And people will keep on recommending that you try again because we did and most of us do find a hand to hold when we reach out with ours.
And we are still here with you and I trust you are the "one" who will make the biggest difference in your life.
Your emotions are yours to have and hold and you can think your way in or out of any feeling you choose but it may take creativity and imagination.
No one can really change your mind but YOU.
big hugs hon FWIW