Here in the Uk that sort of behaviour would never be considered acceptable from any sort of medical professional. This isnt just a minor annoyance, it's damn serious!
Apart from the obvious discourtesy there is the obvious point that this childish refusal to accept the changes that have gone on could put a patients life at risk - and I say that in all seriousness.
If someone who has never met you gets a letter about an ostensibly "male" patient and then you rock up they aren't going to be able to identify you as the patient - which could lead to an easy identity mix up with some innocent and unconnected young man.
Even as a student one of the first things I have to do when opening a consult is to positively identify that I have the right patient in front of me. This is done by name, DOB and sex. If any of those things fails to tally with what is on the notes then I have a problem... So this idiot clearly needs to join me back at med school and re-learn the basics of patient safeguarding!!!
For what its worth here in the UK he would certainly get a sharp rap on the knuckles from his professional body, particularly if you are post surgery, because that simple fact alone makes it doubly medically important. So don't put up with it. I suggest a formal letter of complaint pointing out the dangers and insisting that he apologise or risk further action.
