What do you tell your PCP? Hair stylist?

[JaneNicole2013]

Two things coming up (soon) and I'm looking for some advice.

I will be seeing my doc tomorrow for a check and need to tell him about my HRT. When my optometrist asked why I was taking the meds I was taking I answered "transgendered issues." I wasn't happy with this response. Is there anything better? I don't like the word "transitioning" since it can mean so many things and I don't like saying I was "diagnosed" with gender dysphoria since I've known about it my whole life.

Also, I'm due up for a hair cut. I'm still presenting as male but would like something more androgynous looking. Also, after eight weeks on hormones my hair is much different so I would like a good cut and some haircare advice. I usually go to a place like Great Clips (my one "wish I woulda done" as a male would have been to go to Sports Clips but alas, that ship has sailed). What did you do for your first cut as a transitioning woman?

Thanks!

Jane

[TerriT]

IDK, I went through my doc and everyone at the hospital has my records. Mostly people just ask if I'm taking anything in addition. I suppose you could just say "it's personal" or you could hand them a copy of your prescriptions and let them figure it out on their own, if they even know or care.

This was my hair form a little while ago, which I though worked pretty well for a shorter hair style. It's quite pixie-ish imo.



You should probably think about going to a more professional studio though, they will have a better idea of how to cut your hair for the shape of you skull to keep it looking good. You can also use better hair care products. I'm a big fan of Bed Head stuff, which you can get at most drug stores. It's significantly better than any mainstream brand, but won't break the bank like salon stuff.

Wait, did you post this yesterday and nobody responded???

[kariann330]

I go thru my PCP for hrt, even tho she is kinda pricey, and as far as hair i suggest if you stay with Great Clips finding a girl who knows her stuff and try to stick with her. Generally the stylists at Great Clips are more then qualified.

[Beth Andrea]

I told my PCP "My the*apist and I are exploring the possibility that I am transgendered...and I might be going on hormones if I am." I kept him up-to-date on things as they progressed. In your case, you'd be using present tense, not future.

"I've been on hormones (E and AA) since (date) because I am (transitioning from male to female/transgendered/other). Normally, E isn't prescribed to a male unless there are gender issues involved (or even if there are other reasons, that is why you're taking them, yes?) Ideally, you should not hide things from your PCP...if anyone needs to know, s/he is the one.

My hairstylist (HairMasters) I just said "I'm growing my hair out, and I want a more feminine hairstyle". She understood right away what I was doing, and showed me a big picture book with many different styles...and gave me a rundown on what would look good with my head/face shape, length of hair, etc.

I'm very happy with her, been going for the past 2 years now. I pay $28 for a cut/style, much less than $80+ at a "real" pro place...not sure if I'd be happy walking out with $52 less in my purse.

Tiffany, you are rockin' that pixie!! 

[Sammy]

I found a hairstylist from the spectrum (he used to be bi, but now identifies as a straight guy, lol). Since I got this referral from my best male friend, he also was kind enough to explain my situation to the hairstylist beforehands . So, when I had my appointment, he already had several ideas how to cut my hair, we chatted about this and everything went just fine. And we kept chatting through all our session.
/totally unrelated, but it was pretty obvious for me that he was bi and it was especially funny that his mannerisms were even more feminine than my are/.

As for the PCP, my endo offered me very simple but blunt idea - if the pharmacist starts asking why an Estrogen prescription has been issued to a "male", my answer should be: "You have an issue or questions? Then, please, call my doctor - her number is on prescription, so You both could discuss my treatment". She said that would be sufficient as no pharmacist would ever dare to question an endo's opinion.

[KabitTarah]

I tell anyone who cares for me professionally that I'm transgender. I had a tough time telling the laser tech... and then I got over it. At this point it has to be someone in a somewhat professional capacity. I have nothing against the ladies at SuperCuts - many are very nice - but I'm not about to say I'm transgender with 3-5 people listening in... I haven't been to a real salon... still growing hairs.

I also have no need to tell most people... if there's really no need, I wouldn't even mention it. . . if I were buying frames at the eye doctor's and wanted to look at the Bebe line (ultra-fem) I'd probably mention it. (Haven't been in there yet - will do that in the new year... but I REALLY hope some of the girly frames fit me). The doctor himself doesn't really need to know, though I'll probably tell him I'm on meds (since I will be when I finally go).

[Sammy]

Pardon my ignorance, but how is opthometry and being on the HRT interlinked? I kinda need new glasses, so I wanted to know if there is something that has eluded my atention so far.

[Emily.T]

I just go to my local woman's salon there's no better feeling then sitting in a salon getting your hair styled along with 4 other women.

Emily.T xx

[KabitTarah]

Pardon my ignorance, but how is opthometry and being on the HRT interlinked? I kinda need new glasses, so I wanted to know if there is something that has eluded my atention so far.

The doctor always asks what medications I'm on. This is part of the standard of practice for opthomology. Many conditions (diabetes, BP, etc) and medications can affect your eyesight. Also, estrogen carries the risk of benign pituitary tumors that can affect vision (from: http://positivelyaware.com/2008/08_04/transgender_therapy_primer.html )

[JaneNicole2013]

As always, thanks! And yes, I did post yesterday but it was late last night so I'm sure people are just now reading it.

