Confused

[foreversarah]

I'm very confused and annoyed at the moment.

First things first, I KNOW I'm transgender. But despite this I'm attracted to girls. We all know that sexuality and gender identity are different.

I have fancied girls before as many have fancied a girl or boy before but nothing more. But there's a girl I know from my time at uni who I have particularly got to know during my last year there and even more so during the last semester and six months since where we have constantly texted/messaged each other almost daily. She's someone I have really got close to and I can she feels the same, and I have really fallen for her.

So, how do I deal with these feelings alongside my gender identity feelings? I know that my gender identity is more important and MUST be dealt with but I really don't know what to do in the short term.

Thanks.

[Ashey]

Well, they should be separate issues, but sometimes they aren't. Does she know you're transgendered? And would she have a problem with it? If you two are to have a relationship, it will depend on what you both want out of it and how open-minded the both of you are. If she wants masculinity and a male sex drive in her partner, and if she can't get past that, it may not work. Conversely, if she's into women, she may expect more out of you than you can provide at the moment. Sadly I've had this problem before (wasn't man enough OR woman enough, depending on the relationship). If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Now, you have to be open minded too though, and if she's willing to try then that's certainly worth pursuing, but if she's expecting an extreme on either end of the gender spectrum then don't be surprised if it's a bumpy road. And if she doesn't know that you're transgendered yet, then I would probably start with that ASAP if you want it to go anywhere.

Good luck!