Differences between our lives and the cisgendered's?

[Nero]

Hello guys and dolls.
What are the differences between our lives and the lives of cisgendered people?
Beyond the obvious.
Beyond the fact that we were born in the bodies of the opposite sex.
Beyond transition.

I've always said that cisgendered people start at the beginning of the race, while I have a whole other race to run before I even arrive at the starting line.

Your thoughts?

Nero

[Jeannette]

Hello guys and dolls.
What are the differences between our lives and the lives of cisgendered people?
Beyond the obvious.
Beyond the fact that we were born in the bodies of the opposite sex.
Beyond transition.

Nero

Beyond what you have cited, there's no difference at all.

[Nikki]

They take everything for granted, we take nothing for granted.

[RebeccaFog]

great question, Bub!

   I think the cisgendered as a group are not as introspective as we are.  And, (<--- note the use of a conjunction), as Nikki said, they take everything for granted.  They just assume that everyone else is like them.    The snotty bastrads 

[Laura Eva B]

Hey,

What's this "cisgendered" thing all about ?  Why do we have to invent new words for the majority of "normal ?" men and women  ?

What's wrong with saying "non-trans", "natal", "born", if we really need to differentiate ?

Took me ages to figure out that "cis" was the opposite of "trans" (naiive me was trying to think of an acronym rather than to think back to Latin class at school !) ... most non-trans people would draw an absolute blank if you said cisgender !

Lets not be so vain as to think that as a minority we have to invent new words to re-label 99% of the population to make us feel "equal" (we're "trans", so let them be "cis" - a touch paranoid, not ?).

Rant over, and no offense to anybody  !

To the point, the big difference is that we can never see ourselves in the way natal guys do ... our history, our pain, our transition, knowing that we're "different", is always in the back of our minds ... can never be eradicated  .... ....

Inventing new words will never hide this reality.

Laura x

[RebeccaFog]

Hey,

What's this "cisgendered" thing all about ?  Why do we have to invent new words for the majority of "normal ?" men and women  ?

What's wrong with saying "non-trans", "natal", "born", if we really need to differentiate ?

Took me ages to figure out that "cis" was the opposite of "trans" (naiive me was trying to think of an acronym rather than to think back to Latin class at school !) ... most non-trans people would draw an absolute blank if you said cisgender !

Lets not be so vain as to think that as a minority we have to invent new words to re-label 99% of the population to make us feel "equal" (we're "trans", so let them be "cis" - a touch paranoid, not ?).

Laura x

actually, I prefer to think of them as "norms", "straights", or "the evil majority".  Hoo Ha!   

    uh oh, I feel another thread coming on.

[Shana A]

We're all human. I try to get to know the person, not the label, and to find what we share in common. I have "straight" friends who completely accept me and with whom I'm very close, and I know GLBTIQ folks with whom I have nothing in common except membership in the queer community.

zythyra

[Laura Eva B]

Not to divert this thread onto a "to be" or "cis-not to be" argument, my in topic point was -

To the point, the big difference is that we can never see ourselves in the way natal guys do ... our history, our pain, our transition, knowing that we're "different", is always in the back of our minds ... can never be eradicated  .... .... 

Laura x

[Laura Elizabeth Jones]

great question, Bub!

   I think the cisgendered as a group are not as introspective as we are.  And, (<--- note the use of a conjunction), as Nikki said, they take everything for granted.  They just assume that everyone else is like them.    The snotty bastrads 

Yep, that is the truth.

[Laura Eva B]

We're all human. I try to get to know the person, not the label, and to find what we share in common. I have "straight" friends who completely accept me and with whom I'm very close, and I know GLBTIQ folks with whom I have nothing in common except membership in the queer community.
zythyra

I find it really really hard to identify with "GLB", so have always been dismayed by being lumped in as "GLBT", but jeez, what is "GLBTIQ" ?



Laura x

[Shana A]

I find it really really hard to identify with "GLB", so have always been dismayed by being lumped in as "GLBT", but jeez, what is "GLBTIQ" ?

Laura,

I- intersexed
Q- queer (I've also heard some use Q for questioning)

I probably forgot a few other letters 

zythyra

PS, I'd never heard the term cisgendered previously to joining this forum.

[Nero]

I guess I've failed at conveying the question properly.
I'm not trying to separate anyone into groups or anything. I'm just curious as to what it means to be cisgender ('non trans' for Laura ).

[Nero]

However, if I do some soul searching, I could say that after the cake is baked, the difference is that we are luckier than they are.

tink

Interesting. Why?

[Nero]

However, if I do some soul searching, I could say that after the cake is baked, the difference is that we are luckier than they are.

tink

Interesting. Why?

