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How can a lesbian still call herself a lesbian while dating transmen

Started by Brandon, November 13, 2013, 08:43:25 PM

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Brandon

Quote from: Ludwig.von.Mises on November 14, 2013, 02:59:17 PM
How can a lesbian call herself a lesbian while dating transmen?

That is the question.  Are lesbians prohibited from liking, dating, or loving a person who happens to be a transman?  I can call myself anything I want and that would not diminish who I am.

If you are a transman who has not had some sort of bottom surgery then maybe the lesbian likes you for your masculinity and your body.  It might be the best of both worlds.  Look on the bright side.
[/quote



Last time I checked lesbians are sexually physically and emotionally attracted to women, They like lady parts just like straight men do, That's obviously the reason they date us, And many lesbians have said they only date transnen because of their body, No I don't wanna be considered the best of both worlds I also find that highly offensive, I'm a boy not some third gender or anything else, Theirs no bright side to that
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Devlyn

Third gender? Of course there's a bright side to it. Don't be so close-minded, Brandon. Hugs, Devlyn
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Brandon

Quote from: brayden4 on November 14, 2013, 03:00:18 PM
Personally it doesn't matter to me. As long as they respect me as a guy and treat me as such regardless of my "parts" the relationship should be more about love rather than labels, sexuality is more fluid than some realize. Before I decided that transitioning was for me, my girlfriend labeled herself as "lesbian" but now realizes that her own sexuality is way more fluid than she thought. When people ask she just says she is "pansexual" but in all honesty she doesn't understand why labels are even an issue because love is just love regardless of gender or sex.

Granted a "lesbian" most likely would not sleep with a cismale because of the "parts" but the gender aspect might not matter to her. Is there even a label for someone who is attracted to cisfemales and transmen? Could be why some still label themselves as "lesbian" not knowing what else to be labeled as



Labels are important to most, How is a lesbian respecting you as a guy when dating you knowing she likes woman, I happen to not believe sexuality is all that fluid, Sure love is love but I know what I like and so does every other straight guy,
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Brandon

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 14, 2013, 03:18:50 PM
Third gender? Of course there's a bright side to it. Don't be so close-minded, Brandon. Hugs, Devlyn


I'm sorry I don't want a woman considering me the best of both worlds, How about as just a guy, boyfriend or husband, I find it offensive, I'm sure im not the only one, No disrespect or offense
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Brandon

And if labels arent important then why do lesbians insist on keeping that lable when a transman is infact a man
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: Brandon on November 14, 2013, 03:30:05 PM
And if labels arent important then why do lesbians insist on keeping that lable when a transman is infact a man

I gave a possible reason for that.
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

Shaina

Quote from: Brandon on November 14, 2013, 03:23:10 PM

I'm sorry I don't want a woman considering me the best of both worlds, How about as just a guy, boyfriend or husband, I find it offensive, I'm sure im not the only one, No disrespect or offense

I think your feelings on the subject are understandable. I would imagine that all the strife trans guys may experience when they come out makes it doubly difficult to have the gender they endured so much for questioned.

However, like others have said, I think there are cases of some lesbians not knowing enough about gender identity to realize transmen are simply men like any others. This is true of a lot of people-the majority I think-but there seems to be some expectation that lesbians should know better because they're part of the queer community. I don't know that that's fair-there is ignorance in every community. I'm not saying this thinking applies to anyone on this thread, it's just something to consider.
I was a child and she was a child   
    In this kingdom by the sea:   
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
    I and my Annabel Lee
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Brandon

Quote from: Ludwig.von.Mises on November 14, 2013, 03:34:34 PM


Last time I checked lesbians are sexually physically and emotionally attracted to women, They like lady parts just like straight men do, That's obviously the reason they date us, And many lesbians have said they only date transnen because of their body, No I don't wanna be considered the best of both worlds I also find that highly offensive, I'm a boy not some third gender or anything else, Theirs no bright side to that


So you want to be seen as a boy, but you don't want to be objectified for your girl body.  I get that part.

Do you think that attraction only has to do body parts?!  What if someone loved you for your warm loving personality? Okay, so you are a boy in a girls body.  Why would it matter if a self described straight girl liked you or a self described lesbian liked you.  I completely don't get it.



No fully straight person would fall in love with same sex, No fully homosexual person would fall in love with the opposite sex, Chances are you were never hetero/gay from the start
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Brandon

Quote from: Ludwig.von.Mises on November 14, 2013, 03:37:50 PM
So is it you are offended if some person with a female body likes you, but calls herself a lesbian?  And that somehow calls into question that you are man?


Yes, No one is gonna take a transmen seriously if he's dating a lesbian, No ones gonna take a lesbian seriouls if she's dating a transmen, You wanna be seen as a man but date lesbians you wanna be seen as a lesbian but your dating a man, Know your just making it so much more confusing for cis people
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Brandon

Quote from: Shaina on November 14, 2013, 03:44:48 PM
I think your feelings on the subject are understandable. I would imagine that all the strife trans guys may experience when they come out makes it doubly difficult to have the gender they endured so much for questioned.

