How can a lesbian still call herself a lesbian while dating transmen

[brit91]

As a cis woman who identified as a lesbian in the past and has been in a WONDERFUL relationship with a FTM for the past 4 years.. I don't think ruling out women who identify as lesbians is fair at all because you never know when someone is going to re-evaluate their own identity.. I'm not even sure why labels matter at all..no one can help who they fall in love with..and if you are lucky enough to find love with someone who gets you and tries to understand everything about you and be your best friend then that's pretty amazing.. a label shouldn't classify weither they get a chance or not because you could honestly be passing up your soul-mate. At the end of the day NO relationship is perfect and as years go by people change..everyone changes you never truly stop growing and learning about yourself and the person your with.. its about finding that one person who is willing to grow with you.

[Brandon]

As a cis woman who identified as a lesbian in the past and has been in a WONDERFUL relationship with a FTM for the past 4 years.. I don't think ruling out women who identify as lesbians is fair at all because you never know when someone is going to re-evaluate their own identity.. I'm not even sure why labels matter at all..no one can help who they fall in love with..and if you are lucky enough to find love with someone who gets you and tries to understand everything about you and be your best friend then that's pretty amazing.. a label shouldn't classify weither they get a chance or not because you could honestly be passing up your soul-mate. At the end of the day NO relationship is perfect and as years go by people change..everyone changes you never truly stop growing and learning about yourself and the person your with.. its about finding that one person who is willing to grow with you.

Your not getting why I find it offensive though no I will not date a lesbian if you don't like men don't hit on me same for gay guys, Know the girls can find me attractive but anything past that uh no..... I will pass

[brit91]

Your not getting why I find it offensive though no I will not date a lesbian if you don't like men don't hit on me same for gay guys, Know the girls can find me attractive but anything past that uh no..... I will pass

I understand what your saying and why you feel its offensive however my point is that if a FTM were to meet a really nice girl who identified as lesbian at first and she got to know them for who they are as a person and gay/straight/trans/bi wasn't even a issue then she shouldn't get kicked to the curb because we all continue to grow throughout our lives and we are constantly learning new things about ourselves.. Just because someone who identified as lesbian falls for a trans guy doesn't mean the trans guy is any less of a man for giving her a chance.Throughout life and especially in the LGBT community we see so many outsiders who are closed minded and bring so much judgement without getting to know us for who we are as human beings..It's like if someone hears "you like men and your a guy" they instantly turn u away for a job or a friendship pretty much anything and to judge within our community is sad. Basically we all bleed the same way.. love is love and we are all people that should not be over-looked.

[Brandon]

I understand what your saying and why you feel its offensive however my point is that if a FTM were to meet a really nice girl who identified as lesbian at first and she got to know them for who they are as a person and gay/straight/trans/bi wasn't even a issue then she shouldn't get kicked to the curb because we all continue to grow throughout our lives and we are constantly learning new things about ourselves.. Just because someone who identified as lesbian falls for a trans guy doesn't mean the trans guy is any less of a man for giving her a chance.Throughout life and especially in the LGBT community we see so many outsiders who are closed minded and bring so much judgement without getting to know us for who we are as human beings..It's like if someone hears "you like men and your a guy" they instantly turn u away for a job or a friendship pretty much anything and to judge within our community is sad. Basically we all bleed the same way.. love is love and we are all people that should not be over-looked.

If a lesbian dates a transman and she knows hes trans your not respecting his idenity point blank period!  Actions speak louder than I still see you as man, If your not showing then no.....

[brit91]

If a lesbian dates a transman and she knows hes trans your not respecting his idenity point blank period!  Actions speak louder than I still see you as man, If your not showing then no.....

Respect, "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."  you are holding on way to tight to labels and not seeing the big mature picture. If someone treats you right,loves you unconditionally and never makes you feel like less of a person then that is RESPECT. It has nothing to do with labels.

[Brandon]

Respect, "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."  you are holding on way to tight to labels and not seeing the big mature picture. If someone treats you right,loves you unconditionally and never makes you feel like less of a person then that is RESPECT. It has nothing to do with labels.

Your not getting it so I'm done

[wheat thins are delicious]

If a lesbian dates a transman and she knows hes trans your not respecting his idenity point blank period!  Actions speak louder than I still see you as man, If your not showing then no.....

Not really.  If a lesbian is in a relationship with a trans man because she loves him as a person but still views him as a man, that's one thing.  If she was in a relationship with him prior to his transition and stayed with him, that's one thing.  Disrespect would come when a lesbian actively seeks out a trans man but would not consider dating a cis man. 

[Brandon]

Not really.  If a lesbian is in a relationship with a trans man because she loves him as a person but still views him as a man, that's one thing.  If she was in a relationship with him prior to his transition and stayed with him, that's one thing.  Disrespect would come when a lesbian actively seeks out a trans man but would not consider dating a cis man.

That's what I was talking about

[wheat thins are delicious]

That's what I was talking about

Wording means so much.  You said

If a lesbian dates a transman and she knows hes trans your not respecting his idenity point blank period!  Actions speak louder than I still see you as man, If your not showing then no.....

Think about how that sounds.  It sounds as if a lesbian dates a trans man, no matter what the circumstances, she's in the wrong and is being disrespectful.

What you meant was that if a lesbian actively seeks out trans men, while at the same time will not consider cis men, she's being disrespectful.