her business. Trust me it is better to just let it go. Besides I'm sure what she is teaching will be over soon enough.

[AdamMLP]

If she calls you Brandon and it's not your birthname then there shouldn't be any reason why she wouldn't call you by male pronouns if you ask her to.  However changing the syllabus for you isn't going to happen, and as FA said, male conversation is often about sex or their penises so it's just something you're going to have to get used to.  Even if the stuff around sex isn't written into the syllabus it's still important that people learn about it, because unwanted pregnancies and STDs can wreck lives.

[Brandon]

I would talk to her about pronouns then. But again what she discusses in class is her business. Trust me it is better to just let it go. Besides I'm sure what she is teaching will be over soon enough.

Well she brings it up alot though, We talk about everything in her class because were mature

[Brandon]

If she calls you Brandon and it's not your birthname then there shouldn't be any reason why she wouldn't call you by male pronouns if you ask her to.  However changing the syllabus for you isn't going to happen, and as FA said, male conversation is often about sex or their penises so it's just something you're going to have to get used to.  Even if the stuff around sex isn't written into the syllabus it's still important that people learn about it, because unwanted pregnancies and STDs can wreck lives.

I'm sure it can, But it's still not helping the dysphoria, I have no idea how to deal with the dysphoria, And I already that its gonna come alot but its still not gonna change anything

[aleon515]

I wouldn't assume bad things. My friends at my last job used "she" because they knew I was not "out" as male. But it might not even be so deep. YES I would talk to her and say you want her to use male pronouns (and tell her "he" and "him"). It sounds like she wants to be supportive, so I would say that you appreciate her being supportive but you need her to use male pronouns.

Keep in mind, that I have found pronouns are harder than names. My plumber knows me from before. He calls me Jay but will turn around and say "ma'am". It's very odd how this works. I think that the pronouns are more ingrained or something. Funny as I know he sees me as male. I am finding out more about pressure switches than I really want to know.

You need to watch your tone, as if you come off there the way you come across on the forums you might make someone mad at you. Work on approaching her politely and expecting a good response. If someone is generally supportive they will want to help you out if you enlist their assistance in a respectful way. If you act like you have a chip on your shoulder, you're going to get more enemies.

It sounds like some of the curriculum might be confusing to teach a trans kid. Perhaps you could talk directly about how you want the teacher to approach this. If you are really uncomfortable, it may be better for you to be exempted, though if this is  a legal class in your state (required for graduation), that might be harder to do. You need to know the teacher may be required to teach this stuff and may have little choice about that. I used to be a teacher. I can tell you that I always would respect a kid who could come to me with their concerns in a direct way.


--Jay