I Was "Ma'am"ed!!!!

[rhonda13000]

[laughing with sheer delight]

That was sooooo cooool!!! 

I had gone to the store after work, in order to buy my barbecued chicken and I was in line at the cashier station.

Why is that every time that I get in line, someone ahead of me causes some irritating or inconsiderate delay, such as waiting until they get to the register and then fumbling through their purse for the checkbook, fumbling for a pen and taking 57.956 years to write out the entire check??!? 

But I just shook my head and forced myself to be 'the lady', while thinking #$#$@#^$$*&%*%$&^%#$%#$#@%^.

So I tuned out and put the mind in 'idle' [very easy to do anymore] and after a while I heard,

"Ma'am?....Ma'am? I can help you over here."

Given that I am unaccustomed to being addressed with the proper pronoun or gender designator, I was caught off guard and the mind was processing at 'warp speed',

"Indeed; she is talking to me." 

I was soooo tickled and validated by this!!! 

Things like this truly have inestimable value, do they not? 

[RebeccaFog]

Good for you, Rhonda,

   It's nice to see you are presenting as the woman you've struggled so hard to become.  I hope this type of thing becomes the norm.

   So, were you dressed casual? or did you put some thought into your appearance before leaving the house?



Love,

Rebecca

[rhonda13000]

Good for you, Rhonda,

   It's nice to see you are presenting as the woman you've struggled so hard to become.  I hope this type of thing becomes the norm.

   So, were you dressed casual? or did you put some thought into your appearance before leaving the house?



Love,

Rebecca

"Utilitarian" feminine casual; I was very tired and knew that I would likely have to fight traffic just to get dinner, after stopping home from work in order to change.

I had no make-up on, no bra [the surgeon ordered me not to wear them for the next few days], a blue sleeveless compression top and a sleeveless light jacket [in the interests of decency], my Calvin Klein jeans, one of my pretty watches and my favorite purse.

I honestly wasn't even expecting to hear something like this; I was on a 'mission': get my food, refuel, go back home and chill.

I was really taken aback, Rebecca!

[AnnieE]

I get mistaken for a girl all the time. I've even been asked if I was a ftm. I could kiss those people. I love being called girly.

[Laura Eva B]

I get mistaken for a girl all the time. I've even been asked if I was a ftm. I could kiss those people. I love being called girly.

Annie, what's the "mistake" about people taking you for a girl  ?

Rhonda, shows you should take a bit more care, and the "ma'ams" and "madams" will begin to flow ... getting "ma'amd" when bedraggled after a long day at work and dressed androgynously is a terrific sign !

I think if you get "sir'ed" when giving out mixed signs (masculine build, unisex clothing, short hair) then its usually a sign of confusion ... spare a thought for the poor shop assistant who doesn't want to insult but is genuinely unsure about how you want to be seen.

If you get "sir'ed" when very obviously presenting as female (and I don't mean being in a skirt or dress !) then you know its a plain insult - luckily it never happened to me even once.

Years ago as a teenager in school I got some new narrow rimmed spectacles ... one of the guys on seeing me in them for the first time commented loudly in front of everyone "those glasses make you look even more like a girl than usual !".

He meant it as an insult and "put down" but it made me feel sooo good  !!!

Laura x

[melissa90299]

I still remember that first ma'am three year ago. To those of us who lived many years pretending to be guys and who were never mistaken for a girl. (Well, I was when I was pre-school but the School Sisters of Notre Dame whipped any of that out of me real quick) this is a really big deal. What's nice is when you hear ma'am and it's just normal. At 58, it still makes me feel good though when I get called Miss or Young Lady!

[Suzy]

Really awesome, Rhonda!  I'm sure it won't be the last time either.  But what would happen if you were to really get dolled up? 

Great going.  Keep it up.

Kristi

[ErickaM]

Yeah, it is great to be called Ma'am, I remember the first time my wife & I was out for dinner and the waiter came up and asked, "What can I get you ladies?" I could have pushed my wife out of her chair with a feather.  And it is getting to be more place, my wife can't believe how often people are thing that I am a woman.  I keep telling her that I am a woman; people are just beginning to realize that fact.  It's great! ! !

[Lisbeth]

I get mistaken for a girl all the time. I've even been asked if I was a ftm. I could kiss those people. I love being called girly.

