Hey there. :3

[Valleyrie]

Blah, so I had just spent about 2 hours writing my introduction which I was quite happy with only to have it deleted as I was logged in for too long and got signed out. But oh well.

So instead of writing a really long post I'll just summarise what I was going to say.

I've been coming to these forums for about 8 months now and have only decided to sign up now. I am currently out of school due to severe depression and anxiety. I'm a very avid gamer and guitarist and love music! I identify as female and am constantly alone every single day in my room. I feel void of much emotion all the time and always feel empty. I am out to my whole immediate family as transgender and they are all very supportive. I'm also seeing a bunch of gender-specialist at the moment which is awesome. I have no friends and have trouble getting close to anyone and even when I do I just push them away and dissapear from their life without saying a word. I had stopped eating or ate very little about a year ago when I began to notice how much distress my own body was causing me. I really did not want to drop out of Year 11 this year but I just could not handle it anymore and the first day back just made it even worse for me. I've never felt right about myself and I just could not connect with anyone.

A little bit of positive stuff:
- Been growing my hair out since leaving school
- Have a much better sense of self for once in my life
- A lot of things have changed this year for me even though I don't realise it sometimes.

Yeah... so that's all I can really remember without trying to make it too long, haha. Damnit... I knew I should've copied what I wrote before posting it. Anyways, hello. :3

Valleyrie.

(Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this!)

[Miyuki]

Ungh, I hate it when that happens (having a very long, well though out post lost to the void due to the idiosyncrasies of forum software). There is an introduction section, but I'm sure a mod will be kind enough to move this thread if they think it's necessary. Either way, welcome to the forum, and have a pleasant stay.

So, wow, your story sounds all to familiar to me. Except I never dropped out of school completely, other than a period where I was home schooled toward the end of high school. And that was due to a problem unrelated to any sort of gender identity disorder. Although, the anxiety and depression I was experiencing that were caused by gender identity disorder certainly weren't helping things... And also, unlike you, it took me another ten years to finally get it through my thick head that I needed to start dealing with my problem instead of avoiding it.

Being alone all the time can really suck, but I know how tempting it is to avoid dealing with the world when you are feeling insecure about yourself. It's all to natural to resent anyone who likes you when you can't even like yourself. It makes you want to push away anyone who tries to get close to you. From the sound of things though, you're on the right track, so I hope you can make some progress reconnecting with the world once you get the whole self-acceptance thing figured out. Trust me, isolation is not going to make you feel better in the long run. Making an account here was probably a good start though.

[Emily.T]

Hi Valleyrie,
                         welcome to our group there are a lot of ppl here who can relate to your story (me included) and there are a lot of information you can get from ppl here, I am a 40 yo MTF just starting my journey into transition but I wish I had your bravery to come out at a young age I have hidden away from the truth for to long but came out 2 years ago because lying to myself and others was hurting to much even though the truth cost me my marriage but I am now in a better place being true to myself.

Ppl here are accepting, very friendly and can offer heaps of advice and support and I hope that we can be of help to you with whatever your going through, just be yourself and remember to always have a smile on your face.

Emily.T xx

[Cindy]

Hi Valleyrie
welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

Nice to meet you!

[LordKAT]

Hi Valleyrie,

Welcome to Susan's. It is a home away from home type place, which you have probably figured out by now.

[Devlyn]

Hi Valleyrie, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. Glad you found the site, you'll meet a lot of friends here and learn that taking one step at a time will get you where you're going. If you should stumble, someone will pick you up and brush the dust off! Hugs, Devlyn

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Valleyrie,

Welcome to our little family. Over 8325 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.


Janet  )O(

[Claire (formerly Magdalena)]

Hi Valleyrie!

Welcome to the family. You've been adopted. I'm glad your first family is so supportive, I think you'll find people here to be at least as supportive of you. Don't worry about lengthy posts, this is the place to get all the words out. Don't be shy, we're already on your side, I promise.

I've noticed social phobia is a common thing around here. I've got my fair share of it. I don't like me, why should anyone else? Maybe as you change and learn to like yourself you'll find other people like you too. 

love,
-maggie

[Jamie D]

Blah, so I had just spent about 2 hours writing my introduction which I was quite happy with only to have it deleted as I was logged in for too long and got signed out. But oh well.

I know exactly how that feels, Valleyrie.  I wrote a long intro for Susans too, and posted it on an entirely wrong board!  Those plumbers had NO idea what I was talking about. 

Seriously though, welcome 

[Valleyrie]

Hey everyone, I read everyone's reply and I just wanted to say thanks for all your kind words! I really appreciate it and feel very welcome already.

Sorry it took me a while to respond.

[Devlyn]

There's no schedule here, post when you feel like posting!  Hugs, Devlyn