Restlessness, Angst and A Little More Attention

[Lexicon]

Hey Fellas,

I had my third injection today and I've noticed a few things.  My voice is acting funny, for one.  But the most noticeable thing I've experienced is driving me crazy.

I'm restless and angsty.  I know that's not a word but it's the best I can do.  I notice that I have A LOT more energy now that I started, which may be T but it also may just be a release from finally making a decision to start.  Over the last 14 days I've been at the gym 8 of them.  It's the only thing that seems to help.

My kids are happy because I have so much more energy to play with them but inside I feel restless all the time.  I feel more focused, grounded, solid, etc. but this extra energy has me wanting to be doing something all the time which isn't really conducive to my desk job.  It's not just my body, it's my mind.  I want to be engaged and the gym is the only I've found that releases the pent up energy. I've also noticed a huge increase in my sex drive and more frightening is the increased response from straight and bi women.

If I'm being honest, I think working out is the only thing that's keeping my mind on one damn track.  I already had an overactive sex drive and am known to be really flirtatious, but I've always been faithful and monogamous with my partner of 3 years.  This last week in particular I've really noticed myself "noticing" more women and being more noticed and the impulse to engage with someone on that level is increasing. 

My partner and I have three kids and we both work full time so we have a fairly typical sex life of a married couple with three kids.  She's aware of the changes I'll experience theoretically but the increase of my sex drive without an increase in our activity is gonna be really hard if this is only a sign of things to come. 

Not sure what I'm looking for but wondering if anyone else is experiencing similar stuff.  Trying hard to wrap my brain and heart around my new emotional and physiological world. 

[Jessica Merriman]

Going the reverse way baby I am glad to be getting "T" out of my system. It sure does all of what you describe. With "E" on board I think I will finally take a nice slow vacation. I will not miss the being wired and alert all of the time. If it wasn't for the Fire Department "T" might have been my undoing, but all of the physical work did to me what you are trying in the gym. "T" is a wild ride. Good luck baby! 

[Lexicon]

Going the reverse way baby I am glad to be getting "T" out of my system. It sure does all of what you describe. With "E" on board I think I will finally take a nice slow vacation. I will not miss the being wired and alert all of the time. If it wasn't for the Fire Department "T" might have been my undoing, but all of the physical work did to me what you are trying in the gym. "T" is a wild ride. Good luck baby! 

Thanks, I really appreciate the response!

In some ways I'm relieved to know that it's "normal" and in others more anxious for what's next! Appreciate your time and kindness

Lex

[chuck]

Hey
Well Ive been on T for 10 ish years and also feel the need to be doing something most of the time. The gym also helps me to focus and be less overactive. The sex drive thing settled down for me though after a few years. ITs managable at this point.

My advice is to just enjoy your work outs and just be aware of the changes that are happening and why they are happening.

[Lexicon]

Hey
Well Ive been on T for 10 ish years and also feel the need to be doing something most of the time. The gym also helps me to focus and be less overactive. The sex drive thing settled down for me though after a few years. ITs managable at this point.

My advice is to just enjoy your work outs and just be aware of the changes that are happening and why they are happening.

Thanks Chuck, really appreciate that.

I guess I'll just settle in to my new life as a gym rat

[aleon515]

T is a wild ride. Truer words were never spoken.


--Jay

[Arch]

When I started taking Wellbutrin for my depression, I felt as if the entire world had slowed down. I would turn my head, and the world didn't keep up. It was a weird effect, like time-lapse photography. I had to wait until what I was seeing caught up with where my eyes were. I was vibrating all the time, too. Literally buzzing.

After a while, I acclimated. I could see properly, I stopped vibrating, I could sleep. I was in synch with the world.

When I went off Wellbutrin, I had the opposite effect; I couldn't keep up. My thinking was sluggish. I couldn't get motivated, and I couldn't keep up. Freeway driving was horrible; everyone moved so fast that I couldn't track the other cars. After a few months, the effects subsided or I acclimated.

T was a lot like that. My sex drive went through the roof; it went down after a year or so, and I have even more control now. I was super jittery and couldn't sit still; I'm still less relaxed than I was before T, but I've calmed down some since then. As for the rest of the effect, I just live with it. It has become my new normal. I am still learning how to deal with my new reality, but some of that is situational, and T just heightens effects caused by other things.

Still, I wouldn't want to relive that first couple of years. It's a good thing you have the gym.

[Lexicon]

When I started taking Wellbutrin for my depression, I felt as if the entire world had slowed down. I would turn my head, and the world didn't keep up. It was a weird effect, like time-lapse photography. I had to wait until what I was seeing caught up with where my eyes were. I was vibrating all the time, too. Literally buzzing.

After a while, I acclimated. I could see properly, I stopped vibrating, I could sleep. I was in synch with the world.

When I went off Wellbutrin, I had the opposite effect; I couldn't keep up. My thinking was sluggish. I couldn't get motivated, and I couldn't keep up. Freeway driving was horrible; everyone moved so fast that I couldn't track the other cars. After a few months, the effects subsided or I acclimated.

T was a lot like that. My sex drive went through the roof; it went down after a year or so, and I have even more control now. I was super jittery and couldn't sit still; I'm still less relaxed than I was before T, but I've calmed down some since then. As for the rest of the effect, I just live with it. It has become my new normal. I am still learning how to deal with my new reality, but some of that is situational, and T just heightens effects caused by other things.

Still, I wouldn't want to relive that first couple of years. It's a good thing you have the gym.

This is super helpful. I know I need to adjust to my new 'normal', thanks for the reminder.  That feels like the hard part to me, rememberingt hat it won't always feel this overwhelming and that as my body adjusts so will my mind.

Thanks for the sanity check

[Arch]

Hey, no problem. I remember saying frantically to my therapist, "What if I'm always like this, as in FOREVER??!!"

Some trans friends told me that the sex drive would go way down in about six months. It took at least a year before I felt a reduction in my passions, and I do have a much stronger sex drive even now--and even though I'm on a lower dose now. Clearly, we all vary quite a bit.

Other guys told me unequivocally that T doesn't ramp you up, it CALMS YOU DOWN!!!!! (Three or four guys at a meeting said this to me, in an almost perfectly timed chorus, with GREAT vehemence and conviction. A couple of them were leaning forward aggressively when they said it. Um.) Sorry, dudes, but I'm just reporting MY effects. And if those guys are calmer now (they might well be, or maybe they are in denial), they must have been quite a handful before T.

YMMV, but you can always adjust your dose if you feel too sexy or too hyped up or too hungry. Cis males don't really have that option, so I guess it's something to be thankful for.

AND YOU HAD BETTER BE!!! <leaning forward aggressively>

[Lexicon]

YMMV, but you can always adjust your dose if you feel too sexy or too hyped up or too hungry. Cis males don't really have that option, so I guess it's something to be thankful for.

AND YOU HAD BETTER BE!!! <leaning forward aggressively>

Hahaha this part made me laugh. I think in the sense of my aggression, I am much calmer.  I was certainly a handful, to say the least.  I've had a chip on my shoulder most of my life and I think just the shear relief of having made a decision has calmed me down, but who the hell knows

I am certainly grateful!