Hey there. I am/was in a similar situation to yours. Had issues around genitals, boobs, strong desire for surgery etc. throughout teen years. So I will say what my thought process is/was. I hope it helps.
In terms of how do you know if you are trans.. It is difficult to be objective when 'diagnosing' yourself. I will graduate as a doctor next year, but it is still hard for me. When studying psychiatry, I read the DSM-IV diagnosis guidelines, and realised that although I had 'a persistent cross gender identification', my dysphoria, although present, did not cause sufficient levels of anguish and dysfunction to qualify as GID. So it depends how you define trans.. I identify as trans but do not believe I have GID (gender identity disorder). So at this moment I feel that transitioning would be nice, but not absolutely necessary. Right now I'm not miserable/uncomfortable enough to make the societal impact of transitioning (family, career, relationships) worth it. This balance is obviously different for everyone.
I do not think gender counselors are free of bias either.. professionals learn from textbooks and what previous patients describe, and it would be fairly easy to get them to give a wrong diagnosis.. or to be convinced by them that you feel a certain way. Same with strangers on online support forums. You alone are the best judge of your feelings.
I feel going on trans forums and sites validates these feelings, as in knowing I am not alone, but for me it can make the dysphoric feelings worse. I try to limit how much I go on, otherwise I start thinking too much, and become more uncomfortable.
Have a balanced view. I know just about everyone will hate me mentioning this, but look up the experiences of de-transitioners (those who transitioned and regretted). Also there is a much hated infamous blog by has some arguments on how an individual can identify as female, while still being very male. I mostly disagree with her and think her posts are inflammatory and crude, but there are some points which honestly changed my mind on certain issues. I think it's important to read both sides of the argument especially as you are undecided at the moment.
Right now I identify my gender as 'not female'. Whether or not I'm proper 'male' though, I don't know, and I've decided it doesn't really matter for now. I use binders and a packer when dysphoria peaks, and wear male clothing all the time. I am considering low dose hormones. But I am aware that feelings can sometimes change. Just gonna take it as it comes.
Good luck in your personal journey. Don't let anyone tell you what you are.
