Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I'm officially out to my boss. I think that, strategically, it's a pretty safe bet, but...
Warning: This is not the safest thing to do, particularly at the beginning of transition. In this instance, I *think* I'm ok, but I'm still as nervous as hell.
The situation is as follows... I am a contract employee, contracting *through* another contract employee. Therefor my boss is a contractor. We have an excellent rapport and he thinks highly of me and my abilities. Also, his position would potentially be weakened if he were to lose me, he has gained a great deal of status as a result of bringing me in, and is using that to increase the size of his company.
Anyway, I had missed a day last week and a day this week due to being sick (legit, stomach bug that has apparently morphed into the flu). When I came in to work today after seeing my therapist, my boss pulled me aside and told me how respected I am, etc., but that I really needed to keep my hours up to 40 per week, because if not they might get in trouble with the client. OK, mea culpa, I'll try to come in regardless of how bad I'm feeling for a few weeks until the heat is off. It's not like they pay for hours I don't work, but the area has stiff competition for available jobs and I've got an at-will contract.
I would have left it at that, but my boss then said, "Is everything ok at home? Remember, if you want to talk to me about anything I'm available."
I had already been wrestling with a guilty conscience working without being honest with my boss, knowing that I planned to quit as soon as my year was up and pursue employment in a more transition-friendly company. My intuition/God/the Universe/whatever told me that now was the time to tell him; if there was any chance of preserving a professional relationship with him during/after HRT then now was the time to talk. Waiting longer would provide nothing but more reason for distrust, and would make it appear that I didn't trust him.
So I did.
His reaction was by far the most surprised of anyone I've told so far. He was concerned for me, wanted to be sure I was certain. I told him about the therapy, about how I'd lived in deep denial, and how I finally had a vision for my future. I helped him understand this was not some crazy rushed decision, but that it had been brewing all my life, and how it was vital to my health and well-being to transition.
At the end of it, we're agreeing to keep it under wraps with the client company for now, because it is possible another opportunity elsewhere might present itself. He says he can't speak for the client; they may be accepting and they may not, but agrees with me that now is not the time to test those waters. He appreciated my honesty with him, and told me that I'm a hell of a programmer and that won't change, in his view. I'm a productive member on his team and he wants to keep it that way.
So... relieved for now... time will tell whether or not I did the right thing, but I feel I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances and maintain my self-respect.
So... any thoughts? And, just in case, does anyone know someone who needs a girl who is more than a bit awkward, but can write software on just about anything for just about any purpose? Work-from-home positions preferred...
