being labled as gay?

[KabitTarah]

Labels bore me I tend to ignore them.

Shifting labels are interesting to me (especially if they're shifting in the right direction).

I don't mind the "gay" label as a trans woman presenting male (as the original question asked, I believe...) -- I would definitely mind being labeled as gay (preferring men) as a transitioned woman (no idea if men are for me... but yeah, I'd mind it).

I have not yet been called out as gay, but I have a feeling I'm already being labelled that way. I'm actually, almost looking forward to it - except that it will probably come from someone not very accepting of LGBT+. Work is the most likely place, and even those who are against it probably wouldn't say it. I'm surprised nobody has asked on Facebook, though... there are definitely some questions going around.

[Emmaline]

To be honest, being labelled as gay bugs me too- but only in that it infers I am a man in its common usage.

I am a lesbian.  The L in lgbt.  I am a 'gay woman'...  but I am not a gay man.. the g in lgbt.  I am not a man.

To be totally honest I am not into guys, get icked out seeing men kiss each other (but killer proud they can and will fight for their right to do so  til my last breath) and cannot really imagine wanting to have sex with one. Uhg.
But, that said I am at peace with and open to everything HRT brings- and if I start to notice boys I am not going to freak out but embrace it as part of my true self.  No shame, just truth.

[Kaylee]

But, that said I am at peace with and open to everything HRT brings- and if I start to notice boys I am not going to freak out but embrace it as part of my true self.  No shame, just truth.

I wasn't expecting to notice men after HRT, totally came out of the blue.  I was a little freaked out at first but now I'm quite intrigued.  I don't think I could have a relationship with a man, but I'm certainly thinking it might be entertaining to have a bit of fun with one.

[angiegurl]

Let people think what they want. What really matters is what you think of yourself. If you want to be with a guy then so be it. I am just starting HRT and I find this interesting - the change in perspective I mean. I sometimes fantasize that I am with a man when I am with my wife. But that is me. This is something I will need to come to grips with as I move forward with transition - but that is my issue. Not my families, the cashier at the grocery store or the UPS guy (but he is cute  ).

Also, I think too many people have their nose's in other peoples business where it does not belong. They should start focusing on themselves first before focusing on others.

[Joanna Dark]

People assume I'm gay all the time but they mean a dyke. I love the penis tho I look like  a lesbo. But I know its the trans = gay man that bothers some. That goes away with passing. I woukdnt fight this battle its a losing one.

[A]

It's normal. If you really were okay with being gay you wouldn't be considering transitioning. Overreacting to someone saying you're gay and denying it like there's no tomorrow, now that might be homophobia in a way. But just not liking to be called gay, that's all right. It implies that you're a man, and if you feel like a woman, it's something you're ultimately not, probably. And being called something you're not just doesn't feel good.

However, right now you're into men and until you transition you're a man. Which technically makes you a gay man. So while it's okay not to like it, get used to it, because for now and for an undetermined period of time, it is true.

Besides, studies are starting to show that probably, androphilic (into men) transsexuals come from the same source as gay men, that basically a gay man might be someone with a slightly feminized brain, and that an androphilic transsexual has a more extensively feminized brain, which would in the end make androphilic trans women "so gay they're women".

So if those findings are confirmed, in the end, all of us straight trans women are technically speaking a kind of gay man, haha. I don't find it exactly thrilling to imagine either, but if it's what it is, then that's that. And well, to be honest, I do recognize myself a little in some gay men, even though I know I'm not quite the same.

(Don't worry about your rights and whatnot, though. Those were never based on some recognition that we are "true women inside" but on the simple fact that the only effective means of treatment is for us to transition, live and be recognized as female, which doesn't change.)

[Silvermist]

I detested the very thought of being perceived or labeled as a gay guy before I had my epiphany about being trans. I detest the very thought of being perceived or labeled as a gay guy even now. I have no problem with the notion of being gay; though I identify as bisexual, I don't care if people think that I'm lesbian. Heck, I'd proudly proclaim to be both lesbian and bisexual! I just hate being put into a box in which I don't belong. "Gay" is not just a label; it affects how people treat you. And I would rather be treated as a lesbian, a bisexual, and transsexual (with all of which I do identify) than as a gay man.

Probably what I hate the most is the misconception that gender non-conformity has anything to do with sexual orientation.

[Heather]

I detested the very thought of being perceived or labeled as a gay guy before I had my epiphany about being trans. I detest the very thought of being perceived or labeled as a gay guy even now. I have no problem with the notion of being gay; though I identify as bisexual, I don't care if people think that I'm lesbian. Heck, I'd proudly proclaim to be both lesbian and bisexual! I just hate being put into a box in which I don't belong. "Gay" is not just a label; it affects how people treat you. And I would rather be treated as a lesbian, a bisexual, and transsexual (with all of which I do identify) than as a gay man.

Probably what I hate the most is the misconception that gender non-conformity has anything to do with sexual orientation.

Are you trying to say that lesbian, bisexuals, and transsexuals are treated better than gay men? Let's look at from a straight cis perspective lesbian= gay bisexual=gay and in denial about it transsexual=really really gay! Any way you look at society looks at us as gay and to be honest they really can't tell the difference between us all they see is gay. 

[A]

Nope, pretty sure she's saying they're treated differently and she wants to be treated like something she feels she is rather than something she feels she isn't.

[Sammy]

To be totally honest I am not into guys, get icked out seeing men kiss each other (but killer proud they can and will fight for their right to do so  til my last breath) and cannot really imagine wanting to have sex with one. Uhg.