My happiest and saddest moments in my life are related/linked to my transsexuality.  Personally, I think that my experiences have made me a wiser person who sees the world in so many different ways that a cisgender person could never experience in his/her lifetime.

tink

Well, when you put it that way, it's true. I've experienced things that a cisgendered man or woman never will.

[RebeccaFog]

My happiest and saddest moments in my life are related/linked to my transsexuality.  Personally, I think that my experiences have made me a wiser person who sees the world in so many different ways that a cisgender person could never experience in his/her lifetime.

tink

Well, when you put it that way, it's true. I've experienced things that a cisgendered man or woman never will.

I'm with Tink on this one.

[Laura Eva B]

However, if I do some soul searching, I could say that after the cake is baked, the difference is that we are luckier than they are.

tink

Interesting. Why?

My happiest and saddest moments in my life are related/linked to my transsexuality.  Personally, I think that my experiences have made me a wiser person who sees the world in so many different ways that a cisgender person could never experience in his/her lifetime.

tink

Luckier   ?

My transsexuality is / was a curse that has caused tremendous pain and anxiety for me, and for my mum and family, caused me to waste the best years of my life in trying to "hide behind a mask".  Denied me serious relationships (how could I without revealing all, something I was so afraid to do, as I knew where it would lead, and it was a journey I was so absolutely afraid of ?). 

And worst of all it denied me children as knowing how I felt I could never deceive myself or a partner by "acting" the role of heterosexual male, a husband, and the "father figure" that it would have demanded  .

My awaking dream this morning was that I was playing with a 1 year old baby, and was cradling him in my arms, and he was my child, mum's grandchild, and my mum and aunts were so proud of me "mum and baby" .... sadly it will / can never happen .... <sob    > .... as I down another glass of wine ....

Lucky ?

Laura x

[Manyfaces]

Personally, I think that my experiences have made me a wiser person who sees the world in so many different ways that a cisgender person could never experience in his/her lifetime.

tink

I think everyone is deepened and made wiser by whatever kinds of struggle, difficulty, obstacles, personal challenges, etc. arise in the course of their lives, and that is simply part of being human, and growing as a person.  Whatever your life contains, how you deal with it affects you.  I don't think any particular group of people or any particular set of experiences has a corner on this.  For example, I have a friend and a brother who were both in Vietnam, and their lives, and themselves, were profoundly and irrevocably changed by that experience. 

Now, I'll never have that particular experience, or even a similar one.  I'm just saying, we all have our own particular set of battles to fight in life, and some of us will have more than others and of vastly different kinds.  I agree with the concept, I'm just saying I don't think it makes us special, or necessarily any wiser than anyone else. 

It just makes the lens through which we view life unique to us and lends us similarity as a group, and yet for each one of us, the whole of our lives and the cumulative experiences we have had will still make us in many important and interesting ways vastly different from one another.

Yay for the varieties and vagaries of life!

[tinkerbell]

Yay for the varieties and vagaries of life!

Seconded!

tink

[Laura Eva B]

I'll go for "wiser" than cis (non-tras), but "luckier" no no way .....

As I said before, the big difference is our knowlege of a past that will be with us forever.

We will never take our gender for granted, whereas non-trans people (the world around us) never ever question their gender, their sexuallity maybe, but gender is kind of "innate" ....

Laura x

[Nero]

Personally, I think that my experiences have made me a wiser person who sees the world in so many different ways that a cisgender person could never experience in his/her lifetime.

tink

I think everyone is deepened and made wiser by whatever kinds of struggle, difficulty, obstacles, personal challenges, etc. arise in the course of their lives, and that is simply part of being human, and growing as a person.  Whatever your life contains, how you deal with it affects you.  I don't think any particular group of people or any particular set of experiences has a corner on this.  For example, I have a friend and a brother who were both in Vietnam, and their lives, and themselves, were profoundly and irrevocably changed by that experience. 

Now, I'll never have that particular experience, or even a similar one.  I'm just saying, we all have our own particular set of battles to fight in life, and some of us will have more than others and of vastly different kinds.  I agree with the concept, I'm just saying I don't think it makes us special, or necessarily any wiser than anyone else. 

It just makes the lens through which we view life unique to us and lends us similarity as a group, and yet for each one of us, the whole of our lives and the cumulative experiences we have had will still make us in many important and interesting ways vastly different from one another.

Yay for the varieties and vagaries of life!

I get your point, Rob, but I believe that we were dealt the worst hand possible. Sure, everyone goes through hardships. It is a part of being human, but I think being born as the wrong sex is way beyond what any human should have to endure.