I like the suggested response to the pharmacist about contacting my endo to discuss my treatment with him. Last time I went the guy who transferred my Rx looked at me questioningly, but the one who gave me my meds smiled at my knowingly. That was reassuring. I am actually filling my second refill today.

As for my doc, I think I'll say something like, "I am transgendered and am expoloriing the possibility of transitioning with low dose HRT" and then launch into explaining why I'm there--which is due in part to the transition. I just thought it would be a good idea to have someone else in the medical profession know what I'm doing--especially my PCP.

As for my optometrist, that threw me off that they asked what meds I was taking, but my g/f, who was with me at the time, explained that all responsible medical professionals want to know, especially since some (like estrogen) can affect the eye sight. What surprised me was that he asked "why" I was taking those meds. I thought he'd be able figure it out--unless maybe he thought I was a sex criminal on some form of chemical castration. I think my answer threw him off a bit but it didn't stop him from perfoming a thorough exam and he was pleasant to me.

As far as glasses go, I picked out a nice pair of unisex glasses. I haven't picked them up yet. They are $300 even with insurance (bad insurance plus bad eyesight) so I am going to wait until my FSA card funds after the first of the year. Where I shop the unisex glasses were between the men's and women's.

And Tiffany, I LOVE that cut. Not sure that'll work for me (I'm 48) but that's along the lines of what I'm looking for. I think I'll reach out to some friends I"m open to and see if they have any recommendations. I'm sure I'll have to pay more than $15 from here on out .

Thanks again ladies!

[Tristan]

Two things coming up (soon) and I'm looking for some advice.

I will be seeing my doc tomorrow for a check and need to tell him about my HRT. When my optometrist asked why I was taking the meds I was taking I answered "transgendered issues." I wasn't happy with this response. Is there anything better? I don't like the word "transitioning" since it can mean so many things and I don't like saying I was "diagnosed" with gender dysphoria since I've known about it my whole life.

Also, I'm due up for a hair cut. I'm still presenting as male but would like something more androgynous looking. Also, after eight weeks on hormones my hair is much different so I would like a good cut and some haircare advice. I usually go to a place like Great Clips (my one "wish I woulda done" as a male would have been to go to Sports Clips but alas, that ship has sailed). What did you do for your first cut as a transitioning woman?

Thanks!

Jane

I would just tell them and explain it in a short way. own it. because if not and you say it like your scared ashamed or something then they  will prey on you a little. own it and be like its cool 

[Eva Marie]

And Tiffany, I LOVE that cut. Not sure that'll work for me (I'm 48)

I agree - that cut really works for you Tiffany

I've had to out myself to a few medical professionals over the past 6 months. I took some new scripts for estrogen to walmart and when I went to pick them up I was told "just a minute, the pharmacist wants to talk to you" and I knew what was coming. Sure enough he approached me with a concerned/questioning look and I just flat out told him that I'm transgender and ended the questioning immediately. My dentist also questioned why I was taking estrogen and he got the same answer. I think that he thought for a minute that I am FTM because he then asked me when I'd had my surgery which I thought that a little bit across the line, but I went ahead and told him that I hadn't. He has been nothing but polite and professional ever since. The lady that cuts my hair will be a challenge because I go to church with her and I don't know where she stands on transgender people. Oh well, there are lots of other places to get my hair done if she has an issue with it.

These people are professionals and they need to know what you are taking so they can avoid doing anything that would be contra-indicated, so don't be afraid to own your situation and tell them what they need to know. If they can't deal with it then find a new medical professional that can.

[Sammy]

My dentist also questioned why I was taking estrogen and he got the same answer.

Dentist???

[KabitTarah]

Dentist???

Must have been very girly looking teeth. "Eva, your teeth are looking very girlish today... are you on any meds I should know about?"

[SandraB]

Dentist???

They do. There are not only drug interactions that they need to be aware of, but also also some bone building Osteoporosis drugs that make tooth extraction more tricky. They aren't being nosy, just doing due diligence.
[/quote]

[JaneNicole2013]

As an update...my PCP and his LPN were both very supportive. They asked why I was taking the estrogen and I told them that I was transgendered and considering transition. They asked if I was going to have the surgery any time soon and my doc said he would brush up on transgendered treatment since he wasn't familiar with it. I thought that was nice. It was funny, though, that when he went in with the stethoscope he paused before he made contact and respected my new boundaries (the "boobettes" as I'm calling them).

It was a very positive experience.

Next step: haircut.

[Eva Marie]

As an update...my PCP and his LPN were both very supportive. They asked why I was taking the estrogen and I told them that I was transgendered and considering transition. They asked if I was going to have the surgery any time soon and my doc said he would brush up on transgendered treatment since he wasn't familiar with it. I thought that was nice. It was funny, though, that when he went in with the stethoscope he paused before he made contact and respected my new boundaries (the "boobettes" as I'm calling them).

It was a very positive experience.

Next step: haircut.

Awesome! 

[Joanna Dark]

I don't tell anyone. My PCP is at the Mazzoni Center so obviously he knows what he Is prescribing. If i have to show people my license or say my male name they either know or don't believe i am me. Tried to get a new phone today with my access card and the ladu was lke "Miss, you cant use this man's card." Happens a lot. Validating but awkward.