Yup . I am totally not turned on by seeing two men kissing each other, but it is absolutely none of my business and I dont care about other people's sexual preferences (unless they are really weird, of course). At the same time I can imagine myself having fun with one of the guys - thank you HRT! - (because this is totally different thing), but similarly as one of the previous posters - I am not convinced about relationship part yet.

[Jill F]

LGBT.

You could make a case for describing me as all of the above.

BFD. 

Why should anyone else concern themselves?  That's just creepy.

I'll just go on being me.

[Silvermist]

Nope, pretty sure she's saying they're treated differently and she wants to be treated like something she feels she is rather than something she feels she isn't.

Yes, thank you. There absolutely are differences between how lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals are perceived and treated. Just look at the stereotypes and the derogatory language. One would have to be living under a rock to think that society views lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals as all the same. And just to clarify, when I say that they're treated differently, I don't mean "inferior" or "superior" treatment. I just mean different treatment.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

If you really were okay with being gay you wouldn't be considering transitioning.

I am sorry but that just isnt so, and to say that infers that people only transition to get away from being gay.

I had the gay man label before. It didn't bother me, actually I miss it a little, now I am a 'regular' straight girl. I am into men though and that is how it is. I was comfortable being 'gay', just I am a girl, so now I am, erm, not gay. Whatever huh?

[KabitTarah]

I am sorry but that just isnt so, and to say that infers that people only transition to get away from being gay.

I had the gay man label before. It didn't bother me, actually I miss it a little, now I am a 'regular' straight girl. I am into men though and that is how it is. I was comfortable being 'gay', just I am a girl, so now I am, erm, not gay. Whatever huh?

Yeah... this. The two are entirely unrelated. One person can like men, women, or both (and to varying degrees), be OK with that and its label, and still be transgender. I'm solidly questioning, but currently prefer women - why should that be more (or less) ok than being a confirmed trans woman who's solidly lesbian or hetero? Others' labels are, to each of us, either a truth, a convenience, or a cause of strife... (if one cares at all).

For me, the "gay male" label is a convenience of transition - even if I always prefer women. Perhaps that helps to lessen what other gay men are (or hetero preferred trans), but I'm not seeking out the label, I'm just realizing that it's what most people will begin to assume before they realize (or, more likely, are told) that I'm transgender. For Akira the "gay male" label defined her for a time and it's ok to miss it. I know I'll miss the straight male label . . . but I'm already seeing that the "queer with broken family" label is a pretty crappy one all around.

[Sibila]

I dont understand a lot of transwoman.

When you as a transwoman like woman then that means your gay!

Also... it is a COMPLIMENT when they perceive you as gay because the gay stereotype is naturally feminine.
What would you want then? To be compared to tough firefighters, army generals, pilots and womanizers?

Its exactly these last things that completely deny that one is a woman from birth.
Because it makes no sense at all.
No one in their right mind is able to understand that.

Also, not wanting to be compared to gay men... betrays a homophobic tendency which is not at all feminine.
In fact, its very straight and masculine and macho.

I for one, do not want to be compared to such transwoman anymore. For obvious reasons.
They make my life and the prejedice harder then it already is.

[Sibila]

Oh and I wonder how many ciswoman would have been able to live happily and succesfully as males from birth.
The effects of nurture have been proven wrong when it comes to the transgendered and gay people...
But a lot of transwoman seem to want to explain all psychological masculinity as nurture, which of course
can be proven wrong. But that does not happen
that truth is not "convenient"

[KabitTarah]

Oh and I wonder how many ciswoman would have been able to live happily and succesfully as males from birth.

None! I really want to make this point to cis women and men, but I have no idea how to explain it. I doubt it could be explained...

I've been getting, from some of the women in the family who know, those sidelong comments that all women seem to make... how having a penis is just easier, how being a man is easier. I don't know if it's just something they'd have otherwise said or if it's directed to me in some way - I'll assume the former. Each and every one of these women would absolutely freak out if they were suddenly 100% male bodied. Oh sure - you'd get the "enjoy it for a time" crowd, but eventually, when the reality (and hormones) set in, they'd be exactly where we are now.

The same goes for men... only doubly so - since they'd actually be underprivileged for once.

It's a cis failing that nearly all of them can't understand what they have always had... and it's difficult (or even impossible for some) to teach this to them.

[A]

I am sorry but that just isnt so, and to say that infers that people only transition to get away from being gay.

I had the gay man label before. It didn't bother me, actually I miss it a little, now I am a 'regular' straight girl. I am into men though and that is how it is. I was comfortable being 'gay', just I am a girl, so now I am, erm, not gay. Whatever huh?

I'm really sorry, but I don't understand your message very well.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I'm really sorry, but I don't understand your message very well.

You said "If you really were okay with being gay you wouldn't be considering transitioning." Maybe I am reading this wrong, but to me that says that if one were comfortable with ones sexuality then there would be no reason to do this.

My point is that it is quite possible that ones gayness or not doesn't bother someone and that they still choose to transition. For people who are attracted to the same gender that they designated at birth and would be labelled as gay if they did not transition, transition is not always to 'not-be-gay'. If someone is 'gay' in the gender they are transitioning from, the reason to transition should not be for this reason at all.

I was designated male at birth, I like guys. I was OK with that and the gay label did not bother me. Still, I transitioned because my gender is separate. 

Suggesting that selecting one's sexuality is a valid reason to change gender, and your statement, at least to me, suggests that this is the only reason one would want to do this, is silly. Try imagining anyone saying that they didn't want to change gender but they did so only because they wanted to be gay :-)

[A]

Oh. I see. That's not quite what I meant. In "being gay" the big implied factor was "being male". Indeed transitioning because you don't wanna be gay is quite silly.