Extremely disappointed with the therapist. It gets worse in retrospective.

[Apples Mk.II]

I can't say I am happy with them. In fact, I am going to say that I have gotten no help from them, just bigger problems.


Let's see, my shrinks called me several times an "uncommon case with heightened levels of anxiety". Their solution was to shove down my throat as many antidepressants as possible. And things did not end well. let me share my history with you:

(each date is a therapy day. Not all of them appear.)

09/11/2012; Therapy begins
20/12/2012: I tell them about my first HRT experience and everything shatters. They give me more dates and change my med to the damn venlafaxine
22/02/2013: I am questioned about a lot of things. Why have I dropped the antidepressants, and why I am only  putting make up to go there. She asks me to please take the meds (I asked for a softer one) and wear at least a few items of make up and accessories every day
21/03/2013: Post family break up, I will be leaving home in 10 days. It's the first time I come in full female clothing despite presenting masculine, and with complete makeup. first time I am complimented on how good I did it. I tell the shinks that this time we hit the jackpot with the meds.
-----Living on my own------ I start putting makeup every day
26/04/2013: First time presenting female and getting them fairly impressed. The next day I present as female to my friends. She tries again to double my dosage
------------01/05/2013----------Now completely sure about my condition, I start low  grade HRT
------------01/06/2013---------- Medium dose HRT
14/06/2013: My last session before the end of the summer. This is when I get told that now she is completely sure about me, but she was not believing me the last time I saw her
04/07/2013: The missed appointment. It got delayed to august, and I skipped it after things worsened with my family
------------Abandoned the antidepressants gradually during August----------
06/09/2013: First mention of  seeing the endo very soon. Really satisfied about my appearance, inner peace. I'm not wearing wig anymore. My last time with breastforms. Lying about the antidepressants
17/10/2013: I'm promised that I won't be delayed because of my work and family anxiety, and we end a chapter with my family. We conclude that if they are still supporting me, not all hope is lost.

Let's see. These shrinks have a real issue with not listening to what I tell them. When I had my first major breakdown in October 2012, I was prescribed a low dosage of citalopram. The first thing she did was telling me I was taking next to nothing and double the dosage. I started getting really bad side effects including overall lethargy, emotional numbing... I got terribly frustrated. I dropped it and the cold turkey effects got mixed with the first HRT.

After the first clash with them, they gave me something even stronger, Venlafaxine. During those two months I entered into complete regression. Not only the GID seemd to go away. Everything else went too. Not to mention the insomnia, shiverings, sexual sides and overall disconnecting from reality. So I dropped again.

This was the second time they got pissed off. I asked for something softer (citalopram again), and the next visits I would tell them that this time we found the good one. I reunited enough guts to live on my own, and started transitioning at high speed.



Because well, I can't believe that  in June she had the guts of telling me that she was going to label me as fake and in a moment got convince after how much I improved  in just three months (From march to june, more or less). The real dirty truth:
- The high dosages of antidepressants she kept giving me delayed me constantly. Whenever something worked, she increased the dosages and problems started again.
- Transition was impossible with my parents since I had no privacy, I was in continuous vigilance, and there were not going to accept any changes. Removing them from my daily life was removing my limiter.


In the end I stopped with the antidepressants altogether. I just say I keep taking them, stash the prescriptions and whatever. I work better without them and just living by myself and HRT have been the best antidepressant. Now I am truly myself without anything chaining me. But seriously. If I had followed everything instruction they gave me, I don't think I would be where I am now.

[suzifrommd]

She asks me to please take the meds (I asked for a softer one) and wear at least a few items of make up and accessories every day

Major red flag, here. Your choice of how you express your gender should be yours, and yours alone. A therapist has NO BUSINESS telling you how to express your gender.

This was the second time they got pissed off.

Another red flag. A therapist who expresses anger at you is being unprofessional unless they later apologize for losing control. This is simply not an approved therapeutic technique.

Because well, I can't believe that  in June she had the guts of telling me that she was going to label me as fake and in a moment got convince after how much I improved  in just three months (From march to june, more or less).

A therapist that threatens to "label you as a fake" is making a power play. No therapist should use the ability to diagnose as a motivational tool. Determining whether your condition is "fake" or not is a professional responsibility, not a weapon to wield.

IMO, you're now firmly in "run the other way quickly" territory.

Just my opinion, but I share your concerns.

[Apples Mk.II]

IMO, you're now firmly in "run the other way quickly" territory.

Just my opinion, but I share your concerns.

Issue is that it's the only way of getting prescription HRT (cheaper) and obtaining the BA and GRS through healthcare (not mentioning the temporary ID and name / gender change without running into poverty with private therapists). Which means I am already paying for my boobs, and these guys are in the middle. It sucks a lot, and it's common knowledge that the UTIG's (the government GID services) Are feared and hated. In 30 minutes sessions I've never talked about how or what I feel, why I think I am female... blah blah blah. I practically tell them everything I have done, my latest exploits and vitories, and goodbye with a "You are doing it very well".

[Gina_Z]

Run away. Do whatever you need to do to find a good therapist. Currently I am searching for my first and hopefully last therapist.

[Apples Mk.II]

You know, it's quite pathetic. Two therapist see me alternating themselves, a general one and the head of the GID service. I get more from the general one (relaxation techniques, nicer aproach, etc) than from the head, which feels like a pretentious ->-bleeped-<-. But that's how things are here. I used to pay for my own shrink, but she nicely disappeared and was not in the mood of opening to another. But it was damn expensive, and with the costs of living by myself, that option does not exist anymore.


Hah. Can you believe that they told me that I could stop see in my pay shrink now that I was going to be with them? Oh and thinking about my old shrink, she opened Pandora's box before leaving (made me remember a lot of memories I had blocked and left me like crap).


Seriously, I hate therapists... Best therapy I could find was renting a flat and giving myself a lot of responsabilities.

[Apples Mk.II]

Good God.


Pissed off, I went to the hospital and requested a copy of my file with psychiatry / Gender Identity Disorders Unit.



There is no inform. I was hoping the letter would be there but no, there is nothing. They tell me that they will request the doctor to finish the inform, and to call back on friday.