My voice journey

[anjaq]

Well, I guess some people just know which surgeons are world class, so they meet there

I always say its a voice supporting surgery. I still can go pretty low, and do my relaxed trained pitch voice, but its not really that comfortable anymore and it is so much easier to use higher pitches and involuntary sounds also go up in pitch - so I have much more options to us emy voice in a feminine way now that were not existing or hard to do before the surgery. But of course I have to use them, otherwise, I dont benefit from the surgery.
Some people dont get that and get stuck in their old voice post op, it takes quite some getting used to and exploring and learning the new abilities...

[anjaq]

Well, its about 3.5 months now since the VFS at Yeson clinic and I guess I am enterning the problematic phase of the dreaded "month 4". My pitch dropped a bit, my voice is more hoarse and more breathy and I have weird sensations in the throat.
So this is how it is right now:
uncontrolled: http://vocaroo.com/i/s11u7uUJAOjd
controlled: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ADLpm89qnt

EDIT: for comparison this is my relaxed but feminized pre op voice. Meaning I did not strain using it but modified resonance: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1o7quC65Qxj - in a more "male" version it would have been http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dXoqjbKwGm. I have made a really male sounding version but I dont know if that is really my original voice. I totally forgot how to do this properly after 15 years , so I will better not play it here.
I show this because in many ways my voice was "ok" before the surgery and to show the changes that happened so far and I think the recordings in my old posts in this thread are probably long ago deleted by vocaroo.

I was told to start with the medication now already, so I assume that this has something to do with the botox wearing off already.

As of now it seems that I have gotten an increase in all parameters (lowest possible pitch, average pitch relaxed/controlled) of about 30-40 Hz.

The voice exercises seem to help me with the contol of the voice. Control is not that hard but has to be done to not sound creaky or low in pitch. Interestingly singing is a lot better - less hoarseness, higher pitch with more ease... I can sing along in a group of women with a no-effort voice and not stick out at all in terms of voice, pitch, undertones,... this is really making me happy. Next step may have to be to translate the things I experience in singing along to speaking, so I dont drop into that broken parts of my voice that are hoarse and too low in pitch. Maybe my brain just has to some more adjusting to the new voice and still tries to use it in the old way which gives me a lower pitch and more hoeaseness...?

This is an interesting observation I made - my voice seems to do a lot better, gets less hoarse and strained when I use an elevated pitch in the target pitch range (around 200-220 Hz) - so it seems my voice wants to be used in that range, but my muscles or my brain dont consider it relaxed to use that pitch range, so to me it feels like I have to consciously elevate my voice into that optimal pitch range. If I dont do that, my voice drops below that in the lower female range of 170 Hz maybe, (160-190) and then it seems to get strained more by that. I sure hope this will resolve itself somehow and my brain and vocal muscles can accept the new optimal pitch range as natural and relaxed, so I dont have to think about it anymore.

[Jennygirl]

Cool, thanks for the update Anja!

I noticed similar things, but as time progressed my lower range did strengthen a lot. I think it may have something to do with lower pitches being more harsh on the vocal cords (slower and more amplified movement) which probably increases inflammation- leading to swelling? I dunno, just a hunch. As time went on the hoarseness diminished to none, and now my full range does not wear my voice out any more than normal talking did pre-op.

It sounds like you are right on track

Oh and by the way, you sound great to me in both recordings!

[thegreenrabbit]

Sounding good!

[seattlesarah]

You sound really good Anjaq. Much clearer than me. Wouldn't ever guess this wasn't a cis voice.

[anjaq]

I noticed similar things, but as time progressed my lower range did strengthen a lot. I think it may have something to do with lower pitches being more harsh on the vocal cords (slower and more amplified movement) which probably increases inflammation- leading to swelling? I dunno, just a hunch. As time went on the hoarseness diminished to none, and now my full range does not wear my voice out any more than normal talking did pre-op.

It sounds like you are right on track

Oh and by the way, you sound great to me in both recordings!

Thanks, Jenny. Yes I think the lower pitches with more "mass" involved and more chest-voice dominated sound are harder on the vocal golds. But good to hear this clears up eventually - how long did it take for you?

I guess I am progressing ok - as I said, in many ways I am happy with the result so far, I still do have some hopes on improvements - some will just take time (hoarseness and breathiness) - some I need maybe a bit of luck (hopefully some further pitch increase until month 6)

You sound really good Anjaq. Much clearer than me. Wouldn't ever guess this wasn't a cis voice.

I edited the post above to show my pre op voice in comparison. I think now it is definitely more feminine sounding, even though pitch has not increased into what Dr Kim defined as female range (he seems to aim at >200 Hz average).

[anjaq]

I hate that dreaded month 4, especially as it started for me after just 3.5 months!

[Teslagirl]

How are you doing Anja? You sound a little down?

Love,

Sarah.

