Do I Look, or Could I Pass, as Female? 2.0

[JaneNicole2013]

Okay, so I'm mixed up in a bit of a conundrum at the moment. My boss at work has basically told me that my hair is getting too long, and long hair isn't allowed on guys according to the rules (nor are ponytails, so I can't just tie it back, I'd basically have to find a way to tuck it up and under and make a little "pouch" back there, which would basically make it look like I don't have long hair at all,) and she's probably also going to tell me that I can't wear earrings anymore before long, because those aren't allowed either. This same manager also already knows that I'm trans, and is expecting me to transition at some point. So that is not an obstacle. I'm already out, and therefore am not going to get fired or harassed by management when I finally do make the official switch. They're expecting it, and have already offered to make sure I'm not harassed once I do.

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Also, I have indeed been gendered female a few times in this work uniform, even with a nametag that still says "Charlie." Two people have given me "her... um, I mean him," one person used female pronouns blatantly, and yesterday one of the players called me "sweetheart." So there's definite external signs that some people are starting to think I'm female. But again, I'm just scared that I'm not female enough, that I'm still going to be shunned and quarantined. So opinions would me much appreciated.

I think you nail it. I think "male fail" is very appropriate. If I were at a casino and you were dealing I wouldn't think twice about you being male or female. I'd think female-unhesitatingly.

[Emily.T]

Carrie you have done very well already you need to give yourself a bit more credit for how far you have come so far.  Some makeup, nail polish, and ear rings would help if you don't know how to apply the make up there are very good videos on YouTube.

Emily.T xx

[TerriT]

Also... this... what do you mean "everything else?" I'm going to be honest, I really don't know what you're talking about. Makeup maybe, but what else? It seems like everyone else has this huge feminization routine that they go through, where I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing. You mention making a video that's my "best presentation..." well, I really don't have a "best presentation." I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I had a mom whose idea of a hairstyle was getting a fem-mullet so that she didn't have to fuss with it, and she never wore makeup, and I never had any sisters or anything, so I've just never been exposed to femininity my entire life. I've never been around makeup or hair products or jewelry or anything feminine, and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Aside from maybe wearing a different pair of earrings, or makeup (which I've still only worn once in my entire life,) that really was my best presentation. :/

I could really use some help on that. When it comes to anything feminine appearance-wise, I'm completely lost.

Everything else just means all the stuff. Make up, hair, nails, jewelry etc. The things you do to treat yourself like a lady.

"Best presentation" was meant to see your most feminine approach for your job. Your video lacked any enthusiasm or make up or smile or anything else.

I get that you have different role models or experiences in your life. I'm so not trying to pick on you or anything. I think the world of you. My point is you're doing the tough stuff, the easy stuff is no problem. You spent a year hrt, you can tackle make up in a week. You're so pretty and have so much potential and have done so much. It breaks my heart to see you question yourself like this.

It's in you. People here see it. You don't because your experience with female role models is different. But it's in you and you're ready.

I'm so sorry if I'm offending you. I don't mean it that way. I just want to see you happy.

[Sarah leah]

@Carrie Honestly I think you look fine. Yet if you really want to wear makeup try these three products to start with as I feel you are blessed with nice even toned skin. So less is more for you. I used ms paint to do a quick picture for you as an example too. Its not perfect but it might give you a hint as to what I mean.



These are good cheap starter makeups to use everyday at work.

Iman rich red $6Aus (lipstick) it suits your mouth shape I think
Chanel tweed bronze $15Aus (blusher) its not heavy and highlights your nice skin tone, as it is just below your cheek bones/shape so it contours it nicely while not being over the top
Australis mascara $4Aus (it is a flat black so it looks natural and not shiny)

Keep in mind I am not on HRT or a makeup expert so I am only going by what I seen my older sisters do >.<

[Dee]

Carrie- first off, I'm kind of surprised you aren't full time already.  I don't see all of your posts, but when they pop up, you sound so confident and encouraging, that I just sort of assumed you were already full swing into things!

I could really use some help on that. When it comes to anything feminine appearance-wise, I'm completely lost.

I absolutely hear where you're coming from.  While I do have a sister very close to my age, she never dove deep into makeup and jewelry.  This, plus living with five guys, I always felt uncomfortable, like I should be doing more "feminine" routines.  But honestly?  I'm so much more comfortable with minimal makeup, no jewelry, no nail polish, etc.  They're nice on occasion, but it's just not me, and I wouldn't worry about having a minimal morning routine. 

To illustrate, my routine is:
- Shower (face cleanser & exfoliate, condition hair)
- dress
- brush in argan oil and flatiron hair
- shave (if necessary)
- foundation/cover up

Not very much, and I know my sister does even less- no need to shave, no makeup, and just blow-dries her hair.  It's just about doing what makes you feel comfortable and ready for the day.

[Carrie Liz]

Okay, I definitely owe everyone a BIG thank you for all of the help, and all of the honest opinions. You were all amazingly helpful!

