surprise come out?

[YBtheOutlaw]

for months now i've been planning how i should come out. i've picked three groups out of the hundreds of people i know and i'll choose one of them to come out first. i've been imaging myself in different situations with them and visualized dozens of possible conversations of coming out. during the course, i noticed that if i tried to explain stuff from the beginning, like i felt this and that since childhood and you've noticed me doing this and that, you know this is called gender dysphoria and blah blah blah, they might not really believe me and try to talk me out of it, or take me to a psychologist to make me feel all female. they might think i'm imaging all that and that internet has ruined me. instead, i was thinking of a surprise come out, presenting as male all of a sudden and while they are baffled and ask me what happened i'd say that nothing happened and i'm perfectly fine, why did you ask and so on... or something like that. do you think it'd work? have any of you tried suprise coming out?

[Megumi]

One could say that all come out moments are that of surprise. I think it's pretty rare for a person to expect that you are transgender unless you make it blatantly obvious that are well before you come out. Quite honestly I wouldn't try surprising it on anyone. It's hard enough when things are done in a decently respectful way for everyone to cope with the new reality around them. I don't think being put on the spot in some kind of grand event would be the way to go.

The best thing to do though is be prepared, write a letter on your feelings. Rehearse your speech, then re read the letter over and over. Once you feel confident then look for the opportunity to come out.

Mine was a planned but spur of the moment come out after I was asked a simple question by my mom as I was helping my dad kill some bothersome flies in their house. All she had to do was ask, you look like there's something that is troubling you. It was the hardest moment in my life so far but I said yeah, I got a letter for you two to read and I don't know if you are going to like it but I have something important to tell you. I had planned on leaving the letter on their bed and sending them a text to read it after I had left if I didn't actually come out and tell them. Luckily I did tell them as it gave us a while to talk about everything, turns out they were cool about it but that coolness wont be for certain until I start the actual process of transitioning around them where I present myself as female.

Still coming out is the toughest thing ever, it took me 14 years after I knew what I was to tell my parents. I was scared so bad that I believed my fears were reality and would come true. It went away the instant they beckoned me over to have a group hug. It was an amazing moment but also a moment of great sadness for me as I waited so long to come out and how much different my life could be right now had I came out long ago when I was in my late teens instead of my late 20's. But that's life.

[Ltl89]

for months now i've been planning how i should come out. i've picked three groups out of the hundreds of people i know and i'll choose one of them to come out first. i've been imaging myself in different situations with them and visualized dozens of possible conversations of coming out. during the course, i noticed that if i tried to explain stuff from the beginning, like i felt this and that since childhood and you've noticed me doing this and that, you know this is called gender dysphoria and blah blah blah, they might not really believe me and try to talk me out of it, or take me to a psychologist to make me feel all female. they might think i'm imaging all that and that internet has ruined me. instead, i was thinking of a surprise come out, presenting as male all of a sudden and while they are baffled and ask me what happened i'd say that nothing happened and i'm perfectly fine, why did you ask and so on... or something like that. do you think it'd work? have any of you tried suprise coming out?

I'm confused on what surprise come out means?  All coming out stories are sort of a surprise as most people aren't expecting that.  I'm guessing you mean a casual or unplanned coming out?  In that case, different things for different people.  I think planning is a good thing, but I came out unexpectedly to my sister in tears because I couldn't keep it in.  I had a breakdown in front of her and dished out everything.  While I was scared to say those words, there was no holding them back.  Though, I've always been a creature of emotions.   I don't think that's the best "strategy" in most cases, but it did work for me and my sister, at least at that moment.  Nowadays we get along fine for the most part, but she has a difficult time adjusting and it hurts her to witness the changes.  My family is grieving big time and they are feeling everything you could imagine all at once.   Everyone handles things differently, but I would imagine your family would need time to adjust.  Think about how you would want your parents to come out to you?  Put yourself in their shoes.  Sometimes we have to be mindful of their feelings as well; although it's certainly a two way street and you should be true to yourself and not let them bully you into being something you aren't.  What I'm saying is that it helps to be sensitive to the feelings of others. Just consider whether dressing up in front of family is the best initial scenario for everyone involved.  I'll leave it up to you to judge because you know your family better than any of us.   

Good luck with whatever you decide.  You have our support!