Self harm/S.I in the FTM community?? (Poss trig warning)

[Lake James]

Hello I'm not sure if this is ok to talk about on here, so please remove it if it isn't.  I just qondered whether self harm has a high rate amoung us ?  I have done since about 11, not directly related to issues with my identity but rather just in general. Just curious really.  Anyone else ?

[Cindy]

Yes, self harm, para-suicide as well as suicide is higher in transgender. Self harm includes drug and alcohol abuse as well as cutting etc. The incident of para-suicide and suicide did not decrease in post-op women compared to pre-op women either in the largest study I am aware of. Hence the recommendation to keep accessing support services post-op.

[Kreuzfidel]

I used to and stopped in 2009.  I have done it since then, early on in 2010 - but that was before I started HRT.  I don't know about the prevalence amongst trans* folk, but I'd stand by Cindy's information.

[maximusloverus]

I used to from the age of 15 to 19. I suffer from depression and I had no way of talking to anyone about it until I started therapy.

[Oriah]

I used to do a lot of SI when I was younger.  I thought I had gotten over it years ago, but a while back I became obsessed with finding a method of self-performed orchiectomy.  I started injecting ethanol into my testicular tissue a few milliliters at a time every other day.  I tried to convince myself it was just for transition's sake, to stop steroidogenisis; but the act became very addictive.  I didn't stop until the tissue became so hard I couldn't force the needle in without bruising.

I've been doing better since though, but now I'm a bit more cautious.  I realized this isn't something I'll ever get over.  I can stop engaging in self injurious activities, but the issue will always be beneath the surface, hibernating in the deepest parts of my self.

[Lake James]

Thanks for the replies.  It kind of makes me feel better, but in a sad way...if that makes any sense at all !  Its made me see that I'm clearly not the only one who does it, but its sad that other people feel the way I do. 

[aleon515]

I did SI way before I knew I was trans and stopped actually way earlier than I knew I was trans as well. But I am pretty sure it must have had to do with it in some way. I am sure it is very common (but not universal) in the trans community.

--Jay

[Natkat]

the number is pretty high amount transgender, I have seen the numbers for suicide but I dont remember where.
for adiction and selfharm it also high.
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I also tryed selfharm like cutting and hitting myself and suicide.
I know people who get this "good felling from cutting" where they feel there pain get away, I however did not feel it like that, it was more like a frustration and a way to cope with the world I kinda had to learn to be strong.
I think a way for me to live was to ignore my body include the pain. I had a slight wish for a moment if I became good enough I could cut of my chest but it where too much pain.
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