[Harlow]

I'll put my basic routine down here as well. I'm the youngest of 5 with 2 sisters and a very girly mom whom I used to play with makeup and hair etc. Working in the beauty industry for over 12+ years doesn't hurt either

Basic:




• Bathe and shave
• Apply facial moisturizer, one with SPF is best or you can layer an SPF over any moisturizer then apply a makeup primer (used especially when my skin is super dry or post laser)
• Get dressed so that I don't get all my make up done than have to possibly get makeup all over my dress, this has totally happened and can start your day off grumpy 
• Put on beard cover (dermablend) sparingly and dab and pat, don't spread it on! If you don't have dermablend use concealer with same technique.
• Liquid foundation everywhere but sparingly over beard cover, mainly just blend it out
• Mineral powder over entire face to finish, or you could use a translucent setting powder. Using a kabuki or powder brush, NOT a makeup sponge, application is key for a more airbrushed look. Swirl brush in powder tap excess off and buff the powder on in a circular motion, may take a few layers. I perfer pressed powder it's way less messy. Also apply it everywhere including eyelids, especially if you're not going to wear eyeshadow of any sort.
• Apply a very soft shade of blush or bronzer, it's very very easy to overdue it. If it's too colorful apply another round of mineral powder just over the parts you used too much blush.
  
• I use a dark brown eyeshadow and a tiny detail brush to fill in my eyebrows. Using eye shadow is a lot more natural looking then eyebrow pencil.
• Apply mascara
• Apply a lip stain or tinted lip balm. I like a bold lip and usually go for a bright red or brick red. That's just me though since I don't like messing with eye shadow, unless I have some time.
• Than I do my hair which is a whole other routine. Basically I just triple barrel my hair as it is stick straight and super fine like corn silk and pin and hairspray it

Sounds like a lot but I do this in about 10-15 minutes Hope this helps

EDIT: Depending on what you decide lip wise, I wanted to also say that a lip brush is my best friend I don't go anywhere without it!! Since I do a bold lip, the lip brush helps to soften the lip line, and makes for a flawless smooth edge. So after eating and such have a lip brush on you at all times will ensure a perfect pout throughout the day 

[Allyson]

As soon as I figure out how to put pictures here (Gosh I did not even find out how to upload an avatar!!), I will gladly do it

[Inazuma]

Here I am, 29 y\o, pre HRT, (I will start next week !! 

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[Inazuma]

another one with brows make up

[Joan]

As soon as I figure out how to put pictures here (Gosh I did not even find out how to upload an avatar!!), I will gladly do it

Allyson, you need to link to a photo off site.  And you can only put up an avatar after you hit 15 posts

another one with brows make up

Inazuma: wow, lightning!

[Allyson]

The only off site photos I have are on my Facebook account. How do I link them?

[Joan]

The only off site photos I have are on my Facebook account. How do I link them?

I'm sorry, I'm not sure. You need to link to an off site URL using the image button above the reply window. 

You could try uploading something to Imgur or some similar site. I hope that helps

[Allyson]

And the duckface picture, because being a girl obliges (Pre-HRT)

[kasika]

Looking good Allyson!

[Ashey]

@Carrie  Ultimately, you'll have to experiment to see what works best for you, because it'll vary a LOT from woman to woman. Like, I couldn't do everything that Harlow does. I do not have that kind of patience with applying makeup. xD

Personally, I try to do the least amount I can get away with and still feel comfortable:

-Quick spot shave if I need it
-Brush my hair
-Put my hair up (or not)
-Blend in some concealer under my eyes
-Put on some earrings
-Maybe some shimmery or colour-y lip balm.

Then if I'm feeling fancy and not in a hurry, I might put on some eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lip shimmer instead of balm. I have yet to use my foundation (don't really need it) and mascara is annoying. Oh, I do fill in my eyebrows a bit with pencil, but that depends on my mood more than anything. So don't feel you need to do tons of things. There are different things or layers for different occasions. You don't look like you need a face-full of makeup to go to work.

[jussmoi4nao]

Wearing darker color eye makeup even tho I was told I shouldn't but im sorta drawn to it. not sure how it looks. Sorry its a crappy pic with bad shadowy lighting and derpy expression but yeah w/e:



I look more italian than usual, I noticed. tho I was told I look hispanic ha.. I'm glad I felt like pulling myself together a bit today tho.

Btw ashey you look really pretty

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Wearing darker color eye makeup even tho I was told I shouldn't but im sorta drawn to it. not sure how it looks. Sorry its a crappy pic with bad shadowy lighting and derpy expression but yeah w/e:



I look more italian than usual, I noticed. tho I was told I look hispanic ha.. I'm glad I felt like pulling myself together a bit today tho.

Btw ashey you look really pretty

amazing!
are you on hormones?
pls say yes   

[jussmoi4nao]

amazing!
are you on hormones?
pls say yes   

Yeah for like 2 or 3 months. 2 months on my current dose and a little more on low dose. I was on a little bit last year too starting at around age 17.

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Yeah for like 2 or 3 months. 2 months on my current dose and a little more on low dose. I was on a little bit last year too starting at around age 17.

yeah that little bit did the trick cause you look beautiful 

im 2 months in ,,,maybe I should post a pic here cause im very confused about my appearance...