I still have not legally changed my name. That's coming up next year. The story of my name is one that isn't finished yet. But here's the synopsis.
I was told very young that if I'd been a girl, my name would have been Kathryn Elizabeth, after my maternal grandmother. Oh how I wished that was my name! Then, when I was 13, my sister was born and she became Kathryn Elizabeth, and I couldn't have that name. So I thought about it and began at that age to think of myself as Elizabeth. Over the years, as I toyed with my gender identity, I considered many middle names but eventually settled on Marie. And this is where I was when I came out to family.
But earlier this year, with help from my sister, I found an Irish Gaelic name that meant the same thing as my male first name - "beloved" (David). That name is Cara. And in speaking with both my sister and my daughter, they both thought it a wonderful tribute to my mother if I were to choose Cara Elizabeth as my name.
I'm now about 99.99% certain that when I file my name change paperwork next year, it will be as Cara Elizabeth. Friends call me Liz and that's fine too. Transmuting the name that my mother gave me, in order to honor her, feels right to me. Carrying the middle name of my grandmother, who loved me dearly and after whom I would have been named under other circumstances feels right too.
Each of us chooses our names for different reasons. Whatever reason you have for choosing yours will be fine. Good luck finding a name!