I think alot of us pass through that stage when people think we're FtM.  I also remember the first time some addressed me as "sir" and then corrected herself.  That felt extremely good at the time.

Posted on: July 03, 2007, 09:56:55 AM

Yeah, it is great to be called Ma'am, I remember the first time my wife & I was out for dinner and the waiter came up and asked, "What can I get you ladies?" I could have pushed my wife out of her chair with a feather.  And it is getting to be more place, my wife can't believe how often people are thing that I am a woman.  I keep telling her that I am a woman; people are just beginning to realize that fact.  It's great! ! !

I sincerely hope her reaction is never like the time we were in an appliance store.  The salesman pulled the "What can I do for you ladies?" routine, and she got so mad that she snapped, "I was just showing this person the refrigerator I picked out!" and she stomped out of the store.

[Kate]

I sincerely hope her reaction is never like the time we were in an appliance store.  The salesman pulled the "What can I do for you ladies?" routine, and she got so mad that she snapped, "I was just showing this person the refrigerator I picked out!" and she stomped out of the store.

Ouch!

For as much as she's hurting from all this, I have to give my wife credit... she's been wonderful to me when out. She TRIES to get me "mamm'd," always referring to me as "she" and "her" to waitresses and people, and even tries to make it seem like we're NOT a couple (sits across from me, invites more people along, etc.). When I hear "miss," she smiles a congratulations to me.

On the other hand, I know every miss and maam is like a dagger into her heart...

~Kate~

[rhonda13000]

Yeah, it is great to be called Ma'am, I remember the first time my wife & I was out for dinner and the waiter came up and asked, "What can I get you ladies?" I could have pushed my wife out of her chair with a feather.  And it is getting to be more place, my wife can't believe how often people are thing that I am a woman.  I keep telling her that I am a woman; people are just beginning to realize that fact.  It's great! ! !

In fact, that happened to she and I at an exhibition which she and I had attended as a couple.

We were looking at some new car brochures and a salesman came over and said to the effect,

"If I can help you ladies [ ] with any questions which you might have, please feel free to ask."

I was kind of at 72,000 feet without an aircraft after hearing that. She did not react to it, or did not hear it.

[ErickaM]

In fact, that happened to she and I at an exhibition which she and I had attended as a couple.

We were looking at some new car brochures and a salesman came over and said to the effect,

"If I can help you ladies [ ] with any questions which you might have, please feel free to ask."

I was kind of at 72,000 feet without an aircraft after hearing that. She did not react to it, or did not hear it.


[/quote]

Each time this happens my wife thinks it is funny, or at least she laughs about with me.  The last time this happened was this past Saturday, it was our 18th wedding anniversary & we were in the mall (in guy mode) when a salesperson came up and asked, "Can I help you ladies" my wife just doesn't see the change in my appearance especially when I am wearing my guy cloths.  One of her biggest concerns is that people will think that she is gay; I asked her what you think they are going to think once I go full time.

[Ms Bev]

[laughing with sheer delight]

That was sooooo cooool!!! 

"Indeed; she is talking to me." 


Things like this truly have inestimable value, do they not? 

Rhonda my dear, I needed to hear ma'am so badly and for so long, I'll never ever let it become common place.  Everywhere....at the store, the post office, the service station, you name it, two titles tickle me to no end:  ma'am, and miss.  I really enjoy being called miss.
Soak it up, Rhonda, it's heart medication, and answered prayer, all in one.

Miss Bev

[rhonda13000]

[laughing with sheer delight]

That was sooooo cooool!!! 

"Indeed; she is talking to me." 


Things like this truly have inestimable value, do they not? 

Rhonda my dear, I needed to hear ma'am so badly and for so long, I'll never ever let it become common place.  Everywhere....at the store, the post office, the service station, you name it, two titles tickle me to no end:  ma'am, and miss.  I really enjoy being called miss.
Soak it up, Rhonda, it's heart medication, and answered prayer, all in one.

Miss Bev

[nodding her head, smiling]

The way that you put that.......

[Ms Bev]

...........One of her biggest concerns is that people will think that she is gay; I asked her what you think they are going to think once I go full time.

Erika, I'm fulltime now, finally.  These things take time between couples.  Marcy worried at first about being viewed as openly gay.  But now, she is so comfortable, we walk arm in arm in public, casually smooch if we choose, and make no attempt to hide our affection, or obvious partnership.  We didn't hide it before I transitioned, and now that she is more accustomed to the feeling, we still don't.  I love it!  She is an amazing woman.