However, like others have said, I think there are cases of some lesbians not knowing enough about gender identity to realize transmen are simply men like any others. This is true of a lot of people-the majority I think-but there seems to be some expectation that lesbians should know better because they're part of the queer community. I don't know that that's fair-there is ignorance in every community. I'm not saying this thinking applies to anyone on this thread, it's just something to consider.


I agree 100% and yea their is alot of ignorance in all communities
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Danielle Emmalee

Quote from: Brandon on November 14, 2013, 04:10:31 PM


No fully straight person would fall in love with same sex, No fully homosexual person would fall in love with the opposite sex, Chances are you were never hetero/gay from the start

Which is also explained in my post....I feel like I'm being ignored.  Oh well.  I tried. 
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

Joe.

Quote from: Brandon on November 14, 2013, 04:10:31 PM


No fully straight person would fall in love with same sex, No fully homosexual person would fall in love with the opposite sex, Chances are you were never hetero/gay from the start

Yes, they can. Just because it isn't the same as your views doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Think before you post. Please.
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Brandon

Quote from: Ludwig.von.Mises on November 14, 2013, 03:43:49 PM
I hate to tell you this, but some lesbians like front hole sex.  It does not make them any less lesbians.

And lots of straight guys sometimes take a walk on the wild side.

I already know that, And hes not straight if he's doing that sorry to burst your bubble
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Brandon

Quote from: Joe. on November 14, 2013, 04:34:45 PM
Yes, they can. Just because it isn't the same as your views doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Think before you post. Please.


No bro it's not possible I'm sorry but I'm callin it b.s if your fully straight you would't even try to think of the same sex like that like that, same with gays accept for the opposite
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Brandon

 I mean I respect your guys oppinion but on some of I just don't agree
keep working hard and you can get anything you want.    -Aaliyah
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Danielle Emmalee

Brandon, you don't get to define peoples sexual orientation for them based solely on their actions.  Until you can read peoples minds, best to leave that up to the people themselves.
Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?
Discord, we won't take it anymore
So take your tyranny away!
  •  

Joe.

Quote from: Brandon on November 14, 2013, 06:35:56 PM

No bro it's not possible I'm sorry but I'm callin it b.s if your fully straight you would't even try to think of the same sex like that like that, same with gays accept for the opposite

But if you fell in love with them before they told you they were trans, then you can still love them and keep your old identity if you want.
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Gene

Why are we so focused on what sexuality people are? They have the right to identify as whatever feels most comfortable to them without other people deciding that since they don't agree, they have to challenge it and discredit it. You don't have to like it or agree with it, but it's their right to identify themselves as lesbians if they're with a transman, because as individuals they are the only ones qualified to define themselves.
Who's got two thumbs, is a FTM transsexual artist & moderate gamer who is outspoken about his opinions w/ an insatiable appetite for his enemy's shame? This guy
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em444

I understand how it can be very offensive and hurtful, but I think it's a lot more simple than that (sorry if I'm wrong though) I think that basically these women are lesbians not because they dislike masculinity but because they dislike penises, hence they can fall in love/have sex with anyone who doesn't have one. It also depends on the type of relationship: long term vs one night stand because there's romantic orientation vs sexual orientation to take into account. For example some people are bisexual but are heteroromantic or homoromantic meaning that they can only fall in love or have a serious relationship with one gender but wouldn't mind doing neither on the side. Some people are aromantic but are either heterosexual or homosexual etc For some people genitals are a more important part of their sexuality than gender, and that should be understood and respected. Some people are really turned off by either vaginas or  penises idependently of the gender who has them.
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thatboyfresh

I think the majority of people are generally mis-informed on what it means to be a trans-man,as you put it. If someone who is sexually attracted to female body parts reads being a trans man as "a man with a female body" to them it is still fair game? ( Not that we are animals to be hunted or anything but you get my drift) while offensive I find it hard to get mad at those people who assume this because it is purely ignorance. On the other hand if those same people ARE properly educated on trans-men and still fail to acknowledge that they are male I would find that HIGHLY offensive.  But, I do disagree on your "fully heterosexual" "fully homosexual" argument.

What if you identified as a straight male met someone on-line whom you fell in love with but they turned out to be a male, would that make you a homosexual? or vice-versa  I don't think so . As others before me have said, gender and sexuality are more then what can be defined into words, labels and categories. Even though we are taught to believe otherwise. I love my wife, would that love just disappear if she came out to me as a transsexual. No not at all, but that doesn't make me any less of a heterosexual man. I can see a man walking down the street and appreciate his looks without calling into question my sexual identity. Break outside of the box man :)
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