I lost it

[Joe.]

Thanks for all your suggestions,  they're great.

FTMDiaries, those are really good ideas. I don't have a DeviantArt account. I've looked into getting one before, but it looked too confusing. Now would be the perfect time to create one I think. As for photographing things, I have a camera I never use, so now would also be a great time to start getting snap happy and it gets me out of the house.

Robinmack, thank you for the idea. Susan's is a lot like that for me rather than facebook. I have a facebook in my legal name as I'm full time and don't really care who sees it. Susan's is my safehaven.

Chaos, thanks for your message. I only came across the make up when clearing out some old boxes, I thought I had got rid of all make up, jewellery and clothes a few months ago. I can't part with photos or things from my childhood. I loved my childhood and I was really happy. I don't mind seeing photos of me as a 5 year old in a dress my parents chose because I was happy and what I wore didn't matter because I didn't chose it. The photos that bother me are the ones from my teenage years where I had a choice in what I wore but didn't feel comfotable enough to completely be myself. I see the pain of how hard I tried. The photos where I was aged 10 show I clearly wasn't happy as a girl, I think the majority of my wardrobe was boys clothing at that age. I'm not ashamed of my childhood, I had the best childhood I could ever dream of. I'm happy to keep the important stuff from my past in a special box and look back at it from time to time when I feel comfortable in doing so.

Thanks again everyone

[Chaos]

Thanks for all your suggestions,  they're great.

Chaos, thanks for your message. I only came across the make up when clearing out some old boxes, I thought I had got rid of all make up, jewellery and clothes a few months ago. I can't part with photos or things from my childhood. I loved my childhood and I was really happy. I don't mind seeing photos of me as a 5 year old in a dress my parents chose because I was happy and what I wore didn't matter because I didn't chose it. The photos that bother me are the ones from my teenage years where I had a choice in what I wore but didn't feel comfotable enough to completely be myself. I see the pain of how hard I tried. The photos where I was aged 10 show I clearly wasn't happy as a girl, I think the majority of my wardrobe was boys clothing at that age. I'm not ashamed of my childhood, I had the best childhood I could ever dream of. I'm happy to keep the important stuff from my past in a special box and look back at it from time to time when I feel comfortable in doing so.

Thanks again everyone

Oh i know man.That part about the photos was me so no worries alright? i personally did throw out my photos other then the real young ones *baby to toddler* and even though many may say *but why do that?* my kid to teen years and young adult,were my worst times and the ones i want to let go of.this is about YOU and doing whats best for you and if thats part of it then i encourage you to do so.And im happy that you were comfortable and happy during those times,many arent so lucky.Keep your head up and do whats best for you,dont let anything pull you down okay?

[aleon515]

I find my old photos affirming in a weird sort of way. I even have a couple out where I see them all the time. (Though they are kind of different I suppose-- one is at Space Camp and one is swimming with dolphins where you see more dolphin than me). I don't really look like a male, but I have such an androgynous look most of my life. The only exception is when my mom had total control of what I wore. I had a very adventurous childhood, and not particularly gendered (except for school). I don't really like the little school girl pix that my dad seemed to like. But there are many of me as a cowboy, swimming without a top, and so on.

--Jay