[anjaq]

Well - it is such an up and down. today it seems my voice was pretty ok and I was happy, on other days I struggle a lot to dinf the right way to use it, then there are days when it just does not work and hoarseness takes over... I was told , month 4 pretty rough and it seems to be true. But when it works ok by good luck, a neat fluke or something, the voice is really good - so I think there is potential, I just have to find access to it...

[thegreenrabbit]

Well - it is such an up and down. today it seems my voice was pretty ok and I was happy, on other days I struggle a lot to dinf the right way to use it, then there are days when it just does not work and hoarseness takes over... I was told , month 4 pretty rough and it seems to be true. But when it works ok by good luck, a neat fluke or something, the voice is really good - so I think there is potential, I just have to find access to it...

My own voice now also seems to be in a period where it is struggling to get up in the higher tones.  I don't know if this is part of the phase where it is finding it's place. The only thing to do us to keep at the exercises and get it looked at regularly to rule out other causes.

GR

[anjaq]

I am not sure. I actually never had much struggle to reach higher tones, but at various times it was taking more or less effort to reach them and also the relaxed pitch shifts up and down a bit. right now I feel I have somehow two relaxed pitches - one is very low , like C3, the other is in the target range at the G3 or A3- The latter is the one that comes when I do the lip trills or humming in a relaxed way, so I think this is the one I should try and catch and grab and hold on to it

[thegreenrabbit]

I also seem to have that break between two pitches one at 165 and the other at 220. I don't know what's going on in between. Mine is far from healed.

[anjaq]

Having some fun with the rainbow passage: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0jJUHlsR24g LOL


...

and here more seriously the todays voice when trying to be fully resonant. It lowers pitch if I really allow more resonance but what the heck, eliminating resonance is not a good idea either. http://vocaroo.com/i/s08P9BUPe1C0 - PRAAT says it is at something like 170 or 180 Hz on average. I tseems to bottom out at about 150 Hz (E3), the highest peaks are above 250 Hz (C4), so thats a bit less than an octave of pitch variation. I personally think, 170 Hz is too low, still, but pitch still is unstable - I have hours in which it goes up in the G3 or even A3 range and then lower again like this into the F3 range - but I still need to find a way to properly use resonance in a feminine way that works with the new voice in a supportive way and not feels like it is lowering it.

[ReDucks]

LOL!  Too funny

[Teslagirl]

Dear Anja,

You were concerned about using your voice in a classroom, which is something I worry about as well. Are you teaching now? Does this inconsistency cause you problems when you do have to talk to a class?

Sarah.

[anjaq]

Honestly I dont know how people will perceive my voice in a class. I noticed that after 90 min of talking or so, my voice went weaker, less stable, dropped in pitch a bit, we had to close the windows to avoid noise, I had to drink some water several times, I took "Gelorevoice" - so I managed to do the 120 minutes without sounding awful, I believe.

[Teslagirl]

Honestly I dont know how people will perceive my voice in a class. I noticed that after 90 min of talking or so, my voice went weaker, less stable, dropped in pitch a bit, we had to close the windows to avoid noise, I had to drink some water several times, I took "Gelorevoice" - so I managed to do the 120 minutes without sounding awful, I believe.

I think talking for 90 minutes is remarkable. I hope I'll be able to do that when I start teaching again.

In that amusing 'rainbow passage' recording you did, your voice went far higher than anything I can do. Did you have that sort of range pre-operatively? (It was really high!)

Sarah.

[anjaq]

I think talking for 90 minutes is remarkable. I hope I'll be able to do that when I start teaching again.
In that amusing 'rainbow passage' recording you did, your voice went far higher than anything I can do. Did you have that sort of range pre-operatively? (It was really high!)

Well actually the lecture was 120 minutes and it went well. As I said, I dont know if it sounded always that great, but it was ok, I did not have any huge issues afterwards - so apparently after 3.5 months its ok to do such things.

And yes - I did have a very huge vocal range before the surgery - I had about 3.5 octaves range - going from E2 to A5. I lost a bit at both ends now and presently it is A2 to G5. In each case the very upper notes are very squeezed and not really fit for speaking or singing though

So I dont want anyone to think that this surgery magically increases the upper pitch range by an octave or so - although in some peopl eit may lead to some increase.

[anjaq]

Sadly, I have no prior data on this, but Post-VFS my exhalation speed is at 111%. So it is excellent and there are no hints of an obstruction of my airways. They calculated this from my age, gender and body height and I had to blow through a little device as fast and hard as I can. The volume within one second was 3.6l and apparently this is very good. So I think this is a good hint for people who are worried about sports activity or playing musical instruments after a glottoplasty.

[kwala]

Sadly, I have no prior data on this, but Post-VFS my exhalation speed is at 111%. So it is excellent and there are no hints of an obstruction of my airways. They calculated this from my age, gender and body height and I had to blow through a little device as fast and hard as I can. The volume within one second was 3.6l and apparently this is very good. So I think this is a good hint for people who are worried about sports activity or playing musical instruments after a glottoplasty.

Thanks for sharing, great news indeed!