Now, if you find your relationship going that way (I'll pray it does), keep in mind that you, at least, should be aware of your surroundings.  Keep you predator radar on.  That's been my place for the longest time, and now that we're both women, it still is my responsibility.



Gay Bev.....the other lady is my wife

[rhonda13000]

Really awesome, Rhonda!  I'm sure it won't be the last time either.  But what would happen if you were to really get dolled up? 

Great going.  Keep it up.

Kristi

[impressed]

I want to be as pretty as you, eventually.

You have it down to a fine art, sis. 

Posted on: July 03, 2007, 07:50:19 PM

...........One of her biggest concerns is that people will think that she is gay; I asked her what you think they are going to think once I go full time.

Erika, I'm fulltime now, finally.  These things take time between couples.  Marcy worried at first about being viewed as openly gay.  But now, she is so comfortable, we walk arm in arm in public, casually smooch if we choose, and make no attempt to hide our affection, or obvious partnership.  We didn't hide it before I transitioned, and now that she is more accustomed to the feeling, we still don't.  I love it!  She is an amazing woman.

Now, if you find your relationship going that way (I'll pray it does), keep in mind that you, at least, should be aware of your surroundings.  Keep you predator radar on.  That's been my place for the longest time, and now that we're both women, it still is my responsibility.



Gay Bev.....the other lady is my wife

[thinking ....]

I think that I confuse 'them' terribly. I don't think that 'they' know what to think.

[ErickaM]

...........One of her biggest concerns is that people will think that she is gay; I asked her what you think they are going to think once I go full time.

Erika, I'm fulltime now, finally.  These things take time between couples.  Marcy worried at first about being viewed as openly gay.  But now, she is so comfortable, we walk arm in arm in public, casually smooch if we choose, and make no attempt to hide our affection, or obvious partnership.  We didn't hide it before I transitioned, and now that she is more accustomed to the feeling, we still don't.  I love it!  She is an amazing woman.

Now, if you find your relationship going that way (I'll pray it does), keep in mind that you, at least, should be aware of your surroundings.  Keep you predator radar on.  That's been my place for the longest time, and now that we're both women, it still is my responsibility.



Gay Bev.....the other lady is my wife

Bev, thanks I that it takes time I have been out to my wife going on 6 years and it has taken this long for her to except that I am trans and she if get use to the fact I am getting ma'amed in public.  I know that given time she will get use to people seeing us together as 2 women.

[ellen b]

 Sorry

too blue

[melissa90299]

Carole King wrote this for us!

You´ve got to get up every morning with a smile on you´re face
And show the world all the love in you´re heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You´re gonna find, yes you will
That you´re beautiful as you feel.

Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing
I´ve got noting to do but watch the passers-by
Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing
And they don´t see it showing, why do I?

You´ve got to get up every morning with a smaile on you´re face
And show the world all the love in you´re heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You´re gonna find, yes you will
That you´re beautiful as you feel.

I have often asked myself the reason for the sadness
In a world where tears are just a lullabye
If there´s any answer, maybe love can end the madness
Maybe not, oh but we can only try.

You´ve got to get up every morning with a smile on you´re face
And show the world all the love in you´re heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You´re gonna find, yes you will
That you´re beautiful as you feel.

[rhonda13000]

Carole King wrote this for us!

You´ve got to get up every morning with a smile on you´re face
And show the world all the love in you´re heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You´re gonna find, yes you will
That you´re beautiful as you feel.

Waiting at the station with a workday wind a-blowing
I´ve got noting to do but watch the passers-by
Mirrored in their faces I see frustration growing
And they don´t see it showing, why do I?

You´ve got to get up every morning with a smaile on you´re face
And show the world all the love in you´re heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You´re gonna find, yes you will
That you´re beautiful as you feel.

I have often asked myself the reason for the sadness
In a world where tears are just a lullabye
If there´s any answer, maybe love can end the madness
Maybe not, oh but we can only try.

You´ve got to get up every morning with a smile on you´re face
And show the world all the love in you´re heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You´re gonna find, yes you will
That you´re beautiful as you feel.

I found myself caressing my breast absent-mindedly [my 'comfort' reaction] and I started to cry after I read that....

Thanx. It touched my heart [in a very good way].